3 Surprising Ways to Feel More Feminine

Putting on a dress and some lipstick aren’t the only ways to get into girl mode. (We women are more complex than that!) That’s why I wanted to go beyond the obvious and share 3 surprising ways to feel more feminine:

1. Lean back

transgender women leaning back

I recently attended a teleclass hosted by my friend, relationship and intimacy coach Annie Lalla. One of the participants asked how she could feel more connected with her femininity. (Yes, genetic girls struggle with this, too! A lot of women have too much masculine energy and it drives guys away.)

Annie’s advice was to “lean back”. I LOVED this and thought it was also great advice for transgender women …

First, check your body. Are you leaning forward or leaning back? Leaning forward like you are poised for action is very masculine. Get into the habit of leaning back. When you are sitting down, imagine you are a queen leaning back in her throne. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Then, check your behavior. Are you one of those girls who pushes her way through life? If so, you need to “lean back” in your actions and in your conversations with others. Try less muscling and more allowing. “Leaning back” is a great metaphor for living from your feminine.

2. Try a different perfume

transgender perfumes

The right perfume can connect you with your femininity like nothing else.

While it’s great to have a “signature scent,” don’t get stuck to an old perfume. Since scent is strongly linked to memories, your current perfume might be bringing you back to a time that doesn’t represent who you are now.

If so, it’s time to go shopping! Look for a perfume that matches the qualities you want to express. Think floral scents if you want to express your romantic side and oriental or woody scents if you want to bring out your inner seductress.

3. Smile

transgender woman smiling

Ok, hear me out before you dismiss this last tip as a cheesy platitude. There are loads of reasons why smiling is a fabulous beauty and femininity booster:

  • Smiling releases endorphins in the brain that boost your mood.
  • Smiling lifts your cheeks and gives you a natural facelift.
  • Smiling makes other people happy.
  • Smiling makes you look more feminine.

The last point is especially interesting. According to a Japanese study, smiling faces are rated as more feminine than serious faces. That’s because women and girls smile more frequently than boys and men.

There is an art to smiling, so practice in front of a mirror until you find your best smile. (Try big and small smiles and smiling with your mouth open and closed.) Then work that feminine smile as often as you can!

So, girlfriend, what are YOUR favorite ways to feel more feminine? You know I love a good discussion, so leave me your comments below!


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  1. Fantastic article!…I could use all the reminders I can to smile more, hehe.

    I’m a little confused about something though…About your suggestion to lean back….I thought it was more feminine to maintain good posture and take up less space and lean forward a little bit to express interest in those talking to you. So I’ve been making an effort to sit up straight when sitting as that’s what I see a lot of other women doing too.

    …but what you’re saying also makes sense because most other women seem to be more relaxed in their deportment and movement, so leaning back would coincide with that.

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