3 Surprising Ways to Feel More Feminine

Putting on a dress and some lipstick aren’t the only ways to get into girl mode. (We women are more complex than that!) That’s why I wanted to go beyond the obvious and share 3 surprising ways to feel more feminine:

1. Lean back

transgender women leaning back

I recently attended a teleclass hosted by my friend, relationship and intimacy coach Annie Lalla. One of the participants asked how she could feel more connected with her femininity. (Yes, genetic girls struggle with this, too! A lot of women have too much masculine energy and it drives guys away.)

Annie’s advice was to “lean back”. I LOVED this and thought it was also great advice for transgender women …

First, check your body. Are you leaning forward or leaning back? Leaning forward like you are poised for action is very masculine. Get into the habit of leaning back. When you are sitting down, imagine you are a queen leaning back in her throne. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Then, check your behavior. Are you one of those girls who pushes her way through life? If so, you need to “lean back” in your actions and in your conversations with others. Try less muscling and more allowing. “Leaning back” is a great metaphor for living from your feminine.

2. Try a different perfume

transgender perfumes

The right perfume can connect you with your femininity like nothing else.

While it’s great to have a “signature scent,” don’t get stuck to an old perfume. Since scent is strongly linked to memories, your current perfume might be bringing you back to a time that doesn’t represent who you are now.

If so, it’s time to go shopping! Look for a perfume that matches the qualities you want to express. Think floral scents if you want to express your romantic side and oriental or woody scents if you want to bring out your inner seductress.

3. Smile

transgender woman smiling

Ok, hear me out before you dismiss this last tip as a cheesy platitude. There are loads of reasons why smiling is a fabulous beauty and femininity booster:

  • Smiling releases endorphins in the brain that boost your mood.
  • Smiling lifts your cheeks and gives you a natural facelift.
  • Smiling makes other people happy.
  • Smiling makes you look more feminine.

The last point is especially interesting. According to a Japanese study, smiling faces are rated as more feminine than serious faces. That’s because women and girls smile more frequently than boys and men.

There is an art to smiling, so practice in front of a mirror until you find your best smile. (Try big and small smiles and smiling with your mouth open and closed.) Then work that feminine smile as often as you can!

So, girlfriend, what are YOUR favorite ways to feel more feminine? You know I love a good discussion, so leave me your comments below!


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  1. Lucille, thank you for your site and another excellent article!

    This is a subtle thing, but I sometimes walk around with one of my hands dangling–“limp-wristed”…it makes me feel very feminine. The forearm is parallel to the floor, and the hand just dangles…I’ve noticed women do this sometimes, not all women, but some of them do it; and men NEVER do it.


  2. I tried a few jumps after taking a training class. My twin brother had tried it and encouraged (or challenged) me to try it as well. The desire to test how well I could handle fear through prayer. Mary Baker Eddy described God with seven synonyms in her major work Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. One synonym for God she gives is “Love.”. I reminded myself of the hymn which has the words: “Everlasting arms of Love are beneath, around,above. His the arms we lean upon.”. Its found in the Christian Science Hymnal. I did feel safe when I jumped out. It was a relief to see that the chute had opened properly. This was about 25 years ago. We steered our chutes in the direction pointed by a large yellow arrow on the ground. We practiced falling and rolling as the old fashioned round chutes always moved horizontally at five miles an hour. I did it about 3 times but skipped jumping the full 5 jumps I had paid for. I hope these ideas provide you some reassurance. Stuart Milne

  3. Lucille~I am a mid 20s trans girl and been on hormones for awhile now:)) live full time 24/7 as female and i LUV it!! I am pretty much passable all the time but i ALWAYS am looking for ways to feminize even more!!
    Recently i started wondering if ~ I was to do my make up like “drag queen style~i.e.~EXtreme Contouring and highlighting and letting my make up sit/Cook first b4 blending(~methods drag queens use..
    Do you think it would be more effective for us trans girls to use such extreme methods for make up such as this or to use the “Same methods G.G.’s use in everyday 15min make up regimens..??
    HOrmones have changed the fatt redistribution in my face causing it to Feminize alot and luckily im younger So,that also helped in my favor alot too..:)
    NEways my question is do you think trans girls should spend 3 hours applying make up the way drag queens do or do you think it looks more Fem to just do a quick everyday 15min Genetic girls face regimen??
    I Would GREATLY APPRECIATE your advice on this topic?? thanxxx jessca

    • Hi Jessica!

      Wow, you look like a Barbie doll – I’m not sure there is much I can tell you! ;)

      In my opinion, natural makeup is a lot more flattering for the daytime. It’s fine to go all-out at night when you want to turn heads, but generally speaking, if you do your makeup like a drag queen, you’re going to look like … a drag queen.

      You are lucky to have youth and beauty on your side! Enjoy it! :)


  4. Practicing your smiling technique is really great advice. I’ve often caught my daughter, now a ten year old, looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, practicing various facial expressions which invariable show up in conversations with her parents. You know, like the classic eye roll,etc. Everyone just thinks that young girls are born with all those expressions just because they’re girls, but no, they practice them, much to the chagrin of their parents. By the time they are young women, it’s just second nature, so you only think it’s spontaneous. And guys, they have no idea that that flirty smile is a highly practiced secret weapon.

  5. Just the thought of being with my friends as Lena,makes my feminine image so complete.As I sit here typing this note to you, tears come to my eyes I realize that I am a complete woman,even if my body says I am not. I am so happy that I am what I choose to be.

  6. Hi Lucille

    Recently, when I am travelling I all take some nightgowns to feel as woman in the night.
    Here you are same pictures.
    Thanks for all.
    Best regards

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