I realize this might sound harsh, but I have to say it …

More often than not, when I am speaking with a TG woman, I feel like I am speaking with a MAN. It has nothing to do with the way she looks – or even the sound of her voice. It’s the WAY she communicates.

Learning how to communicate like a woman is important. If you look feminine but speak like a guy, you’re going to send mixed signals to people. You’ll also miss out on the chance to connect with GG’s on a true girl-to-girl level.

There are a lot of differences between male and female brains and this has a huge impact on transgender communication.

Here are some of the differences between guy-speak and girl-speak:

• Men tend to be more direct and task-oriented in their communication. They use their words for the purpose of achieving results.
• Women tend to be more “circular” and detail-oriented in their communication. They use their words for the purpose of forming relationships.
• Women speak an average of 20,000 words per day vs. men who speak an average of 7,000 words per day.

Here are 3 way to feminize your communication:

1. Talk more

Studies show that women speak three times as much a men, so the first step towards feminine communication is to open your mouth – and keep it open!

If you’re one of those people who answers questions with one word, this might take some work. Practice expanding your answers and embellishing your stories with more details. What happened before, during, and after the event? Who else was involved? How did you feel about it? (Yes, talk about your feelings, girlfriend!)

Note: This does not mean you should drone on and on about yourself. Women are also typically good listeners, so make sure you also LISTEN to the person you are speaking with.

2. Feminize your vocabulary

If you’re going to talk more, you want to use the RIGHT words to express yourself. Men and women have different vocabularies, so it’s important to incorporate feminine words into your speech. For example:

• Women tend to use more descriptive adjectives. A woman wouldn’t tell you about the “pink dress” she just bought. She’d tell you about the “sleeveless fuchsia Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress” she just maxed out her credit card on.
• Men and women use different words for the same thing. For example, a guy might call the lower abdomen the “gut” or “belly”, whereas a woman would be more likely to call it the “tummy” or “abdomen”.

To expand your feminine vocabulary, listen to women in real life, on TV, and in movies and read women’s magazines. Look for words you don’t use and incorporate a few new words into your vocabulary each week.

3. Ask more questions

Finally, since women use their words to form relationships, they tend to ask more questions. Men tend to tell, rather than ask. If a man asks a question, it’s to get down to the point.

Practice asking more questions the next time you have a conversation with somebody. Ask for more details or ask somebody how they felt about a particular situation. Not only is this more feminine, it makes the other person feel validated.

Remember, the POINT of feminine communication is to form relationships. Relationships are formed by becoming a better speaker AND listener.

Check out the video below for another good explanation on the differences between male and female communication.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. How important is feminine communication to you? Do you struggle with this or have you mastered the art of girl talk? Leave me your comments below!

Love,
Lucille