Age is a popular topic around here and I’m occasionally asked…
“Am I too old to crossdress?” or “Am I too old to transition as a transgender woman?”
My response?
NO, of course not!
Whether you are a so-called mature crossdresser – or an older MTF woman beginning her transition – it is NEVER too late to be your true female self.
I believe that the true desires or your heart are meant to be expressed – no matter how long they’ve been buried.
Is it true that your age may have an impact on hormone therapy or surgery? Yes, that’s possible. But a good doctor will guide you on your best and safest options.
The fact remains that you can transition and/or present yourself as a woman at any point in life.
In fact, embracing your feminine side can give you a whole new lease on life…
I see it all the time: People seem to grow years younger when they make the decision to be themselves fully.
Having the courage to express your true self also inspires others to do the same. The world needs more of this!
In the words of Laverne Cox:
“It is revolutionary for any trans person to choose to be seen and visible in a world that tells us we should not exist.”
I’ll say it again: You are NEVER too old to be your true female self.
So, I encourage you to take that next step and do whatever it is that you’ve been holding back on.
You deserve it. And it’s not too late!
Do you agree that age is just a number?
Now I’d love to hear from YOU on this topic…
How old were you when you decided to fully embrace your female self? (Or are you still waiting?)
Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
I have known i was transfemale since i was 4. There was no room in the world whatsoever for people like me, true to ourselves. We hid our most fundamental selves from the world that thought we were an aberration. As we aged, slowly younger transgender people began to come out.
A few of the most virulent of the same people who gender policed us all our lives and made sure we were quiet then began to accept that some children might be born transgender, and begrudgingly accepted them. But they then told us older people that we couldn’t possibly be transgender like the valid “younger” trans girls, because we had lived for so long in the wrong body. So long through a life that left deep self harm scars on our bodies. Disabilities through repeated suicide attempts. Yeah, we were so wrong. Just because we entered horrific, disfiguring puberties in an era were there were no understanding specialists, no GnRH agonists, no one even amongst those who gave us life who would be remotely understanding that we were not whom they deigned to see and so presented a mask to the world for our survival.
There is even a small subgroup of young trans women who hold that we are wrong and are simply the invalid transgender pretenders and mere fetishists owing to our age. WTF? None of this was ever remotely sexual for me. Indeed crossdressing was impossible: it made me utterly, abjectly miserable no matter how many times i tried to find respite in it. All it did was let me taste for a few hours a state where i knew i could not stay, often leaving me howling in a fits of grief on all fours at crossdressing events, grief that so wracked my body with paroxysmal sobs of anguish that i just wanted to dash my head against the nearest brick wall to smash myself out of consciousness and halt the unbearable pain that i had let slip, something i indeed did on one occasion towards the end of my experimentation with crossdressing.
As someone who has found her tribe in kink, i have a few fetishes myself. None of them involve feminization. I know precisely what a fetish looks and feels like. My gender dysphoria was universes removed from my kink and fetish.
I was 53 when i said no more. I began HRT at 54. At 55 i underwent facial feminization. The surgeons used a photo of me taken when i was 10 years old and aged it in software as though i had had a female puberty. It restored the shape of my eyes and jaw that i remember as a little child, when i at least held the comforting phatasy that somehow things would sort themselves out and i would wake up as a girl one day, or that science would turn me into a girl. That has been extremely helpful.
Last October I underwent my Geschlechtsangleichend Operation (that’s SRS in English, but i hate the English term “Sex Reassignment”. Nothing is reassigned. In German we call it a “Gender alignment operation”. But Anzugleichen is a word that bears a connotation of bringing consonance to two formerly dissonate things. So one could translate the German term “Gender Consonance-bringing procedure).
All of this has brought me much peace.
I am hoping to undergo voice surgery. I hate my voice. I am constantly misgendered.
Is age just a number? Maybe. I will now live to see our children grow to adults, which i wouldn’t have done would i have gone ahead with the suicide i meticulously planned and prepared for when i was 53. That would not have failed, and i was saved when i accidentally tipped over the flask and spilt the lethal mixture i had prepared along Dutch euthanasia guidelines. The universe was telling me something and my accident gave me pause to realize that i would hurt my partner and children more by doing away with myself rather than transitioning. All of this is wonderful.
But i still feel so much grief when i see younger women enjoying each other’s company. I simply cannot sit in the same room as a woman who is breastfeeding, as happens in restaurants. The thought that i might have nurtured our little ones from my own breast if i would have transitioned earlier is just too, too much to bear.
Attached is my photo with my darling partner of 23 years.
You make a beautiful couple. I am so happy for you that things are working out. It seems strange to say that since you would think getting along and falling in love in one of the most natural things and yet sometimes it ends up becoming a lifelong struggle filled with pain, anger, and anguish. It is success stories like yours that give the rest of us hope and the strength to keep fighting for what we know is right.
Be well and stay safe.
J.D.
What a story and now your happy. You and your partner look great. Thanks for sharing. I’m lucky because my partner and children accept the way I am and are supportive of me being me. It’s been hard though getting to that point and most of all accepting myself.
I have known i was transfemale since i was 4. There was no room in the world whatsoever for people like me, true to ourselves. We hid our most fundamental selves from the world that thought we were an aberration. As we aged, slowly younger transgender people began to come out.
A few of the most virulent of the same people who gender policed us all our lives and made sure we were quiet then began to accept that some children might be born transgender, and begrudgingly accepted them. But they then told us older people that we couldn’t possibly be transgender like the valid “younger” trans girls, because we had lived for so long in the wrong body. So long through a life that left deep self harm scars on our bodies. Disabilities through repeated suicide attempts. Yeah, we were so wrong. Just because we entered horrific, disfiguring puberties in an era were there were no understanding specialists, no GnRH agonists, no one even amongst those who gave us life who would be remotely understanding that we were not whom they deigned to see and so presented a mask to the world for our survival.
There is even a small subgroup of young trans women who hold that we are wrong and are simply the invalid transgender pretenders and mere fetishists owing to our age. WTF? None of this was ever remotely sexual for me. Indeed crossdressing was impossible: it made me utterly, abjectly miserable no matter how many times i tried to find respite in it. All it did was let me taste for a few hours a state where i knew i could not stay, often leaving me howling in a fits of grief on all fours at crossdressing events, grief that so wracked my body with paroxysmal sobs of anguish that i just wanted to dash my head against the nearest brick wall to smash myself out of consciousness and halt the unbearable pain that i had let slip, something i indeed did on one occasion towards the end of my experimentation with crossdressing.
As someone who has found her tribe in kink, i have a few fetishes myself. None of them involve feminization. I know precisely what a fetish looks and feels like. My gender dysphoria was universes removed from my kink and fetish.
I was 53 when i said no more. I began HRT at 54. At 55 i underwent facial feminization. The surgeons used a photo of me taken when i was 10 years old and aged it in software as though i had had a female puberty. It restored the shape of my eyes and jaw that i remember as a little child, when i at least held the comforting phatasy that somehow things would sort themselves out and i would wake up as a girl one day, or that science would turn me into a girl. That has been extremely helpful.
Last October I underwent my Geschlechtsangleichend Operation (that’s SRS in English, but i hate the English term “Sex Reassignment”. Nothing is reassigned. In German we call it a “Gender alignment operation”. But Anzugleichen is a word that bears a connotation of bringing consonance to two formerly dissonate things. So one could translate the German term “Gender Consonance-bringing procedure).
All of this has brought me much peace.
I am hoping to undergo voice surgery. I hate my voice. I am constantly misgendered.
Is age just a number? Maybe. I will now live to see our children grow to adults, which i wouldn’t have done would i have gone ahead with the suicide i meticulously planned and prepared for when i was 53. That would not have failed, and i was saved when i accidentally tipped over the flask and spilt the lethal mixture i had prepared along Dutch euthanasia guidelines. The universe was telling me something and my accident gave me pause to realize that i would hurt my partner and children more by doing away with myself rather than transitioning. All of this is wonderful.
But i still feel so much grief when i see younger women enjoying each other’s company. I simply cannot sit in the same room as a woman who is breastfeeding, as happens in restaurants. The thought that i might have nurtured our little ones from my own breast if i would have transitioned earlier is just too, too much to bear.
Attached is my photo with my darling partner of 23 years.
I’ had these feelings since I was 5-6yo. I am now a 69yo woman of trans experience and have been transitioning for the last 3 years, and on HRT for 5 years. I am now the happiest girl with my style and my choices. I have had breast surgery, and love my new breasts. As you have said many times, one is never too old to live an authentic life
I’m 40+ now and my response as to if you are ever old to transition is “never.” But I should like to qualify my answer in ways that others might choose not to tell. There are 3 factors which one might like to consider: (1) Are you passable in your chosen gender? Be honest. If you are MtF ans built like a brick, the answer may be “no.” (2) Consider if you want children in the future and how this is going to happen. (3) The third point might be hard to swallow, but it needs to be said. Deuteronomy 22:5 (KJV) — “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.” As I said, these points are rarely raised as they may make some uncomfortable.
I can see where your 3rd point might be a problem for some but for those of us that don’t believe in a particular God or a particular religion, it means nothing to us.
If trying to follow laws from the Old Testament, then let’s not forget to stone to death our rebellious sons outside the city and put sinners to death by hanging them from a tree as it says in Deuteronomy 21:18-23. Just saying that if trying to keep the law, then keep the whole law.
I knew at age 8, I use to lay in bed when mom told me it was time to go to bed.
and just cry because I did not understand why I was “different” from my cousin and mom and all my female family.
my egg cracked when I started taking moms clothes and stuff started buying makeup at age 15-16 and I finally came out with my wife
which BTW supports me and my decision and in fact we share clothes lol
I am a small tall person weight is 152 and 6′ size 8 pants med panties and a B cup bra … starting HRT in March and age… PFFT age is nothing but a reminder to get busy and enjoy yourself I am now in my 40’s and I do wish I would have started and was brave enough early on but, alas that was a different time people are a bit more understanding today.
thank you Lucille !!!
Hi Lucille,
Yet another interesting article.
I started mild dressing as a child gradually progressing from just wearing sisters or mums panties to full cross dressing in my young 20’s. I was always happy and content in femme form although petrified I would be found out.
This continued for years even though married by now and with a child. I had to be very careful that my daughters didn’t find out about my longing to be female or my dressing habits.
I’ve been married over fifty years now to the same lovely lady, we are happy, I would be happier if I could now live full time as Joanna. I would loved to have transitioned but that would have made my life a lie. It would also mean a divorce and not seeing or having contact with my family.
I’m now 78 years young and still greatly enjoy dressing either to go out with friends or just to stay home, I’ve no plans to stop putting on one of my lovely dresses, spend an hour of so doing make-up and brushing my wig even if just sitting & chatting.
Started at 12 yrs old.went thru the usual things, came out in the 70,s Went thru another bout of doubt, but in my 50s, i decided it wasnt me I presented all the time, so i appeared as my femme self outwardly I am 70 now and feel like m am also married to a very understanding loving gen girl I am so lucky
Finally broke the hold of my internal transphobia in my mid-50s & are now 2 years into my transition both medically and socially. I have genuinely never felt more accepted, more welcomed, more myself. I’m healthier mentally and physically. Damn, I not only feel younger apparently I look younger!