Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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Hi Lucille,
When you say you want to stand out, you aren’t totally true. There are easy ways to stay out and be noticed in any crowd immediately, such as wearing miniskirt with fishnets, applying extra-bright makeup and so on. But you don’t want to stand out in a negative way and neither transgender girl should desire such attraction (unless she means to advertise that she’s hot and is looking for a sex partner)…
I don’t think I can ever pass. I go out at times. I know that when I blend in (not hide myself under burka, but rather wear what’s appropriate for the event, I create a better image of myself and our community and I have much more pleasant experience and communications with both men and women along the way.
i would rather blend in at the moment. sticking out will come later on in my tramsformation when i have more confidence and comfortability.
I think it depends on the situation. When I go out en femme to do regular things, such as going to the store or the gas station, I’m trying to blend in, because I just want to make my purchase and go. But when I go out to have a good time, when my hair and makeup are done, my heels and my short skirts are showing off my gorgeous legs, and I’m getting looks because I’m sexy and I know it, I’m definitely trying to be noticed! I stand out because my attitude makes me attractive. I’m a beautiful woman, and I let that shine through.
Hi same as me look sexy show men what a fine looking sexy woman you are go for it
Well, as some have already infered, there is standing out and standing out! No matter were i am going or what i am doing i try to present accordingly, especially if going out in public, the ‘trick’ is to not make anyone need to look twice, the first impression they see must say ‘FEMALE’. When i go out daytime shopping etc i wear non decript hair piece,tone down the makeup, trousers or jeans and sensible shoes, and i never get a second look. However when we go out on a party night, then its party frock, strong (not over the top) makeup,heels and hose. Saturday for Halloween party it was ott everything, disappointing then when three of us so dressed walked down the main street and never got a second look from anyone!! oh well, you can’t even shock when you want to it seems, but then i do live in u.k.
You wrote… “But lately, I’ve been wondering …Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal? Does your girly self share this desire?”
Like most women, I have the feminine ‘look at me’ desire… I’d love my efforts at dress, makeup and feminine posture & movement to be appreciated and silently ask..…. ‘Don’t you think I look pretty / sexy / feminine / a woman, today’…?
But I won’t pass for a woman so it’s the never-ending struggle to find my place between ridicule and being accepted as a woman. I won’t find that acceptance publicly so I settle for the friends I know who are supportive and understanding. I want my feminine time to be relaxed and enjoyable, not confrontational with a ‘screw you, this is who I am’ attitude.
To publicly blend in unnoticed is a poor substitute. I want to know and live my femininity so much more than i do now.
It’s true that the desire to stand out is part of the femenine nature. However, at the beginning of our journey as women,the ability of blending in gives us more confidence and helps us grow.
Later, I agree, we should stand out depending on the occasion and always showing our best of our femenine side.
Blend in. My personality has always been the quiet, shy type. I do not like being out in front on anything. Just because I wear makeup and dress in an elegant way does not make me desire to be standing out. Any way its the quiet ones you have to watch for as Sherlock Holmes would say. Seriously tho I have learned I can be much more effective in the background. It is a matter of my personality and my comfort level.
Jinian,
You are so beautiful that there is no way you will ever “blend in”. You will always stand out in a croud as a beautiful lady.
I have always considered myself as a classy lady. I dress the part 24/7, Yes I wear sexy night clothing. I have found out that people accept me as a classy woman most anywhere I go. I don’t get the stares anymore. I act the part I have chosen for the rest of my life and would like to just be myself and blend into my community and church. My husband has been a big help in directing me in the rights and wrongs of lady behavior. GRS Feb 2012.
@Jinian: I like your views on this too and I don’t like to be out in front on anything either. I just want to blend in and just go about my everyday life.
Hello Jinian,
I have a similar personality and view, however, sometimes I may push the envelope just a bit.
well I try to blend in but the way I dress I stand out like a sore thumb mostly because of who I am every one basically knows me where I live even I don’t know who they are I over pass some times like one time I got hit on by a guy one time he said I have a hot body so I over passed that day so fare in my transition I’m happy except one thing the down stairs area don’t have enough money for (SRE) (GRS) what ever you want to call it so I set up a online donation to raise some money to go towards my surgery through give forward at GofundMe
well other then that I like the way I look people talk to me more instead of avoiding me or asking some one else questions I’m just so cute well that’s what people have bean telling me lately so yah I don’t blend in