It’s not easy being a crossdresser or transgender woman. When you add envy and comparison to the mix, it can make the journey even tougher.
The truth is, it’s all too common to fall into the comparison trap – whether it’s measuring up to cisgender women or looking at those girls who are further along in their MTF transitions.
Feeling jealous or envious every now and then is perfectly normal. But it doesn’t exactly feel great, does it? Plus, it can hinder your progress towards your own goals.
So, how can you manage these emotions? In this blog post on male to female tips, I’ll share 5 strategies to help you conquer envy and comparison.
1. Recognize That You Don’t See the Whole Picture
It’s easy to feel inadequate when scrolling through seemingly flawless Instagram photos. Social media can be a breeding ground for envy, but remember these two important things:
- Most people present an idealized version of themselves online. Those filtered photos may not accurately reflect their true appearance.
- You have no insight into what’s happening behind the scenes. Even those with seemingly perfect lives have their own issues and insecurities.
Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself scrolling through social media!
2. Let Envy Inspire You
Envy is a sign that someone has something you want for yourself, and that’s not a bad thing. Instead of letting envy make you feel down, use it as a source of inspiration.
Set achievable goals and direct your energy toward reaching them. Taking positive action feels incredible, and it can be a powerful way to turn envy into motivation.
3. Get Out and Live Your Life
If you find yourself spending too much time on social media or passively observing others, it can easily lead to negative thought patterns.
Simply put, you need to spend less time in your own head and more time enjoying your fabulous life!
When you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s less room for obsessive comparison.
4. Surround Yourself with Positivity
Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?
Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.
I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets, such as Meetup groups, support groups, or online communities that uplift your spirits.
5. Appreciate Yourself
Remember this: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” To overcome envy, shift the focus back to what makes you special, unique, and beautiful.
There’s no finite supply of beauty or success in the world, so keep reminding yourself of your strengths and attributes.
Is this advice clichéd? Perhaps, but it works!
How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?
Feeling envious or making comparisons is normal, but the sooner you shift the focus back to your own life and goals, the better.
Because, girlfriend, you are amazing just the way you are!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
No point to me to be envious or jealous, and if I was concerned about comparisons I would never have gotten rid of my dysphoria. While I wear a size 8 to 10 bottom, I’m an XL or larger on top. My shoulder width is 2 inches larger than the average male my age and 4 inches larger than the average female my age. I’ve learned a few of the clothing tricks to divert attention from my shoulders to lower down, but I fully expect to be misgendered and am always thrilled when it’s overlooked and people are polite and/or curtious enough to address me as miss or maam. I do my best and it’s good enough for me. I’m not in a contest with anyone.
I don’t wear a wig or makeup other the lipstick now and again, last time I wore heels was a year ago, but I still like to wear a dress or skirt and jumper, also almost every time I wear a brasier that’s padded, I feel comfortable wearing women’s clothes withou going all in as I don’t want to offend my wife who understands what I’m like, but what I’m saying , how can I help her feel more relaxed with me dressed as a female
There is no reason to be envious of others. I believe we are all blessed with an amount of different talents, skills, knowledge, character, abilities and beauty, whether inner or outward. There are areas you excel and others where you fall short. It’s the same for everyone. Realize that each person, in the right situation, will have their chance to shine. Instead of envy, (which leads to jealousy) let’s admire one another’s attributes.
I remember finishing my makeup and thinking what’s the point !! I look nothing like I want to look like ..I’m 52 and trying to look 22, Reality matching the two worlds the one in my mind and the one in the mirror!
After resenting how good they all look and abusing myself…i realized
when I shave my body moisturize, nail varnish make up, etc I love myself and look after my health and I am more content, so that has to be worth pursuing, being my best and letting them be an inspiration to me rather than a reason to purge everything and stay an unhappy man
Thank you Lucille for time you take to make this a success. It has been only a couple months that I haven’t felt inferior in my walk.