Being a gender non-conforming person comes with its challenges, and adding envy or comparison into the mix can make things even harder — especially for crossdressers and transgender women.
It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, whether you’re comparing yourself to cisgender women or others further along in their MTF transitions.
And while feeling envious now and then is completely normal, it doesn’t exactly feel great, does it? Worse yet, it can slow down your progress toward your own goals.
So, how do you handle these feelings? In this blog post, I’ll share 5 simple male to female tips to help you overcome envy and comparison and stay focused on your journey.
1. Recognize That You Don’t See the Whole Picture
It’s easy to feel inadequate when scrolling through seemingly flawless Instagram photos. Social media can be a breeding ground for envy, but remember these two important things:
- Most people present an idealized version of themselves online. Those filtered photos may not accurately reflect their true appearance.
- You have no insight into what’s happening behind the scenes. Even those with seemingly perfect lives have their own issues and insecurities.
Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself scrolling through social media!
2. Let Envy Inspire You
Envy is a sign that someone has something you want for yourself, and that’s not a bad thing. Instead of letting envy make you feel down, use it as a source of inspiration.
Set achievable goals and direct your energy toward reaching them. Taking positive action feels incredible, and it can be a powerful way to turn envy into motivation.
3. Get Out and Live Your Life
If you find yourself spending too much time on social media or passively observing others, it can easily lead to negative thought patterns.
Simply put, you need to spend less time in your own head and more time enjoying your fabulous life!
When you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s less room for obsessive comparison.
4. Surround Yourself with Positivity
Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?
Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.
I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets, such as Meetup groups, support groups, or online communities that uplift your spirits.
5. Appreciate Yourself
Remember this: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” To overcome envy, shift the focus back to what makes you special, unique, and beautiful.
There’s no finite supply of beauty or success in the world, so keep reminding yourself of your strengths and attributes.
Is this advice clichéd? Perhaps, but it works!
How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?
Feeling envious or making comparisons is normal, but the sooner you shift the focus back to your own life and goals, the better.
Because, girlfriend, you are amazing just the way you are!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I just wanted to say Lucille you are my true friend forever amen please trust Lucille because she knows everything about being a real true woman so thank you Lucille for believing in me and keep in touch love Patrick
Truth is I’m not a real woman inside or outside I’m really a true man and I’m very proud of that. I would never want to be a woman.let woman be woman and man be men . Lucille sorry about bothering you. I’m totally proud and very happy being who I am pure one hundred percent man. Thank you
Really complicated
I wanna thank you Lucille for believing in me and being a very good freind to me im so thankful im so happy and very thankful to be a beautiful woman always and forever amen we women rule forever please publish me in any book you want too Lucille im really proud of myself and to be a beautiful woman is really change my life for the better thank you Lucille my true girl freind
I love like all your stuff .your totally awesome you can publish me any book you want too proud to be a beautiful woman always and forever amen this is a picture of me now after having my male to female sex change last year in February of 2016
I am into my 6th month of hrt and well on my way to becoming a female. It has been an amazing journey so far, but not without its challenges. Changing my name as well as gender status all takes time. Also, my family does not consider me as being alive. They totally reject the new me. I thought about it all, but I realized what I was doing was foremost in my thoughts. I spent too many years in a body that was not the real me. My ex views my transition as being selfish. It may be, but it was a life or death situation. Would I do again? Absolutely! I love ❤️ the new me and look forward toward to what the future brings.
I felt lacking my first time out in public as a lady and this picture was taken just before I left to go “outside”, but got complements on my look and sorry for the picture quality. Look forward to all your honest comments and please have fun as I am now darlings 🙂
I deal with envy everyday, yet I look at CIS gender women as role models, as well. I admired my older sister when I was very young, I wanted to be her, dress like her, etc. She was always pretty and got a lot of attention. I struggled with my identity all my life. Once I even met a younger married woman who I had an affair with, who wanted to dress me up like her. Since she knew my family, I turned down her offer, and later ended our relationship. It was scary at the time. But how I wish I would have had the experience. It may have been something so wonderful. I’ve had several CIS gender females who’ve given my makeovers and even went out clubbing with them. It was fun but they were not the type of people I would keep as friends. For years I resisted attention from men, but they were more open to a long term relationship. I’ve been in a few of them, but have finally found the right guy for me. I’ve not been happier.
I Generally don’t care how much better others look than me. However, there are times when people out there that like to try to tear me down. That is where I get feeling like this. So I just block then from Facebook!
I just talk to me therapist she always listens to me and supports and it really help to see thing in a more realistic way and spending time with my horse also helps