Do you ever compare yourself to cisgender women? Or girls who are further along on their feminine journeys?
Have you ever looked at somebody else’s life or looks and thought… why can’t I have that?
If so, you’re not alone.
It’s only human to feel jealous or envious from time to time.
But it sure doesn’t feel good! And it can keep you from reaching your own goals.
So how can you deal with these feelings?
Read on to discover 5 ways to overcome envy and comparison.
1. Realize that you don’t see the full picture
It’s easy to feel inadequate when looking at somebody’s flawless photos on Facebook. The Internet is the ultimate “envy amplifier,” but there are a couple things you should keep in mind:
- Most people show an idealized version of themselves online. The photos you’re looking at might be Photoshopped or use flattering filters. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just know they’re not a reflection of somebody’s 24/7 reality.
- You have no idea what’s happening behind the scenes. Everybody has problems and struggles, and for all you know, they might be dealing with their own feelings of insecurity.
Remember that the next time you scroll through social media!
2. Be inspired
When we envy somebody, it’s a sign that they have something we want for ourselves. That in itself isn’t a bad thing.
Instead of letting somebody else’s good looks or success make you feel bad, let it inspire you to reach for the same.
Set a realistic goal and channel your energy towards achieving it. Taking positive action feels amazing, so this can be a great way to turn things around.
3. Get a life
This might sound harsh, but I say it with love.
If you find yourself spending a lot of time sitting around and comparing yourself to others, it’s easy to get caught in negative thought loops.
Quite simply, you need to spend less time in your head and more time out living your fabulous life!
If you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s no time to obsess about others. Problem solved!
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?
Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.
I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets. Explore Meetup groups, support groups, or positive forums or Facebook groups.
5. Appreciate yourself
One of my favorite sayings goes:
Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.
The best way to overcome envy is to shift the focus back to yourself and everything that makes YOU special, unique, and beautiful.
It’s not like there’s a limited supply of beauty or success out there, so keep reminding yourself of your own strengths and attributes.
Is this trite advice? Maybe. Does it work? ABSOLUTELY.
How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?
It’s normal to feel jealous or envious from time to time. But the sooner you get over it and put the focus back on your own life and goals, the better!
Because the truth is, girlfriend, YOU are amazing!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it?
Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I just wanted to say Lucille you are my true friend forever amen please trust Lucille because she knows everything about being a real true woman so thank you Lucille for believing in me and keep in touch love Patrick
Truth is I’m not a real woman inside or outside I’m really a true man and I’m very proud of that. I would never want to be a woman.let woman be woman and man be men . Lucille sorry about bothering you. I’m totally proud and very happy being who I am pure one hundred percent man. Thank you
Really complicated
I wanna thank you Lucille for believing in me and being a very good freind to me im so thankful im so happy and very thankful to be a beautiful woman always and forever amen we women rule forever please publish me in any book you want too Lucille im really proud of myself and to be a beautiful woman is really change my life for the better thank you Lucille my true girl freind
I love like all your stuff .your totally awesome you can publish me any book you want too proud to be a beautiful woman always and forever amen this is a picture of me now after having my male to female sex change last year in February of 2016
I am into my 6th month of hrt and well on my way to becoming a female. It has been an amazing journey so far, but not without its challenges. Changing my name as well as gender status all takes time. Also, my family does not consider me as being alive. They totally reject the new me. I thought about it all, but I realized what I was doing was foremost in my thoughts. I spent too many years in a body that was not the real me. My ex views my transition as being selfish. It may be, but it was a life or death situation. Would I do again? Absolutely! I love ❤️ the new me and look forward toward to what the future brings.
I felt lacking my first time out in public as a lady and this picture was taken just before I left to go “outside”, but got complements on my look and sorry for the picture quality. Look forward to all your honest comments and please have fun as I am now darlings 🙂
I deal with envy everyday, yet I look at CIS gender women as role models, as well. I admired my older sister when I was very young, I wanted to be her, dress like her, etc. She was always pretty and got a lot of attention. I struggled with my identity all my life. Once I even met a younger married woman who I had an affair with, who wanted to dress me up like her. Since she knew my family, I turned down her offer, and later ended our relationship. It was scary at the time. But how I wish I would have had the experience. It may have been something so wonderful. I’ve had several CIS gender females who’ve given my makeovers and even went out clubbing with them. It was fun but they were not the type of people I would keep as friends. For years I resisted attention from men, but they were more open to a long term relationship. I’ve been in a few of them, but have finally found the right guy for me. I’ve not been happier.
I Generally don’t care how much better others look than me. However, there are times when people out there that like to try to tear me down. That is where I get feeling like this. So I just block then from Facebook!
I just talk to me therapist she always listens to me and supports and it really help to see thing in a more realistic way and spending time with my horse also helps