“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
Loading ...
I have been stopped and told so often how much a woman would love to be herself as I am expressing myself. we are not alone in having difficulty expressing our real needs. it’s a commonn human thing.
Passing is a big thing for me and that’s why I haven’t been out in public yet, I want to. I live in a small town and have no tg friends to go out with so that makes it even harder. Thanks Lucille you have been great with all your information.
Thanks Paula
love all the girl’s ccomments. shopping n jeans and wearring a pony tail is so right on. and red nails and cute comfy flats and clear or black nylon knee hi’s finish the feeling of fitting in.
i’m 6’7″ and a big girl much like the wnba’s basketball playrrs
and Venus and her sister and and other big girls. I stand out no matter what I sm wearing. thank the goddesses for all the tall and big girals we have in our society.
btw, the more you do go out the more you realize how few people are looking at anyone.
I do not venture out of the house dressed. However, that may change, as I have met someone who is non-judgementsal, and who given time, may prove to be supportive. We are still in the early stages of getting to know one another, and she has not seen me dressed yet. I feel certain that day will come, and when it does, I suspect she will probably want to help me with makeup and my hair. (When she was younger, she used to be a high fashion model).
Found out the hard way years ago. Be truthful about your dressing and get it out now. If she excepts you as Elizabeth then it will open a whole new world for you. I love not having to hide my femme self. My new partner of 17 years has heped me to emerge and be the girl I always was. If my first wife had accepted me life would have been good but was 15 years of torment and heart ache.
Honesty with your prospective new partner is best, a little heart ache now if she doesn’t accept you is worth it in the long run
Take care of yourself
Amanda
great question!for me ive often thought im passable,because of my natural curly long hair and femme mannerisms. not extreme over the top type like the diva show girls.(no offense! ) but just the ability to except me for me.and to bad for the rest of the world who does not get it.i now know as an over 40 t woman we do not all look like the latest hollywood it girl. i feel more comfort in my jeans and keds,when out on weekends shopping or lunch and dressing for a night out clothes that suit us over 40,classy styles that are current.this might not make me passable but thats ok!i know who and what i am and if everyone else knows thats ok too! we have to accept it.real is real y’all.
Passing …………Hummmmmmm………Let’s see , why should you feel like you have to PASS ,to be able to express yourself to society because those poor saps don’t understandand ,and further more don’t EVEN care to……. Frankly , doesn’t make a lot of sense……..BUT , being the minority that we are , we have to meet them 75% of the way , because they absolutley won’t have it any other way…..As you can probably tell , I’m really not THAT fond of the word PASS and or PASSING……..What I’m wondering is when the general public is going to wake up to the fact that we’re here , and we’re NOT going away……..Lindsey
Bravo, Lindsey!
I am a post-op Ts woman. Being 6’5″, I kind of stand out. But I dress similiar what other women dress in my area.
When I first transitioned I worried about passing. But since time has gone on I worry about it less, and less. Being on HRT, helps by smothing my face out. Plus distribution of fat to my hips,and butt.
Most people really don’t notice other people all that much. But when I do make eye contact, I always give them a smile. That seems to relieve all the pressure.
Be careful around little kids, “They Know”, Not really fooling them. An they will voice opinions. I don’t go into clubs or bars.
Try to just go about your business. If shopping slow down,and check everything out. Men usually go into a store, get what they want , and leave. But you need to browse.
After 4 years, still having trouble with my voice. I don’t have much range in my voice. But I keep working on it.
HI LUCILLE, I DO BELIEVE WHAT ARE SAYING AND NOT TO OVER DRESS, MAKEUP, HAIR,SHOES.YOU DO HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF.I NOW CAN GO OUT JUST ABOUT WHERE I CHOOSE PROVIDING THE CONFIDENCE IS THERE. I WOULD HAVE SENT A PIC BUT HAVING TROUBLE DOWN LOADING ANYWAY IT TOOK ME SEVERAL YEARS TO GAIN MY FEMME LOOKS AND CONFIDENCE. WE ALL CAN USE HELP IN ANY DEGREE.I DO LUV BEING FEMME. THANK YOU JAKKLYN