“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I think I pass enough to start living full time. For me it was building my confidence and I have a friend that is helping me and I’m happy to say it working
You are right Lucille,
When I was young it was easy to pass. A change of clothes and ribbons in my hair was all I needed to be a reasonably pretty girl. then as i neared 30 it took a bit of effort but was still possible. As I neared 40 I gave up trying.
I never did really care much to pass for a girl, it was fun and exciting but not may goal (well, most of the time!). I just like women’s clothes. I like the choice of style, color, and fabrics. I like being a bit of a rebel. I like to show off a bit sometimes. I like the attention. and who doesn’t like the feel of silk panties against our most sensitive bits?
I am in girl clothes about half the time and I work in a government office with a strong non-discrimination policy so I get to wear dresses and heels to work one day and boots and jeans the next.
Perfect!
Thanks for all you are doing for us.
Love,
Jin
You know I just don’t want to play role I don’t want to compete with the wemon I just love the feeling of the cloths it relaxes me. Just like wemon say let me slip into somthing more comefortible. Well that is the way I feel l want to slip in to something more comefortible. Then relax. I feel better that way. I don’t want to compete.
Tammy
I used to think my goal in life was to pass 100% but that changed some years ago. I live 40% as Christine and in most situations I get by OK. Not that good in high summer or under bright lights so I adjusted my life style accordingly and feel much better for that. Confidence plays a huge part and once I accepted that lots of people accepted Christine for who she is, my outlook on this part of me changed so much for the better. I now think you can strive too hard but it’s better to try to be who you are.
I love it when I feel that I have been accepted as being a woman. If lets me relax even more which in turn lets more of my femme side out. I am always critical of my appearance. I dress very casual and try to fit in. I have gone to shopping centers and no one even batted an eye. I try to keep the right posture, dress accordingly and even seem to make all the right gestures as a woman and the more I do that, the more natural it has become. I believe I am able to even sound femme when I speak. However, sometimes when I am in male mode, that feminine voice just naturally pops out. About 85% of the time I am Danika but that 15% of the time when I am Dan is very uncomfortable. It took a lot of trial and error and was somewhat costly to get to this point but I believe that it was very much worth it. My only regret is that I kept all this bottled up inside of me for so long. I think that if you take care of yourself, dress appropriately and have good mannerisms then the rest is easy. Don’t go overboard on make-up and make sure that everything you do and everything you wear is age appropriate and you will be amazed at the results.
I am not a 24/7/365 femme. I only dress and go out occasionally. At 6-3, 260 and old, I’ve be described as looking like “a has-been linebacker in drag” more than once.
Still, when I dress like a normal “soccer mom” rather than a CD hooker, most people pay me no mind when I go out shopping, etc., and I feel “pretty” in my mind. I blend in even better when out in public with a group of other gurlz.
Sure I can dress “hot to trot” when going out to trans-friendly clubs or parties, but again, I’m blending into that environment.
However, when someone does “give me the evil eye” or makes a snide remark, just loud enough I can hear, I feel ashamed, queer ugly and it hurts.
BY THE WAY I AM 63 YEAR OLD AND I AM TRULY NOT ASHAMED OF WEARING WOMAN SATIN NYLON GRANNY PANTIES AND WOMEN LACE BRA THAT I LOVE TO WEAR ALL THE TIME PLUS I LOVE TO DRESS UP AS A WOMAN A LOT BUT PEOPLE DON’T SEE ME AS A PERSON BECAUSE ON WHAT I LOVE TO WEAR ALL THE TIME BECAUSE PEOPLE IN THIS WOLD DON’T REALLY SEE WHO YOU REALLY ARE ON THE INSIDE OF EACH PERSON IN THIS WOLD BECAUSE WE ALL IN THIS WORLD ARE HUMAN JUST LIKE EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD
I think I pass as a woman sometimes :). But working on it dearly.