“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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without major changes not gonna be passable. 6’3″ mountain man that’s been doing construction for 30 years. if I was able to get to point where they was wondering witch way I was transitioning be cool. but haven’t dressed in public. I’d like to do it at least in 2 years when I’m 50 for Halloween.be in another city. my wife knows I do but not intrigued about and doing side work while dealing with grandkids cant get away for weekend and get to experiment with make. so I still dress up with nobody to see or share with witch defeats the whole point. more passable more desired or wanted lol
It’s very important to me that I pass as a woman otherwise I feel it’s pointless dressing taking hormones wearing makeup etching. I would’ve thought that passing is the goal of us all.
I do want to pass as a woman. I am close, I now talk feminine. I wish I didn’t have facial hair. I have a machine that is suppose to get rid of it. I hope it works!
Hello Lucille. I believe that All of us Ladies care about Passing. That’s why we Dress. We want to look the Woman that is inside of us. And for some, it’s easy. and for others, it’s very frustrating. I don’t want to “Pass”. I desperately want to be a Woman. A real Woman. And I know that it’s not going to happen. So, I remain here in my closet and make the best of it. And I’m ok with it because there are some very Beautiful Crossdressers and Trans Women out there Living, not just Passing, as the Beautiful Women that they are.
Thank You for taking the time to read my “Honest Opinion”.
Luv ya all,
Daze.
AMEN Daze! You expressed my feeling precisely in every way. I agree wholeheartedly.
I too want desperately to be the beautiful woman on the outside that I am on the inside. But, sadly, I never will. My time has passed long ago and I would never be able to afford it anyway.
So, I too am just making the best of what I have.
Some authentic women and men told me that I pass as a woman, I received advice from some women, like dress in a dress with fashionable but yet feminine shoes, like ballet flats or wedges or even sandals and wear jewelry and I will look just like a woman, they already have told me that I have the perfect body size and all I need is breast forms, nobody has seen my Adam’s apple so that’s a plus and all I need to work on is sounding like a natural woman and I’ll be set, but as it goes right now I don’t care what any guy or woman has to say about myself trying to be a woman. Some authentic women are just jealous that I look better on my drunk days then their whole life, just take my aunt for an example, she’s trying to loose weight in the last 40 years I think and she has said to people that on my drunk days I look better, much sexier than she ever has, some people like myself are bless with everlasting beauty.
Is it important for me to pass as a Female? Heck yeah, although I turned 61 in June 2018; I need to improve on makeup as to applying: foundation, eyeliner & & false eyelashes. However to Marla good for you, be who you really are. I hope Marla that yourself & your best girl get to go out shopping together. I know I am size 14 in dresses, slacks, skirts so online shopping is a breeze. Dress Barn, Chadwicks, Venus, all good places to shop & return with no hassels (most retail establishments). I did get 1 odd look from a janitor while at a resteraunt while using the ladies room he was in there cleaning but I just did my business & walked out back to my table with other Trans ladies (came from a Transgender meeting) so I say get dressed up go out & have a Fun time.
Hi Lucille thanks especially for this piece about passing vs not passing.I’m at the very start of my transition from male to female. I’m 53 and whilst I am a girl on the inside and have been since 6 years old; I am not a girl on the outside. I started this year coming out because I am so tired of battling to keep the woman inside me at bay.The desire and need to pass has totally occupied me leaving me to fear transitioning. I fear it may not make me look like a woman and that
is key for me I’ve been hiding for so many years I just want the outside of me to connect and be the same as my inside . I worry this may not happen and fear the result . Your blog has helped me try to get some better perspective on my situation . Thanks Lucille
Love Suzie
Hi Lucille: Thanks for all of your help and concern for all of us girls. I have known I was a Woman since I was about 3 years old. I have dressed En-Femme all of my life. My wife is very supportive of me and wants what is best for me. I am in my 60s and have been through therapy and on hormones for about 2 years now. Our children are all grown and on their own with their own families so I have finally decided to live full time as a Woman. I just want to be my true self all of the time. I seem to be quite passable, but the only thing that matters is how I feel. Thanks for all of your help and Love for us. I hope we can meet some time in the future. You are a Dear!! Have a Wonderful Day, I AM!!!
Tootles & Love Marla 😉