I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I knew when I couldn’t do the same things my big brother could like football
I didn’t become aware of being transgendered until I was thirteen but even then didn’t know the concept. Before then I used to only ride my female cousin’s bike, played with dolls some, and tried to hang out with my older sister and her friends (I remember liking bubblegum pop and preferring to read Nancy Drew books). But my family was the typical Southern conservative type (moderate), so I always tried to do what was expected and have spent years fighting my true nature. Now that I’m older and with society in general being more open I’m gong to transition when I can afford each step. I did make a short attempt to transition in my early twenties, even was on hormones for six months, but money problems and other life events derailed my attempt. Technically I’m a gynephile transsexual, mtf, with slight bi-tendencies. The only things holding me back is social uncertainty and money issues.
I have known as far back as I can remember. My first memory is when I borrowed my sister’s clothes and knew I was a girl.
🙂 Hi, I played Barbies with my sister… off and on. Understand. It’s fun !
It was seventh grade for me when I realised how much I identified with femininity. Explored in secret during high school , but then blossomed slowly through the years afterward. These days I live a mostly feminin life with occasional androginous periods.
I was in my teens when I first put on pair of panties and bra but it wasn’t till I was 42 that I started on my Journey to become a woman I now have an a cuplooking forward to the day I became Susan all the way I have a long way to go thank you Lucille For helping me I don’t think I could do this without you
I knew that I identified much more with girls than with boys, since the age of 7. I used to be aware just how more attractive the girls’ uniforms were than the boys. Further, I strongly wished I could wear a pretty blue and white school dress and little white socks, rather than the shapeless grey boys’ shorts.
I have long felt resentful that the outfit for the male gender has traditionally been shirt and trousers, whilst ladies can have bouffant hair dos, bras/blouses and short skirts/dresses. I have passionately wanted to make an 100% transition, and I look at the helpful advice which is regularly supplied on your website as a lifesaver.
Richard xx
I was very young when I first started expressing myself as a girl, my first real realisation that something was different about me occurred when was going to school and wondering why I wasn’t wearing a dress and wasn’t going to the girls playground…I was wearing shorts and had to go to the boys playground…I was very upset and very confused…I remember the feeling of panic…obviously I did not understand gender but I knew immediately that there was something fundementally wrong with what was happening. I remember crying for a long time and being very afraid. I was a square peg and I knew there wasn’t anybody to turn to. There is a bigger story here about recognising gender dysphoria in children from a young age and how important it is to the future of the individual…I don’t think we, as a society have evolved that far yet…
Kitty x
I know the feeling, and yes you even look femme
🙂 I so agree with your story. I don’t quite relate… but to some aspects I do relate. It makes sense. This world needs to evolve a lot more !
I am a 64 year old hetrosexual male crossdresser. At age 5 I knew I was different. Played with the girls-hopscotch, skipping, house etc. I was bullied and beat up by the boys all through school. I have no interest in sports except motorcycling and hot cars. At age 7 started wear sisters clothes and at age 13 I started working part time and had money to buy my own. At age 20 started going out dressed. Between age 18 and 30 I went through 2 doctors and 2 councillors, none helped me. At 30 I met my wife, kept the dressing in secret from her. I dressed when I was away on business trips or when she went away. I wore androgynous clothing which she never picked up on. At age 53 I saw another councillor through my workplace HR who suggested I tell her, but at that time my oldest was getting married and her mother had died. We had a wedding and funeral a week apart. The guilt and anxiety were killing me, so 8 years ago at age 58 I told her. She was not accepting or understanding I saw another councillor through my family Doctor, no help as well. She did comment that over the years she picked up on the fact that I appeared to have a dual personality. She was not dealing with it very well and moved out for a bit but came back after six months. Six years ago I found another councillor who was the first one to help me, specializing in gender dysphoria she finally got me to accept who I was, what I was and to quit beating myself up with guilt and anxiety. She referred me to a gender research hospital and through testing there, x ray, ct scans and meeting with their councillors they determined areas of my brain are hardwired as female, were not fully washed with testosterone during week 8 to 13 of the fetus development.
It has been a rocky road marriage wise for the last 6 years but better in the last 2. My wife is becoming more understanding, accepting, some boundaries established, no dressing around the house, I can dress and go out whenever I want just don’t involve her. However, I can underdress and wear androgynous clothing daily (panties, bra, camisole, jeans. slacks, shirts). My shoes/boots are all womens having 2 to 3 inch heel which I hide by wearing longer leg length jeans. My clothes are out of hiding and in the closet, she does comment I have too many shoes and when bra straps are showing. My ears are pierced, hair is gone (face, chest, belly, back) via laser, she does not like this but again it is a compromise as not dressing fully (makeup, dresses/skirts, wig, breast forms etc.) around the house. I love her she has reached a place of moderate acceptance/understanding we have intimate relations and I am more relaxed, minimal anxiety, have no guilt, not angry and she loves this about me. It is a work in progress but we both believe in God, and 33 years of marriage was not easy to give up on. My adult children and oldest son’s fiance, her family, pastor, closest friends and some members in the church all know because I had courage and told them. When out dressed I use women’s washrooms, dressing rooms, eat in restaurants, shop for clothes. I dress to blend in and over the 50 odd years have only been outed twice that I know of. Through the latest councillor I now have the strength to be who I am, that if others have a problem with with crossdressing it is their problem through ignorance and lack of education in transgender issues. As it says in the Bible, “He knew us in the womb and made who we are to be”, God does not make mistakes he made me who I am and has a plan for my life, I have yet to see the whole picture. I do enjoy dressing and feeling feminine and knowing what I know now, had I been 25 again I would have transitioned but, doing it now would hurt my wife and children and completely destroy our relationship. I love them too much to do this.