I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
Another great question Lucille! Like many tg women who are older, and in closet for a long time for various reasons, (lack of awareness of trans issues and far greater intolerance in society for boys or men dressing or looking like girls especially), being biggest obstacles. Despite being attracted to girl’s clothes, and things as a child, and dressing regularly as a teenager, I thought it was bad habbit/addiction, and it was wrong, as it was and still is perceived. It was’nt until being in the closet for 25 years, ans in my mid 40’a that I knew it went beyond clothes,etc, and that I am a woman, who can’t and won’t hide it anymore, no matter what!
Thanks again, and God bless Lucille!
Marian
{{giggles}} How did you just do that so succinctly? Much better than my rambling post I just submitted 🙂
I was 13/14 when I got the urge to borrow my mothers and sisters clothes, considering it were the early sixties then, I had to do with what I could get, in secret, and after “we all know” with a lot of shame.
I remember sneaking in my sisters bedroom in the middle of the night, get some clothes, and sneak out for a walk.
That went well until I got busted so to speak. Stupid me, pretended an early night in, while the house was packed with relatives due to celebrating a birthday. Anyway my mother spotted me, going to my own bedroom wearing tights and gym-suit.
The morning after all she asked was if I wanted to be a girl, I said no, and that was it, never mention again, but she always considered me as lunatic, no support what so ever. As years later turned out she even got it in her head I wanted to have sex with her!!??. That was a boost for my relationship with her. From that moment on she was dead to me.
I grew up with sisters who were always fighting, if not one then both with me, if not with each other. Besides that, because I was working, started at 16, I paid a fee for room&food, that’s normal, but not the whole rent of the apartment, or is it?. Anyway I fled the place as soon I could at 19, until then I was gone whenever I could, out, walking, cycling what ever. Everything was better than at home.
I came out when I was 45 or so. That event was an anti-climax, nobody seemed to care or have a problem with it. So here I am, confident becoming that took me most of my life, but I am, out, free, no hassle, single, bored even dressed. Ignored by my sisters, but I ignore them too.
I work, but I don’t know why, I live but I don’t know why, I dress and I don’t know why, but I do know that I love it. It’s basically my only joy in life, and the fact I look better than my younger sisters. I just wish I could walk on heels for longer then 5 minutes. I do have size 5, and that’s the only good thing about my feet. Oh well at least I have feet.
Enjoy life, while it lasts, and do your way. I do.
Chantelle
I think I was always curious about girls things and found it easy to play with them. Around 10 or 11 I would be home alone after school and started trying some of my mom’s things. I especially liked a harem outfit she had. A little padding and some heels and I felt so cute though I’m sure I looked silly.
I knew I was differnt from the other boys when I was 10 didn’t fully start dressing up till I was almost 12 tho. I wish I would have came out about it then
mother and I:)) it’s funny but I can recall some events from my child hood as if it were only yesterday yet other events or lost to me. I recall as a child my mother and I playing in her room. we would play dress up that was my favorite game with my mother she had a pair of black high heels that I would try to wear and fall over because my feet were way too small for them she also had this big floppy pink hats that I love wearing with a pair of white cat eye sunglasses and also a yellow scarf that I Drape around my neck and shoulders that would drag the floor as i would dance listening to Aretha Franklin on the radio singing the song respect. I used my mother’s hand mirror as a microphone like I had seen on Television. I would listen to my mother sing and sing along with her. when Aretha got to the high notes mom would suddenly become quiet and I would strain my voice trying to keep up with Aretha mon would laugh so hard. we had so much fun in those days keep trying she would say you’ll get it but I never did. but it was fun just the same this would go on all day me helping my mom clean and cook but mostly getting in the way until my father got home. Once my Dad was home all play ended because he demanded my mothers full attention so my younger brother and I would entertain ourselves by watching television and playing with our toys at this time there really wasn’t anything on television that children shouldn’t see maybe outside of Bugs Bunny and Elmer fud Bugs, dressing like a girl some times. I want to say I got this in my head after watching a episode of Bewitched. In this episode Samantha the witch was pregnant with Tabatha her daughter. This must have gotten my attention because I wanted to know where babies came from so one day after my father had gone to work and mom had made breakfast and gotten my brother and I dressed and we were playing. I ask mom where Do babies come from and she told me that the babies come from the mother. and then I wanted to know where from the mother she told me from the mothers stomach. then I want to know how did they get in there this is when she told me to wait until I was older and I would know. having ran into a dead end there I decided to ask when will I have a baby this is when she told me the heartbreaking truth you are a boy! Honey. not a girl and boys don’t have babies. you see I knew I was a boy I just didn’t know about the baby’s. this is when I insisted that One day I would have a baby! mom didn’t say anything she just looked at me a little strange in retrospect my mother knew who I was before I knew .but unbeknownst to me my world had just change play time and dress-up all of that would soon go away. now mom was much too busy cooking and cleaning to play dress up and just as suddenly the big floppy hats’ the cat eye sun glasses’ the scarfs’ and shoes’ were out of my reach for a long time I thought my mother was angry at me but there was one thing left that I could still enjoy. occasionally my mother would go shopping downtown we would catch the city bus and get off downtown in front of the courthouse. from there we would make our way to the stores me holding my brothers hand and mom holding my hand all the way. mom would pick some dresses and take them into the dressing room and popout later wearing something completely different. I watch my brother as mom tried on dresses this was fun I didn’t get to dress up but I did get to watch mom modeling different dresses and shoes. But once again I must have shown too much enthusiasm and all of this ended. the next time mom went shopping my brother and I was left with a sitter Mrs. Green from down the street who must have had at least a 100 cats. Mrs. Green was a sweet lady but we didn’t like all of the cats or the Smell of her house. We didn’t like it there at all we missed mom but shortly after this mom got a job and and I started school anyway.
My first feelings date back to earliest memories around age 3. Even then I felt ashamed. Began occasional secret cross dressing around age 6. Thought I was the only one on the planet. Went full time in my 20’s many years ago.
I was about 10 I would play with my sister s toys and dolls and try on their clothing. I always dreamed that I should have been a woman with a lesbian girlfriend
This is a good topic. My mom once dressed me in a Chinese lady outfit with a mask for Halloween, when I was about three or four. She also told me (much later) then when she would be out with me in the stroller or whatever, other women would often say “What a pretty baby! What’s her name?”
I was drawn to my older sister’s baby dolls and doll carriages and there is even home movies of me trying to play with them and my sister shoving away. The next Christmas I got a Dennis the Menace doll with a little red wagon, which sorta helped.
At six or seven I remember being alone on the playground when boys played touch football or tag but my first dressing up as a girl happened when I was 12. I was delighted and anxious at the same time but kept it up, and kept it up, and kept it up….
Nowadays my only life regret is I wish I could have started my transition about a decade sooner (at least).