I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I started touching and then wearing my other’s under garments at the agree of three. I was attracted by the loo and, after touching, the feel of the wonderfully soft fabrics. I was hooked form then. I started buying my own under clothiers aged around 11 years old and soon progressed to skirts, tops and dresses. I have had two purges where I have thrown everything out – once due to feeling guilty and again after my mother discovered my secret but other than that I have never looked back. I have now just turned 50 years old and have approached my doctor to start transitioning. I have been assessed and discharged by the Community Mental Health Team (referral there has to happen as part of local health care arrangements) ad have been given the all clear for referral to the gender clinic. My doctor referred me yesterday and I am looking forward to my first appointment.
I was a bit of a late starter, I suppose, 14 yrs old. It was my sister’s 16th birthday and we had all gone for the weekend to the Disneyland hotel in S. California, just outside our home in LA’s San Fernando Valley. It was then while all were elsewhere and I was alone that I first realized the possibilities. There in the bathroom were my mother’s and sister’s bathing suits hanging to dry. Really, it was almost instinctual as I pulled my mother’s one-piece suit off and just… well, put it on. Without a thought, I remember so clearly, I pulled off tons of toilet paper to fill the suit’s 36D cups. From there, of course, all my mother’s makeup seemed just natural to try on too. To say I was excited hardly describes it. But it was when I first pressed her Avon Periwinkle Pink lipstick to my lips (yes that was the shade, will remember it to my dying day) when all came to be and I discovered my true self. With each stroke of that lipstick, I became more alive than I had ever felt. After a bit of work, blush and mascara as best as I could manage, I couldn’t believe how attractive I had become, feeling and looking just like a girl… my reflection in the mirror that of nothing but a newly discovered ingenue. It was such an amazing day, perhaps the best of my life. Ever after, I knew exactly who I was.
Hi Lucille
Thank you for asking. I think I felt I was a girl around 8-9 years old. I come from a large family with 6 sisters and 3 brothers and back in the 60’s was when I grew up. I remember getting my sisters panties and slip and trying them on feeling very excited but content wearing them. It was like I should have always worn these but couldn’t due to my religious upbringing. I would now and then try and wear the slip to bed under my pjs and have a nice sleep. I often wondered whether this was meant to be this way but never truly found out til after I got married. I had times when I was single and living by myself going out to buy sexy lingerie that I could wear under my clothes to work to make me feel more feminine. I guess I had to suppress it more until after I got married.
I remember writing a letter to myself which detailed my feelings about wanting to become a woman and how I longed to transition to become a woman. Unfortunately my wife found it and has never let it go. She was obviously not happy about it as this was never discussed when I first met her and now whenever we argue she brings it up to try and shame me. I am 54 now and still feel that I want to be the person (woman) that I should be. It would be really great to be able to do this unhindered but it is difficult without support. Would love to chat to others like me around southeast Melbourne suburbs.
Hi Sui Lin
There are support groups and individuals nearby. Email me and I will help guide you to them. shez99@hotmail.com
the urdge to dress up in womens clothes I believe was started when my great aunt dressed me up like I was her twin daughter and took a pic. for a laugh like a lot of people have done .I was 7 then I started liking female bodies and watching them smoke cigs and thinking of the smoke being inside them behind their boobs.at 10 I new that I wanted to wear girls stuff so I began to dress up and now I think I want my on boobs . so from crossdressing urges till now transitioning desires
My dad was a Hairdresser so at home we had lots of wigs in the house my be at the age of 9 or 10 I would try them on and by the age of 12 I was wearing my mums shoes and stocking and some of her under wear to.
I was born female as far as I can say. Yes I was a cute little boy if I may say so but my mother told me once she dressed me, for a while as a girl. I was a baby and I looked good to everyone so I was a precious little baby in a pretty little dress. besides I was just a baby why would I care and Mom had always wanted a little girl. Ironically I was the closest she ever got. I hung around with my big brother, my closest friend, but I play more comfortably with the girls. We played dolls and an hour later I was a cowboy. I could switch from one to the other without a thought. Who knows when I realized what I was as I was little; 2, 3 years I don’t know. I do know that I accepted all of it one day playing under my aunts baby grand piano. I could stand up under it and the thought was as real as day and I never really looked back, well maybe a little but not in a way you might think. I was black living in a conservative house. I was allowed to play house, I could wrap large pieces of material around my waist and wear skirts while I played house but I could not say that I was the girl. To admit that reality caused everyone to cringe and I was kept in my place through some strong family pressure and told always about the evils of men who acted as women. So I hid it but not always with success. I was caught on occasion and told never to do it again and I tried but that demon dress called me out every time. I have always been a woman. I dream of being a woman and every thing a woman of my generation might dream of including marriage and children. I started hormones at 20; birth control pills, strong enough to begin a slow change but not complete. I took them whenever I could manage and in time my breast started to develop and people started to notice but they never grew very large so in time they just blended in and people looked through them. I had the look though as I was very thin and according to my doctor at the time I really had a hormone imbalance and my body produced its own bit of estrogen. A lot more than it should so the little I took and the little I produced created a passable woman and it helped that I was really thin at the time. I have not changed or deviated over the years. I have a family; smart beautiful children all grown up but I would complete my transition tomorrow if I had the funds. My breast are larger today and I have lost most of the weight I gained over the last 10 years and I look enough like a girl again that some men who don’t know me sometimes flirt, some times address me as a woman and that includes some women who should know better. I was born a woman and I will die a woman you just have to ignore the little differences in between.
Well I first experimented when I was around 10 yrs old, and started putting on lipstick but was soon caught by mom. Years later, when I was 16 I used to try on bras from my mother’s laundry basket and that’s when it clicked in my brain that I felt like a girl just lacking the body to match. Since that day I have so desperately wanted to change my sex but can’t afford it. Now thanx to your program I am becoming the woman I have always wanted to be.
I also remember playing with my sister and I dressed a boy doll in the girl doll’s clothes and hairpiece. I don’t know how old I was.
My sister had a tomboy phase and that was accepted. I could not understand that she would leave pretty skirts and dresses in the wardrobe and wear t shirt and shorts.