Stepping out publicly as a woman is a powerful way to validate your female self.
In fact, I recently published a poll asking “How often do you go out in public as a woman?”
I was happy to see that the majority of my readers (transgender women and crossdressers) go out at least occasionally.
No matter how often you do it, I’m sure you can remember your first time presenting as a woman or crossdressing in public.
Since this is such an important gender-affirming step, I’d love to hear about it!
When was it? Where did you go? And what was your experience?
Please share with us in the comments below!
And if you’ve never been en femme in public, I’m sure you’ll find lots of inspiration in these stories.
As always, thank you for reading and participating!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Unleash Your Inner Woman hypnosis mini session.
Went out for a walk in my neighborhood late last night/early AM. Had on a white blouse, black pencil skirt, black hose, white peacoat, and my black heels. Never walked that far in heels before, and other than the annual Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, never will again. My little toes both have blisters!! Shoulda worn my flats. I thought I would be completely alone but there was a couple on their front porch smoking, and I think they might have recognized me because they stopped talkinv as I passed them. Who knows if I am going to get smirks or even worse next time we pass each other. A few cars were on the road, and my worst fear was, what if a police car passes and decides to stop me? Don’t want my first verbal encounter en femme to be explaining to John Q. Law that I am just walking and not prostituting or looking to break into any homes or vehicles. Next time I try a late night stroll, will try another location, and definitely will leave the heels in the car.
My wife knows about and loves my crossdressing. One day she was gone to a Drs appt here in town and her ride forgot to pick her up so she called me to come pick her up. I said ok but I have to change first. She said no just to come as I was. I nervously said ok. We live in an apartment complex. And it was time to put up or shut up. So it was down the stairs and into the car. Went cross town picked her up. She complimented me on how I was dressed. Then we went to the city park took some pics then back home. I have done this twice now. I have yet to try makeup yet but one day. This pic was taken at the park that day. The pic of me in jeans was the next week when her ride forgot her
My first time in public probably won’t be considered “public” compared to most of the stories here. But, to me it was important because in my mind I was going out as a woman.
Like most CDs/TGs, I realized I had a feminine side when I was a teenager (a long time ago, lol), but have only recently been in a position to fully pursue it.
I signed up for the Make Up Magic program in September, and it got me to the point that I was finally comfortable going out in public. I have a fairly chiseled guys’ facial features and was pretty much a make up disaster waiting to happen any time I tried to put it on. (Ladies, if you’re struggling with your make up, Lucille’s Make Up Magic program is definitely worth the investment.)
A few nights ago, I was practicing my Incognito make up and was real pleased with the result. I knew I had make up on, but it didn’t look like I was wearing it. Bronzing powder, eyebrow pencil, mascara, blush and lipstick. All real light… just enough to feel it on my face, smooth out the skin tone differences, and soften my features, but not enough that you could really notice… unless you looked really closely.
I was also messing with my hair, which I keep short, and had styled it so I had wispy bangs coming about half way down my forehead.
About an hour and a half later, I realized I was out of a couple of things and had to go to the grocery store. The only thing I was wearing was very short girl’s summer shorts, pantyhose, and a push up bra. Without thinking, I threw on some guy jeans, a loose-fitting hoodie, flip flops, and headed out the door. The grocery store is right across the street, and it wasn’t until I got to the store entrance that I realized I had make up on my face, no wig, a short haircut, was wearing a push up bra that gave me boobs (noticeable to me) under my hoodie, and my feet sticking out from the bottom of my jeans, covered in smokey black nylons except for the thin straps from my flip flops.
But, it was too late. I went into the store, grabbed what I needed and headed for the self-check out. The girl working at the customer service desk about 10 feet away called out to me as I was finishing and asked me how I was doing?
She was looking right at my face. I didn’t know what to say, so I told her I’d be doing better if I didn’t have all this make up on my face.
She stopped dead in her tracks and started peering intently at my face. I fibbed and told her I’d lost a bet with a buddy and that’s why I was wearing it.
Her mouth dropped, and she looked at me with all sincerity and said, “oh my god, I never would have noticed if you hadn’t said anything about it. It looks GREAT! You can’t even tell it’s there, but your face looks fantastic!
Then she started shouting to her co-worker: “Amber, Amber, come here, you’ve got to see this. For my part, I was dying of embarassment.
Her co-worker came over, and after being told what was going on, was also astonished that I was pulling off an Incognito make up look so well.
Incidentally, I live in a college town and both of these women were obviously (to me) co-eds in their early 20’s, and both were extremely easy on the eyes.
They both complimented me several times on the make up. I smiled, thanked them, told them I might say the heck with it and go out in Drag on Halloween (which got a big laugh) and then decided to get the heck out of there before they noticed my push up bra creating the boob-illusion in my hoodie, or that I was wearing pantyhose and flip flops.
The whole incident inspired me to go out for a walk in my neighborhood last night, wearing the outfit in my pic (which was taken before I started the Make Up Magic program).
No wig.
No shoes.
No handbag.
Just the outfit with smokey black pantyhose, matching flip flops and combed/styled hair to bring my bangs half-way down my forehead again. I stayed out for about an hour and only passed one person… a woman who was walking with her head down. She nodded at me as we were passing but didn’t say anything. I smiled and said hello, and that was it.
I walked past a few people sitting on their front porches, but the sidewalk was far enough away that they may not have noticed. There were streetlights on every street and cars driving by on every block.
I was nervous, but kept reminding myself that if I didn’t make a big deal out of it, no one else would either. More importantly, I accomplished what I wanted to… which was to go out dressed publicly in a way that outwardly expresses who I am on the inside.
So, that’s it. That’s my story. Ladies, never forget: A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step…
Kisses,
Vanessa
I have been crossdressing since I was a small child. However I did not go out in public til 2009. I had dressed in a knit top, skirt stockings and heels. I was surprised when I looked in the mirror.m, I looked almost passable. Then I did my makeup better than I ever had. This gave me the confidence I needed. I grabbed a purse and keys and headed out the door. I stopped at a local coffee place and ordered coffee. Then, emboldened, I went to the mall and went to Macy’s and bought a new skirt and top. I’m sure I was spotted as a CD , but I didnt care. Now I go out once a week , feels liberating
First time I went out public as a woman was with my sister and I was 17yrs old. From sometime my sister(elder) found out that I wear woman clothes. that day only me and sister was at home. parents were at work. She told me that she know about my secret and as we were bored at home she wanted me to dress as a girl in front of her. I also agreed because there was nothing more to hide. we tried few dresses of her. Then my sister suggested that we should go out public me dressed as a girl. First I panicked. but my mind also telling to do it and my sister also made my mind too to it. So I decided to go out and see what will happen. First I put on a padded bra and a lace knicker of my sister and put some sponges inside bra to make fake breasts. Then I wore a short mini black skirt and a beige colored blouse. applied some simple makeup and put a hat and a handbag. Stepped outside and I felt shy. but I made my mind and went. when people say “Hello”, I tried to reply in a feminine voice and not to show fear. As also my sister was there, my fear lost and I felt as a real girl in society. After some shopping and we came back and my sister told that I did a great job out there. After that several times we went outside and now I go out in public alone. Now I don’t fear to let the girl inside me out in public. I’m so proud about it.
I have ben dressing since I was in elementary school. I used to play hookey from Middle school t stay haome a dress up in my single Mom’s clothes when she went to work. I would stay dressed up all day as she did not get hoe unitl about 7:00 P.M.
Later in life, I would dress up in hotel rooms when travelling for work. About 15 years ago, one night in Syracuse, NY I was really bored and fed up with sitting in my room all dressed and made up, so I decided to go for a ride and perhaps try to find a club I heard about downtown. The hotel was one of those that look like a condo complex outside and everyone gets a room that is a studio apartment. I stepped outside the room with my coat on, and my bag slung over my shoulder when a guy came up the stairs looking for his room. I t happened to be right next to mine. He said “Hello” as he went to the door. I answered hm bak, and then he asked me if I wanted to go for a drink. I told him I was waiting for a friend to pick me up, and he went inside his room. I went to my car and drove to the downtown area, and found the club.
I parked the car on the street and got out and walked down the street to the club door and went in. It was great!!! I loved beng there with other people and a drink in my hand, talking to other gurls and guys. It felt wonderful for my first time out! In the beginning I was so nervous, I thought I was visibly shaking like a leaf in a windstorm!!!!
The bartender told me to relax and sit down at the bar near him and have a drink. So I did. It was the best margarita I ever had!!! I could not stop my feeling so good after relaxing a few minutes and walking around the club like I had always thought about. Now I go out all the time for drives and walks.
The first time I was in public dressed as a woman was when I was 18 and it was before I enlisted in the Air Force. I’m currently 64,happily divorced and living full time as a woman.
I have been dressing as a woman for over 35 years and during that time I have had numerous occasions when I have ventured out dressed en femme. Though each occasion has given me a great buzz I can never forget the exhilarating feeling of going out in public dressed head to toe as a woman and hoping that no one would read me as a male to female cross dresser. I need not have worried, with the exception of one overzealous stare from a man on the other side of the street no one else seemed concerned or bothered. I have to say I looked and felt like a million dollars so after a short period of initial anxiety the adrenaline kicked in and I just got on and simply enjoyed it.
My very first occasion was a visit to a ladies occasion wear and dress shop in a small market town about 25 miles drive from where I lived. Of course I had contacted Wendy, the proprietor of the shop several days before hand just to make sure that she was OK with the whole arrangement of me popping in to try on some dresses and shops of course with a view to making a purchase. She was delightful in her reply stating that she didn’t have a problem with it at all so I made an appointment there and then for three days time.
I spent the whole morning pampering myself before setting off for Wendy’s Occasion Wear shop dressed very smartly but subtle as well. Underneath my black straight skirt and black chameuse blouse I was wearing a beautiful matching set of lingerie from M&S (one of the UK’s most revered shopping institutions for lingerie and women’s wear) which felt so special. Anyway, that day was the beginning of my journey
You are so lucky.
To find a woman and shop owner like Wendy is the sort of boon to we who love to dress as females. I would like to see a photo of you dressed in the outfit you wore to go to her shop, sounds very sexy and if you were ‘out’ then I commend your nerve, I wish I could find as much.
I envy you.
Hope you got the clothes that you wanted.
Maxine x
Hi Maxine,
I was very lucky to find someone like Wendy. In fact she has become a very good friend indeed. She is not judgemental in any way and loves helping me to realise my dreams. That said she is in the business of selling her clothes to make money and as it turned out I have become a very good customer indeed.
I have found that if you are honest and upfront shop owners tend to be either totally dismissive and want nothing to do with you or in the case of Wendy the opposite is true. Don’t be frightened by rejection and feel humiliated – if someone doesn’t want to know then try somewhere else. Lots of stores now train staff to be understanding and helpful towards crossdressers as they have come to realise a sale is a sale at the end of the day.
I have attached a photo of a dress I purchased from Wendy as unfortunately I have not got a photo of me wearing the outfit I wore on the day of my first of many visits.
Love Davina xx