Stepping out publicly as a woman is a powerful way to validate your female self.
In fact, I recently published a poll asking “How often do you go out in public as a woman?”
I was happy to see that the majority of my readers (transgender women and crossdressers) go out at least occasionally.
No matter how often you do it, I’m sure you can remember your first time presenting as a woman or crossdressing in public.
Since this is such an important gender-affirming step, I’d love to hear about it!
When was it? Where did you go? And what was your experience?
Please share with us in the comments below!
And if you’ve never been en femme in public, I’m sure you’ll find lots of inspiration in these stories.
As always, thank you for reading and participating!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Unleash Your Inner Woman hypnosis mini session.
I was in 8th grade, 1962. It was at Confirmation class. We had a Halloween party afterward and I dressed. I wanted to wear my sister’s clothes, but my mother said no, I was to wear hers. I wore lavender pants and a white turtleneck. My mother did my make-up and I had a cheap Halloween wig and kerchief. I told the pastor before class so I would not be marked absent. I sat with the girls and no one noticed who I was. One even said, “I just thought you were a new girl in class.” I haven’t been the same since. Like many of us, Halloween was my holiday — liberating. College saw great costumes — woman, bride, campus queen, and the grand finale=Playboy bunny which freaked them all. Great days!!
Very few public appearances since. A few Halloween parties, some Renaissance meetings, and one foray to the mall. Wish i could do more, but so it goes.
Late at night in Germany, I would go out and walk around town in the small town I was living in when stationed there in the 80’s, then when living in Colo. I went downtown Denver with a couple of Tri-ess members one night.
The first time I went out as a woman was in 2012. I made a weekend of it. I was living in Norfolk, Virgina and I had gotten a hotel room in town because I lived on the base and it would not have been very practical, advisable, or frankly possible to stealth my way back on since there’s a 100% ID check and the two definitely didn’t match. It was trouble I didn’t need, so I didn’t bother. There was one LGBT club in Norfolk and I decided that’s where I was going to go.
I called a cab since I planned on imbibing that evening. I wore a Forever 21 lace overlay sheath dress and heels that I to this day kind of regret wearing because A) not comfortable for five hours of dancing and B) they made me WAY taller than everyone else. The cab arrived and I went down to meet it. It was at once terrifying and exhilarating, every simple move and action because it was so brand new. I felt alive! My stomach was doing flips every time I had to stand near a person. There was one outside the elevator, a couple in the elevator, a whole slew of people in the lobby, and so on.
One of only two black marks on the evening occurred when we arrived at the club. Because I hadn’t withdrawn cash for these things like a sane person might, I paid for the cab with my credit card. And the driver used my birth name. I stared pointedly at him for a minute but left the cab without causing the scene I so badly wanted to.
The club itself was pretty great, although I had arrived a bit earlier than the crowd had. I had begun to drink (I tend to lose track of my posture, and in retrospect, I think I was probably slouched over the bar at this point) when I noticed in the mirrored wall behind the bar that a guy was approaching me, eyes locked on my ass (okay, not sure why because there’s nothing there, but whatever floats your casserole…). As he got closer, my bemused curiosity turned into minor alarm as he raised his arms over his head, clearly intending to put them on me in some manner or another. As he did, years of martial arts training kicked in and I deflected in such a way that half of the club was now staring at the scene unfolding. Was it ladylike? No, but I remain unmolested, so… Anyway, the guy said “I was just going to ask if I could buy you a drink!” I, er, don’t really like being touched by strangers.
I let him go and he starts hitting on me in a really creepy way. I tried ignoring him, visibly being interested in some of the women in the room, etc. Eventually, one of the girls swooped in and without a word pulled me onto the dance floor. She says “I thought you were going to lay that guy out!” I told her that I thought he was going to hit me. She told me that she was about three seconds from jumping into it on my side. She then goes around and introduces me to a lot of the people at the club, including a really pretty girl with lipstick red highlights in a platinum blonde sort of pixie bob. She had very striking eyes. I don’t even remember the color (it was dark), but they were piercing. We danced a bit.
From there on, it was mostly typical club stuff. Drinking, dancing, etc. At about two in the morning, I left and went back to the hotel. I misplaced my room key so I had to go to the front desk and ask for another. There was a line at the front desk at two in the morning, for some reason. So I had to wait in that. Some people noticed me. Some people were visibly put off. Whatever… I got back to my room, slept it off, got up and had the hangover cure breakfast of champions: lunch at Hooters and went shopping all the next day. That night, I came back, changed back into my male clothes and went back to the base.
I currently live 24/7 as my real self and have since May 1, 2009 but my first time out in public any real length of time was for my 9 days at Fantasia Faire in Provincetown MA at the tip of Cape Cod. I arrived in Provincetown on Oct 16, 1976 and spent from Sat afternoon till Sun Morning Oct 24, 1976 as Patricia. Had a wonderful time met some wonderful people from all parts of the country and every imaginable trade/occupation, those of us at the convention were welcomed and treated outstandingly by the residents and business people of Provincetown even way back then. It was a wonderful event/vacation and an educational experience I will always treasure.
In recent years I have learned that 1976 was only the second year that Fantasia Faire was held and it is currently the longest running TG convention in the US.
It was a frighting thing but I new I had to do it. I do it all the time now and I LIKE IT. Just wish I could do it all the time. I hope some day I can do it 24/7. Thank you for all you have done to help me. LaTisha
This is so amazing! My first time out was today, the same day I got your email about going out in public! I had a fabulous day! I got all dressed up, nail polish(pink) and of course matching toes. I made an appointment at True Colors TG to have my make up done and buy a wig. When I pulled up to the salon, I was apprehensive about getting out because there were two men sitting outside the laundromat next door. But I pulled myself together and I walked right on in passing the guy’s knowing I couldn’t pass, but it was exhilarating to say the least. I walked in the studio, got my make up done and bought a wig. After I was all dolled up, I knew at that moment that I will never stop being the women that I am……I lolled fabulous. I could pass as a women without a doubt!!!! It felt so good!!!! All the practice I’ve done in the past few months has paid off! I then went shopping at the mall with full confidence that not one person could tell I was en femme!!!! If any of you have not tries going out, DO IT!!!! Life is to short. Trust me, I thought I could never pass, but with the right attitude you will!!!!!!!!
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i was in 3rd grade..i started wearing nylons under my pants to school.
it was a thrill
glad i never got discovered
that sorta awareness…did actual help me get better grades on tests.
the idea…made me more aware of me…and where i was…what i was doing …etc etc
now-a-days
i have a shoe collection…just normal dress shoes…never anything outlandish.
i will get into the …fishnet….panty-hose regularly too!
thank you!
The first time I was litterally out of my house dressed with woman clothes was back when I were like 10-12 year old. I was alone in the house and decided to try a new piece I found on my mothers closet. I did, and at some time I had to get out to the yard to feed the dogs. Next day I got a hint that a neighborg saw me, so I think it counts as “in public”, but I didn’t present myself as a woman per se.
Last year, I got fully en femme once to move my car and give chance to a neighborg to go out, so I was on the street totally as a woman. I was nervous, because it happened fast. I was on my house en femme, and at some time she came and I knew why it was for. I decided to go out like that, and I’m really grateful to her, since she didn’t flinch or looked weird at me, she just took it as it came. The tension went away really fast and I felt confortable in no time. That day I knew this was for me, I took the right choice.