When presenting as a woman, every detail matters. The way you act is just as important as the way you look. This includes etiquette!
Does etiquette sound like an old-fashioned concept from the 1950s? It’s not.
Knowing the proper etiquette makes you look classy and goes a long way towards a positive first impression. (Besides, you never know when you might be invited to dinner at the White House or Buckingham Palace!)
In this blog post on trans / crossdressing training, we’ll delve into etiquette for common social situations. Here are 6 etiquette tips to know before your next en femme outing.
1. Girly Greetings
Greetings can be a landmine of potential awkwardness. Should you hug, kiss, or shake hands?
The rules are straightforward when meeting somebody for the first time:
- Shake the hand of the person you are being introduced to.
- If you are sitting down, stand up to shake their hand.
- Look them in the eyes and smile.
- Bonus points if you say the other person’s name when you meet them.
Kissing, air kissing, and hugs depend on cultural norms and how well you know somebody. When in doubt, let the other person lead.
Of course, if it’s a good friend, feel free to hug or kiss away!
2. The Proper Place for Your Purse
Where you put your purse says a lot about your manners. Did you know that putting your purse on the table in public is considered rude? That’s because it’s unhygienic.
Here’s what you should do instead:
Handbag etiquette:
- In casual settings, you can hang your bag on the back of your chair. However in formal settings, this is considered poor etiquette since it can trip up the wait staff.
- The other option is to place it on your lap or at your feet.
- You can also use a purse hook. This is a small hook you carry with you to hang your bag on the table. (Queen Elizabeth II is said to have used one!)
Clutch bag etiquette:
- Place the clutch on your lap (with your napkin on top) or behind you on your chair.
3. Napkin Etiquette
Napkin etiquette is simple: As soon as you are seated, put the napkin on your lap. You should never begin eating or drinking without your napkin on your lap.
If you get up to use the restroom, fold the napkin and place it on the left side of your plate.
4. How to Hold Your Wine Glass
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been holding your wine glass wrong.
The mistake most people make is to hold the glass by the “bowl.” This is a faux pas since it warms the drink inside and leaves smudge marks on the glass.
Instead, hold the glass at the stem by grasping it between your thumb and index finger. (Who votes for a “practice” session tonight?!)
5. Use the Right Utensils
Ah, the classic etiquette question: Which fork do I use? The answer is to start with the outermost utensil and work your way in with each course.
6. A Grand Finale
Now that you’ve made it through the occasion with perfect, ladylike manners, how do you make a grand finale?
- When you are done eating, rest your utensils diagonally (in parallel) across your plate.
- Your napkin should remain on your lap until you’re ready to leave the table.
- Never leave a party or event without saying your goodbyes. “Ghosting” is just plain rude.
Etiquette matters
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Etiquette might not be the “sexiest” topic, but these details make a difference.
Curious to know more? Check out Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition.
Did any of these etiquette rules surprise you? Do you have any others to add to this list? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. Want to learn more tips on mastering your feminine presentation?
Sign up for my free 3-part Male to Female Transformation Mini Course here!
I will have to stop puting my clutch bag on the table(oops!) and put it in my lap. Thanks!!!
Hello Lucille, I think one thing missed is that you do not check your makeup at the table after the meal, that is why ladies go to the ladies room after the meal with their purses, that way they can touch up their makeup and do any other business while they are there. If he is a gentleman, he will be waiting for your return with a smile on his face, especially if your makeup is freshened up along with your hair and perfume for a night out. ;))
Hi Lucille, I am a feminine soul spirit personality, who lives inside the physical male body.
I have long joped that someday it will be possible for a female in a male body like me, to have the reproduction capacity to bear children of my own through advances in human genome alteration(gene expression).
I have seen spent a lot of time researching the human genome advances in what science is now capable of in creating human hybrids, including the ability for the male anatomy to be augmented with female reproductive capability, and have heard its now possible to do this, but do not know it for a fact. Do you have any current information on where I could go to see of I can have this done with me. Thanks for your input and support.
Hi Lucille, your purse (called “handbags” in the UK we keep our coins in a purse) tips are good as I will have to stop putting mine on the table “opps” putting your bag on your lap works well unless it is on the big side,
food for thought, I do know a lady friend who had her bag stole from the back of her chair as she was enjoying her meal, I do hope that does not reflect on eating out in the UK
Dear Lucille,
As a MtF One of the mannerism’s that I use is that when I meet someone new is I twitch my head over so slightly to the right to say hello. Men on the other hand will bob there head up and down to say hello to them.
That sounds ever so cute, I will use that myself if I may.
Most as far as the utensils and which to use did not surprise me. When you have an overbearing aka The Hawk” like my mother and being at Luxury places IE The Greenbrier in White Sulpher Springs West Virginia, and told to keep two (2) feet in one shoe well.. she could be a real “witch”& a B**ch as well. I have 2 other brothers and believe you me if we did anything wrong we got it a real EAR full
Your tips have all been so helpful , I dress male at work in mostly female clothing and feel so fem doing it, your thoughts on etiquette will sit in my heart and transform my life as well
Thank you Lucille,
Two tips I learned from you was to not place either purse or clutch bag on the table and, to not hold the wine glass at the bowl. Thank you again.
Jamie
Dear Lucille,
good manners can change over time and may differ from place to place, but they are never out of fashion!
Many kisses!