What do you think of when you hear the word “ladylike?” Beauty, poise, and class? Or perhaps, outdated notions of femininity?
To me, being ladylike means being classy, gracious, and elegant. No matter what your idea of femininity might be, I’m sure we can agree that these are great traits to have.
If you’re a crossdresser or a transgender woman who wants to be perceived as a lady, there are a few things you should steer clear of.
Read on to discover 5 common mistakes that can detract from your ladylike image.
Mistake #1: Showing Too Much Skin
Being ladylike definitely doesn’t mean being a buttoned-up prude. However, good taste goes a long way when presenting yourself as a woman.
It can be tricky to know how much is too much, so here are some simple guidelines to keep in mind:
- Show off one part of your body and keep the rest covered. A little mystery is sexy, so show off your legs, breasts, or back – just not all at once.
- Flaunt the right amount of cleavage. A good rule of thumb is to reveal 20%-40% of your bust. This gives you sex appeal, while keeping it classy.
- Try the finger length test. To determine the proper skirt length, stand up straight and put your arms to your side. If your fingertips fall past the hem of your skirt, it’s too short.
Mistake #2: Not Minding Your Manners
Good manners and etiquette are dying arts in today’s world. Saying “please” and “thank you” are simple ways to elevate your ladylike status.
The rules of etiquette can be a bit more confusing. To learn more, check out my blog post on 6 modern etiquette tips for your male to female transformation.
Mistake #3: Being Sloppy With Your Grooming
Grooming can make or break your feminine image. In fact, studies show that grooming has more of an impact on your attractiveness than the physical features you were born with.
Are your grooming habits up to par? If this area needs work, be sure to see my article on 5 feminine grooming habits not to ignore.
Mistake #4: Losing Control
One of the most important qualities of a lady (and of any respectable human being) is self control – especially when you’re out in public.
In other words, no diva acts, angry outbursts, or public displays of drunkenness. It seems obvious, but if celebrity tabloids are any indication, it’s not.
Mistake #5: Poor Posture Or Body Language
Finally, don’t forget that your posture and body language communicate more about you than anything you say. Here are some major no-nos:
- Slouching
- Biting your nails or playing with your hair
- Not making eye contact
- Crossing your arms
For an even more comprehensive list, review these 27 male to female body language mistakes to avoid.
Do you aspire to be ladylike?
So what do you think of the term “ladylike,” anyway? Do you find it outdated and offensive towards women? Or a feminine quality worth aspiring to?
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked these tips, you’ll love my FREE 3-part Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
First, my mother was a posture witch. Head up, shoulders square and back straight. I learned to balance books on my head and walk. She was also strict about grooming, so my hair and makeup are always done right or I hear her yelling in my head. She is long gone but her lessons linger…lol, Another was to always act like ladies or gentlemen in public. I was born male in a household of women but being trans, the lessons stuck. I don’t figget or lose my temper in public. Dressing is sometimes the hard part. I grew up in an era of short skirts and free thought so I have to constantly remind myself to dress like a lady and not like a girl, as much as I still would like to. I am now only weeks away from living as a woman full time so I pay more and more attention to the things that make me female and more than just passable. Many thanks to Lucille and her constant support.
I’m thinking that paying attention to these ladylike qualities even when alone at home ( like posture and body language ) when nobody is around is important – as laxity in ladylike mannerisms around home may inadvertently translate into your public persona ( if you are out in public ) when you are out rushing around and not always conscious about what you are doing.
Whenever I hear the term “ladylike”, I think of the outside, beauty, how ladies are ‘expected’ to behave. This is very important, of course. However, it is much, much, more. I know of women that act more man-like than ladylike. So, so much for the term. To me, it is more on the inside. Compassion, empathy, and so forth. Just my opinion, of course.
I completely agree! My first instinctive thought about what defines women as being “ladylike” are the external things–the image that the public sees. And please don’t get me wrong at all. How people see and treat me has an IMMENSE affect on my self-confidence. A wrong look or awkward reaction can just shatter me!!
That said, deep in my heart, when I reflect on what being “ladylike” truly means to me: being empathetic, and expressive and nurturing, I realize that every single woman i’ve ever known, regardless of personality or culture or anything else has these traits.
…and long before I recognized this, I’ve very much cared about cultivating these traits within myself…and it may sound a little weird, but I actually draw strength and comfort from that, lol
Thank you! 🙂
Very well said, Heather!
For me, being a transgendered lady, and a
person in a wheelchair, is a hard enough act to pull off, but there is no
excuse not to be ladylike. Ladylike, to me, just means exhibiting
gracious manners, sitting up straight, crossing your right foot over
your left, ( damn that Emily Post ) never cutting into a conversation
when you have no idea what’s being said. Never treat others rudely, (
no matter how much you may hate them. Always remember: treat
others the way you’d want to be treated.
I applaud you and your thoughts.
How nicely said.
3 cheers for your integrity.
It is nice to see those values are still upheld.
Thank you.
I think manerisms are QUITE important to be registered and perceived as lady-like.
For me, I find I am treated far more respectable when I am polite and do not use the MALE undertones that used to sprinkle my vocabulary. Wording is critical to. Words such as “dude, man, yo, hey you, what’s up” and more I’m sure I can’t think of this exact moment are OUT of my vocabulary permanently. I like to use such vocabulary as “Thank you, Could you help me with…., Please, How are you sweetie?, Hi “insert name here”, Helloooooo, as well as little sweet giggles sprinkled in now and then when appropriate. My hands stay OUT of my jeans pockets now, if they must go anywhere besides by my side, I do tend to rest them on my hip in chic fashion.
Foul language is not ladylike, so don’t bring that trucker image to the party.
I too often see legs wide apart while sitting – put those knees together girls! I cross my ankles to help keep them that way.
And smile 🙂
Wanda:
You look fabulous, but you probably don’t need me to tell you what you already know!
The colors are gorgeous, make up and hair…you have it all Gurl…the whole package.
At 73 in October, it’s harder every year to maintain my GIRLISH FIGURE. Harder STILL keeping up with you young Foxes!!
I’ ll keep going until I can’t be proud to represent…pics for your evaluation…
T.J.
Hi Wanda
Your photo shows how poised and graceful a lady can be. Just the way you hold your wine glass, is so feminine. And the way you position yourself while seated is elegant to me.
On another subject, I love, love, love your top. And those heels are so nice, I just love them Anyway I just had to comment about your pic, I know it was a little off the subject.
Much love ❤
Tina D. H.
I agree with Jodi. My hetro male side says Mmm, nice. My femme side is jealous of the poise AND the beauty that shows. True beauty comes from within, and you’ve got it sister.
Good advice Wanda, oh and by the way you look very nice in that photo , very ladylike . Well done .
Being lady like; what pulls me off base is when speaking with a gentleman, I allow my male persona to get in front of my female persona.
I’m in conversation with him while wearing DDs, hot lips and perfume that says “Do me” and I slip into my male posture, attitude and slang. Really impressed that man, I say to myself. In more ways than one. Yo!
Yes totally agree, maybe these need to be told to a majority of the true females out there too lol.