Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
I must be different. I never wanted to blend in, and stood out from day one in a very good way. Within a week I had people I didn’t know tell me I was beautiful. And so it has continued for nearly 6 years.
I dress well, have 19 wigs to choose from, and it is rare when someone realizes it is a wig, even when I wear my purple and pink ones. Strange, I know, but true.
I wear lipstick always, red is my favorite, but I will wear pink with pink clothes, and purple with purple clothes, I have the makeup but haven’t yet tried Goth! Maybe when I go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show stage show in town.
I had one woman say she didn’t believe I was a transwoman when she was told. One man i flirted with unmercifully didn’t know either.
The people who do know I’m a transwoman all treat me as if I was a native-born female, (OK, GG!)including the few guys I know.
I truly glory in my acceptance. and dare I say “passing.”
I have been hired twice by the Dept of Commerce and once by a commercial company as simply a female.
Very nice
Like a lot of the other girls, I have mixed feelings on this. My initial response to the poll was “blend in,” but when I reflected upon it, I realized that isn’t necessarily the case. When I’m first out I don’t want to face ridicule so I’m looking to blend in. But once I’m satisfied that I have achieved that, I want people to stare at my legs, admire my fashionable clothes, see my pretty smile. If I am initially successful, I gain confidence and begin to strut and show off a bit. If I’m read early on, I try to blend in as much as possible, which usually results in the opposite effect: a loss of confidence resulting in more people being able to read me.
Just an addendum. I am 77 nearly 78, and working full time. This is a current picture from Sept. 2012.
I just like to put on a little lipstick, grab my purse, and head to the nearest store that is having a sale. I dress accordingly, wearing clothes that are easily in and out of so that I can easily try on things without having to worry about my hair etc. My hair is a short femine cut that make this possible.
Hi !
about melting in or standing out ! for me it´s step 1 and step 2, because first you have to learn to melt in and feel safe and confident about yourself as a woman, and after that you will just love to “stand out” when you are out there in public
I’m not sure if I posted to this already. But for me, it’s a mix. The ideal is to ‘blend in’ as a woman, but stand out as a person – if that makes any sense.
But I’m also rather introverted, which makes ‘standing out’ too much a bit stressful in itself. So yeah, I guess I’m pretty lost.
i like to blend in so i try to look as female/feminine as possible but in a good way, like i was born with this softer look – feel very comfortable with it. i’m 6′ m2f who has zero confidence in being able to pass – also there is the deception issue to deal with so i don’t feel good about being mistaken for a female – also i’m of the mind that there is nothing wrong with being transgendered or between-gendered!
Hi,
Its not my clothes that make myself standout, or shoes or even make up if what i wear can becalled that lippy & eyebrow liner ,
Make up is not going to help me so i dont bother. yes im a female / woman just no facial features that says woman. part of my detail of being intersexed,
So yes im looked at by most people i dont mind im one of those who can walk the streets in full Renaissance wear or garb & be so at home in my clothes & what i wear & if i did it all the time id be quite happy this of cause is what being different to me is all about , just that,
Being different because when you know you are why try & be something your not.
I wore my wig for 11 years, & some make up all i saw was,
i was hideing behind that , it was & is not me its just not who i am ,
Im open faced every one can see , this is the real who i am.
& for myself to blend in that would be laughable, so no it wont happen,
…noeleena…
I usually want to blend in, but in my own way… my style fluctuates between somewhat punk-goth (I grew up in the 80s,) and somewhat hippy.. However, that said, as much as I’m thrilled when someone calls me “Miss”, and HORRIFIED when someone calls me “Sir”, I try to retain a sense of humor about it all… after all, even though I’m not a “gg”, as I posted earlier, even when I had a full beard (a fleeting part of my old “average guy drag”), I was often called “Miss”, and besides which, I’m ok at this moment in time as a transwoman.
Anyhow, I just wanted to relate something that happened yesterday on the 6 train (I live in NYC, and I’m referring to the subway): it was rush hour, or, as I like to call it, “crush hour”, and I’d just come from Whole Foods on 14th St, and was heading back uptown. All of a sudden, I feel this body leaning against my back, and I thought, “ok.. he must have fallen into me or something”, but when he doesn’t move away, I realized, I had a groper. So, with the elbow of the hand not holding onto the overhead bar, I subtly jabbed him right in the floating rib. Needless to say, he turned around, and got off at the next stop.
Ok, so, yes, part of me was thrilled at the thought that in an admittedly perverse way, I’d just been validated, but I’m a translesbian, and even if I was into men this would be reprehensive! Seriously, what on earth would give a guy the idea that this kind of behavior is ok??? I know I’m not the only one who’s had this experience (both my wife and mom-in-law shared stories of the same kind of thing with me) but again I say, seriously??? Ok, rant over.