Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I guess I’m part of the ‘blending in’ crowd — my best moments are when I feel completely invisible and unnoticed. It’s a wonderful feeling, and one that I cannot fully convey to anyone else who isn’t a crossdresser — although my wife also hates to stand out, so I guess she understands me perfectly.
Sure, even my best efforts cannot hide my large frame and above-average height, in a country where women are exceptionally small (guys are pretty much average, though). Obviously there are exceptions, and in recent years, young girls are much taller than before — but, being exceptions, they will always stand out.
My goal? Simply not look out of place, and even though I’ll be ‘read’, at least I hope to get some comments like ‘it’s just a guy, but he dresses well’. Skimpy dresses are great for private parties (with other transgendered and LGBT-friendly people), but for going out in public, I prefer a more ‘elegant casual’ approach which is in vogue and doesn’t make me look completely out of place.
Of course I try to blend in, an it’s getting easier. I’m getting less an less attention. Which is what I’m striving for. For myself dressing to my age to be invisible is awesome
Because of my size, I can’t blend in. I’m tall and I can’t hide under a table, so I stand out regardless.
Do I care. no.
I am noticed a lot. I don’t think I like this. Everyone seems to notice my legs perhaps too much, I am not sure. I both like and dislike my legs. I was chosen at our local French Festival to belly dance in front of the crowd as a woman. I was a little shy about it at first but did my best and was told that I did well, however, only the men were allowed prizes. Never mind: I am going to take belly dancing lessons. At last a form of dancing I feel confident to really get into!
I try to blend in for safety reasons only – there’s a lot violence against the transgender community and don’t to chance it.
I like to stand out. I don’t mind being hugged by complete strangers, it happens a lot. I’ll dance with guys and GG’s and I am a terrible flirt.
Hi Lucille,
You’ve heard me say many times before that blending into lots of people out in public is always what I want to happen. I keep my hair shoulder length, age-appropriate, with full bangs, and it’s a look that MANY women around my age 50 have. Same for my basic solid pencil skirts with cute blouse or knit top, flats, only black or nude stockings, shoulder purse matches my shoes. Add a matching ensemble of earrings, necklace, rings, watch, bracelet, nail polish . . . average ‘everyday’ office style make-up, a little perfume, and I just love blending in as another woman out walking to work, or lunch, or to a meeting, home from work, stopping by a store to pick a few things up.
But I think Caitlyn Jenner’s high profile is going to make it a LOT easier to be read (not pass 100%) but have almost everyone say, “oh well” or “so what”, because she wears nice matching outfits, age appropriate hair and looks very everyday/average, so that helps the rest of society think “I guess there’s TG that’s not the same as super over-the-top drag/cross dressing” and I hope it becomes even more and more normal and acceptable. Stay away from bad wigs, mismatched clothing, 1970s-80s styles, ginormous boobs, and way too much make-up . . . and suddenly society will simply realize we’re just like any other gal out for her day!
I couldn’t agree more 🙂 And yes, there is a lot we can thank Caitlyn about. Not the least of which that you can be 65+ and look awesome!
Standing out here means copping all sorts of abuse and risking life and limb. People can’t deal with it. Means they have to examine their own feminine side and this is not on. If I had the looks I may want to display them. I just need to give my lady some time out of the closet is all. Approval and acceptance of others is unnecessary to me. She is who he is and we are one.