Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I will be venturing out ‘en femme’ for the first time later this year, probably in the fall. When it happens, I simply want to be out in the world as a lady, feeling the sensations of my clothing and hearing the click of my heels on the pavement. I don’t want to attract attention because I am scared to death! But I can’t wait to experience it.
I try to blend in. I want to be able to go out in public comfortably and not worry about whether I pass or not. If I don’t pass then I can just look at it as if I am expressing my true inner self and dressing accordingly. Here is one way I dress, wearing a jeans skirt, N.O.W. shirt (where I am an active member), thigh highs and 2 inch heels. I tend to dress low key when I go out so I don’t attract attention, yet I dress in feminine attire.
I like to blend by not being over the top, however I love to be noticed as attractive. It’s kind of a catch 22. I’m friends with a lot of drag queens, and I strive to not get lumped into the “queen” category. I prefer the natural look.
You Succeed Wonderfully on Both counts.
Im never going truly pass especially if/when I speak but I cant deny that when I get comments from men or women about how good I look , it makes me feel good
Lucille,
Once again you challenge the purpose of my dressing. For years my goal has been to be a passable crossdresser in public. On your site and others, I have always advised younger “ladies” to dress your age and not go over the top in fashion and makeup. To a degree this is blending in, but as all of us who go out and shop know, women look at women more closely than men. Some of your younger girls will get the once over from the guys, but no one looks you over more than the cosmetic and fragrance ladies at Macy’s Department Store. Whether you call it standing out or mission accomplished a “Cute outfit”, ” love that dress”or “Great look” from one of those ladies just makes me float and even happier that I dress. Confidence and tasteful fashion together help take you where you want to go.
Thanks for a great site Lucille.
Always have fun dressing
Barbara Jane
Thank you for the kind words, Barbara Jane. You look absolutely lovely!
You look great. You are very passable.
Hi what a thought provoking theme. I was about to vote to blend in then realised I don’t want to blend in I want to stand out but not as an oddity or someone to be laughed at or pilloried what I want to stand out for is elegance and the ability to be and appear as a confident attractive woman. It is not for me to judge whether I have achieved that that will come from the votes of others. So when I do go out now I know why I
feel so good when someone comes up and tries to chat me up
Glenda
I enjoy attracting positive attention when en femme ; in your opinion , do I succeed ?
You Succeeded.
I’m a closet dresser and I don’t want to compete with any women on dressing I just like the feel of the cloths. So I do dress every chance I get. It makes me happy.