It’s not easy being a crossdresser or transgender woman. When you add envy and comparison to the mix, it can make the journey even tougher.
The truth is, it’s all too common to fall into the comparison trap – whether it’s measuring up to cisgender women or looking at those girls who are further along in their MTF transitions.
Feeling jealous or envious every now and then is perfectly normal. But it doesn’t exactly feel great, does it? Plus, it can hinder your progress towards your own goals.
So, how can you manage these emotions? In this blog post on male to female tips, I’ll share 5 strategies to help you conquer envy and comparison.
1. Recognize That You Don’t See the Whole Picture
It’s easy to feel inadequate when scrolling through seemingly flawless Instagram photos. Social media can be a breeding ground for envy, but remember these two important things:
- Most people present an idealized version of themselves online. Those filtered photos may not accurately reflect their true appearance.
- You have no insight into what’s happening behind the scenes. Even those with seemingly perfect lives have their own issues and insecurities.
Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself scrolling through social media!
2. Let Envy Inspire You
Envy is a sign that someone has something you want for yourself, and that’s not a bad thing. Instead of letting envy make you feel down, use it as a source of inspiration.
Set achievable goals and direct your energy toward reaching them. Taking positive action feels incredible, and it can be a powerful way to turn envy into motivation.
3. Get Out and Live Your Life
If you find yourself spending too much time on social media or passively observing others, it can easily lead to negative thought patterns.
Simply put, you need to spend less time in your own head and more time enjoying your fabulous life!
When you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s less room for obsessive comparison.
4. Surround Yourself with Positivity
Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?
Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.
I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets, such as Meetup groups, support groups, or online communities that uplift your spirits.
5. Appreciate Yourself
Remember this: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” To overcome envy, shift the focus back to what makes you special, unique, and beautiful.
There’s no finite supply of beauty or success in the world, so keep reminding yourself of your strengths and attributes.
Is this advice clichéd? Perhaps, but it works!
How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?
Feeling envious or making comparisons is normal, but the sooner you shift the focus back to your own life and goals, the better.
Because, girlfriend, you are amazing just the way you are!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
Hello ladies, it has been a while since I wrote a comment. Good subject to write about.
Unfortunately many of us are not born with the naturally felt gender.
So as we experience our real selfs, we learned and try to act, appear and display our woman side. I read and read so many short and long opinions, all of which inspire me to add a little.
It is about how we feel inside. We are it pretty in nature. We don’t have those natural curves, but we improvise to achieve our desired figure. It is hard for many of us but on a day by day we manage to feel comfortable inside. We are the type of human being which is in many aspects stronger than others. Realize this how many persons lie us endure so much pain, criticism and pchycological struggle to reach our desire and felt person. I in a personal note, look for a way to improve my facial appearance and body contour. A fact that very few natural born women, in millions worry about everyday.
We have a challenge which does not stop until we feel comfortable.
I have such a small circle of people who know of Christine that this is not a major area of concern for me. I have seen some women like myself who look fabulous but I have never felt envy – admiration and inspiration maybe. I agree completely that it’s about being positive, not only about myself and Christine abut about all things around me. But, I love reading these articles as I always find them provocative in a positive way, if that makes sense.
Concentrate on a useful career in which you are self sufficient, paying your own way, not a drag on humanity. Then, the confidence one will achieve will eliminate envy, jealousy for others and make one your own person. YOU’LL THEN FEELSO SELF CONFIDENT AND ATEASE W/ YOUR SELF THAT , that achievments will come easy, and dressing/ transitioning wil become smooth as silk. And, you’ll look much better/more feminine-passable as well. Wich means, more active social life in any circle you choose.
AND, HANG ONLY W/ WINNERS whether in Trans or otherwise, if leading the “double life”.
Chao
Dear Lucille,
thanks for hopefully words. Yes, your opinion helps me completely to arriving aims of life. It is not easy in groups and companies, who have critic views of my lifestyle. But you give back the force I need. And often Im jealos of the bodies from women, exspecially to be without bodyhairs, even by transgender women. But I ever give the best for good shaves, even it cost a lot of time. Kisses…heiko
It is natural thing and overcomes for itself, try to think about in a various way.
Envy—-When we envy something we should just work harder to achieve that wich we we envy(or close to it)
I find myself doing that all the time. . . like a pre-pubescent junior high school girl! Thanks for the great advice. I will be putting it to good use! love what you do, Hon!
This is my one weakness, but I do stop myself and think that I am only seeing a part of their life and that even though the one I may envy is doing something I yearn to do I have done things that others have not. As for those who say age is a factor (being to old) how much older will you be if you don’t do the things you want to do, the same age as if you did it (We will never get younger so if you can do it then do it don’t tell yourself your to old).
My one big fear in my life was the reaction of my father (when younger he had a temper, also due to some bad money management I live with my parents) but this past June I sucked up my fear and told my Father and at first he thought I was coming out gay but ether way our relationship has not changed, since I am still living with them I will respect them and their house but once I can get my feet under me I will be my true self. Also I have been on hormones since May of 2015. Removing fear from my life has had a big impact on my mood and depression ( its gone into repression:) )