Have you ever felt misunderstood?
Sadly, there’s a lot of ignorance out there! That’s why in this blog post, I want to debunk common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
Let’s start with one of the biggest misconceptions that’s unfortunately still hanging around:
Myth: Transgender women, crossdressers, and drag queens are all the same.
While all these are valid ways of expressing one’s gender, they represent distinct groups, and it’s important not to use these terms interchangeably.
To clarify, here’s how the GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines some common transgender terms:
- Transgender women – People who were assigned male at birth but who identify as women. Many transgender women are prescribed hormones or undergo surgery, but transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.
- Crossdressers – Men, typically heterosexual men, who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories associated with women. This activity is a form of gender expression and is not done for entertainment purposes. Crossdressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.
- Drag queens – Men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment.
- Gender non-conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.
- Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of male and female. The term is not a synonym for transgender and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
Now that the record has been set straight, let’s look at some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
7 Myths About Transgender Women
- Being transgender is a choice.
- Transgender people are gay.
- Transgender women aren’t “real” women.
- Your sex is defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
- You have to have surgery to be a “real” transgender person.
- You aren’t transgender until you start hormone therapy.
- Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender.
7 Myths About Crossdressers
- Crossdressers are gay.
- Crossdressers are perverts.
- Crossdressing is a psychological problem.
- Crossdressing can be cured.
- Crossdressers want to change their sex.
- Crossdressing is a destructive addiction.
- Crossdressers can’t be good husbands or fathers.
Have you heard any of these myths before? They’re frustrating and hurtful, aren’t they? It’s time for the world to wake up and realize this truth:
Your gender is who you are on the inside. There are countless ways to express your gender, and all are completely valid!
To help spread this truth, check out these excellent resources from GLAAD below. They’re a great way to increase awareness about transgender issues.
Recommended Resources from GLAAD
Now let’s hear from you…
What’s the truth that YOU’D like to set straight? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I have always known that their is a woman that is inside me! Due to society constraints she cannot express herself fully and she begs to come out.
I raised 4 children and have been married to the same woman for 45 years. My children do not know that I cross dress nor do my friends ( except for a select few who accept me for who I am).
I have dressed since I was 8, first in my mothers clothes then my wifes. I am NOT gay and I have no desire to date men
I have purged clothing several times times over the years and now have become comfortable with who I am. I do not feel perverted in my cross dressing and it is not a disease that can be cured, it is a state of mind in which you have a desire that relaxes you because you are no longer performing for society.
I do not know my feelings on changing sex. I suppose that I will have to talk with a counselor.
I do not think that it is a “destructive addiction”. I am a successful business person, so where is the destruction?
Jil
I don’t care about the myths. I just want to be the woman that I feel that I am.
I feel I should of been born a female- I think about being female all the time. I dress about 6 hours a day. I enjoy looking as a female and enjoy having men treat me as a female. I enjoy being with other cd and going out to dinner and clubs. I still half to be male at work and have a male personalty – I hate it- I hope some day I can be female 24/7 , I would give any thing to do that. I am not gay but enjoy every thing about being a woman.
“WOW” I can so relate to what you are saying, I think of those same things ALL day every day.
luv ya
Lindsay
First, I appreciate the previous comments regarding choice, and how we are often viewed as sex objects or toys. Whether that comes to us by behavior within the community or misrepresentation in film and tv, it does make life for those of us who simply want to express our whole self more difficult. It builds on the stigma and shame that leave many of us struggling to come out to our spouses, family or close friends.
As for destructive addiction and in ability to be good spouses and parents, that is where things can be a bit tricky. I’d use the word distracting vs destructive. We are all so different, but in my (CD) case, it takes a bit of extra focus to not let my mind’s wandering distract me from my priorities of spouse, kids, family, and work. I try to get those taken care of, first, then the time that’s left for my fem expression.
Terry C ;
You are so right…we are distracted by our needs to CD. This should not be at the destruction of the lives we are living.
Not everyone has the same, identical desires. We all don’t want to be Femme 24/ 7.
At 73 yo, I am not going to destroy all I have built in my life as a man. I CD 3_4 × s / month…& that is enough for me. I am as happy as ever. I truly can’t ask for more. My being out has torn at the fabric of my life but not destroyed it.
Your photo is wonderful…you look fabulous.
Enjoy Being You! T.J.
I have always found these myths very bizarre.I am trans and I have always known. Like a lot of trans women I tried to be “male” for most of my life and because of this some of my family think I’m just going through a phase. I have never known a phase to last 44 years. We don’t want special treatment. We just want to be respected as women and given the same rights that other women have.
CD CAN become an obsession for some CD’S if prone to compulsive behavior.
I have always found it to be a strange notion that people would think that being transgendered is a choice. I have been trans all my life and have struggled every day to avoid the fact that I was indeed a real woman in this awkward form. I am now finally transitioning into the woman that I am and can truly smile about who I am for the first time in my life. I never wanted this struggle and could never begin to say just how difficult it is to be a woman in the body of a man. The biased beliefs that our society has coupled with the immense physical, mental, emotional, and financial burdens has been enough for me to try to end my life numerous times. I am older now and much more mature but still face the pressure of wanting to be the woman I am or the man society expects me to be. Not exactly the joyful experience I wanted. (Kind of like the choice between having a bite of chocolate or a bowl of *#@%.) I always knew that I never asked for this but I am a strong and somewhat stubborn woman and I believe that the only choice I have in this life is whether to chase my dream and overcome the challenges that I face or let go and live a lie that I feel was forced upon me. We are defined I believe, as people not by the experiences we have to live through but by the choices we have to live with… The things we say and the actions we choose to take or decide to avoid are what makes us who we are. The beliefs we have are more of who we are than what the world believes we should be. To see beauty through the eyes of a woman is the greatest gift I have ever been given and hope is what allows me to continue seeing!
How about let’s clear up a few more myths while we’re at it. There’s a belief, based on how we are represented by some, that both CDers and TG’s are just guys being kinky. With all the shock that goes with some saying they want to be controlled or beat, forced whatever, it’s no wonder we’re perceived like we are especially when seen by an uneducated public in that light. Also, there’s another belief that we’re out to have sex with anyone and we also initiate it to happen. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve been asked out by some pretty interesting people and have promptly said no thank you. I’m a lady first and foremost. I’m not a prude at all, but for the most part, true TGs and CDs are not those who just jump right into action at the first sign of want. We do have standards, basic qualifications to meet before saying let’s go. I mean that for the most part of our community and of other sisters I’ve spoken with on the subject, they agree there’s at least some level of mutual understanding that needs to be met.
Best wishes, love and hugs,