Have you ever felt misunderstood?
Sadly, there’s a lot of ignorance out there! That’s why in this blog post, I want to debunk common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
Let’s start with one of the biggest misconceptions that’s unfortunately still hanging around:
Myth: Transgender women, crossdressers, and drag queens are all the same.
While all these are valid ways of expressing one’s gender, they represent distinct groups, and it’s important not to use these terms interchangeably.
To clarify, here’s how the GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines some common transgender terms:
- Transgender women – People who were assigned male at birth but who identify as women. Many transgender women are prescribed hormones or undergo surgery, but transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.
- Crossdressers – Men, typically heterosexual men, who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories associated with women. This activity is a form of gender expression and is not done for entertainment purposes. Crossdressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.
- Drag queens – Men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment.
- Gender non-conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.
- Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of male and female. The term is not a synonym for transgender and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
Now that the record has been set straight, let’s look at some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
7 Myths About Transgender Women
- Being transgender is a choice.
- Transgender people are gay.
- Transgender women aren’t “real” women.
- Your sex is defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
- You have to have surgery to be a “real” transgender person.
- You aren’t transgender until you start hormone therapy.
- Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender.
7 Myths About Crossdressers
- Crossdressers are gay.
- Crossdressers are perverts.
- Crossdressing is a psychological problem.
- Crossdressing can be cured.
- Crossdressers want to change their sex.
- Crossdressing is a destructive addiction.
- Crossdressers can’t be good husbands or fathers.
Have you heard any of these myths before? They’re frustrating and hurtful, aren’t they? It’s time for the world to wake up and realize this truth:
Your gender is who you are on the inside. There are countless ways to express your gender, and all are completely valid!
To help spread this truth, check out these excellent resources from GLAAD below. They’re a great way to increase awareness about transgender issues.
Recommended Resources from GLAAD
Now let’s hear from you…
What’s the truth that YOU’D like to set straight? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I am soooo beyond ecstatic right now because I can absolutely identify as transgendered! I have always felt my femininity from a very young age, and knew that I was different from everyone else. I have dressed off and on since I was about 8. Unfortunately I I got caught in mom’s bedroom in full regalia and the verbal attack I received afterward hurt far worse than any beating I would rather have endured. I moved forward, broken and confused, and my life went on as masculine as I could muster, and I kept all femininity buried inside. I got married, had kids, and even work a physical job. I have only recently had a spiritual awakening, and now realize I have to follow my soul, and she will guide me. But, even still, I never dreamed I’d be able to call myself anything other than crossdresser because I was under the misconception that being transgendered required surgery and hormones. Thank you Lucille, not only for setting me straight (pun intended lol), but for providing a forum for me to be me.
I have been a cross dresser since the age of 14, but always led in the outside world a male life and existence, and would have not wanted it another way. I am more empathetic because I am girly. I love the soft touch of materials, the opportunity to wear colors and clothes that make me feel sexy and feminine. Of course its fun as well. The palaver of make up, the effort to mimic gestures, walk, look, etc without asking for sexual reconstruction that for me has never been the answer, though might have been an aim once, a long time ago. I went to the Venice Carnivale in 1976 as a woman, and after the first night of terror had a wonderful week with a girlfriend who played in the same vein. So Ive benefitted from my interests. Love Chrissy
Chrissy I couldn’t agree with you more. The feeling of soft materials on my skin can only be compared to being held softly by a soft skinned women. I do admit here to you that a breast would make my life complete without the other extra equipment. Love Lillian
I am a transwoman. I’ve been on hormones for almost 5months now. I’ve been married to my wife for 2 months. While on our honeymoon, I was approached for coming out of the women’s bathroom. This lady was very distraught that I used the women’s bathroom. Knowing I was in the position of powe , since I was in the doorway, I decided to educate this woman on what its like to have a tiny taste of G.I.D. She continued to do a bit of a potty dance while I continued knowing that I had her full attention. Was it rude for me to do this. Yes, but the end result was she got a taste of the confusion I fought with my whole life until I took it to heart and did something about it. After that incident she found me (we were on a cruise ship) and we continued our conversation under the eclipse at 2 a.m. We covered every topic you laid out in this article. I told her just because I was born a man doesn’t mean that I have to abide by society’s version of a man when I feel like I’m lying to myself. My wife has been with me every step of the way and has underwent a transformation in her life style as well. She now sees herself more as a pansexual then anything else. I see myself the same way. We got married in a courthouse in front of a lot of peers. We attend church which has came to accept me as a child of God and has had nothing but kind words and encouragement for the pair of us. I do intend on having the GRS done but the fact remains that I’m a woman regardless of what’s between my legs. I’ve been full time since my first Doctors appointment for hrt and haven’t felt better about myself. I’ve suppressed my dysphoria for half my life and knew I wasn’t a male for a lot longer then that. I live in an ultra conservative part of the country and even though I get looks I just shrug them off cause in being true to who I am. No one else has to accept me. My wife, my daughter, my wife’s kids and myself are the important ones to accept me and each and everyone of them does and that’s what’s important to me. I can’t control anyone’s opinions of me so all I can do is educate the masses and let them decide for themselves.
Why praytell is “crossdressing” only used as a label for men? Women have been crossdressing for decades and no one ever cares: They wear pants, suit coats, ties, baseball hats, T-shirts, drive pick up trucks, and a dozen other things that traditionally “belong to” men, and yet there is never any similar label on them. Yet a guy puts on even so much as a pink shirt with a flower on, and look what happens.
Women started wearing things like pants when in part they needed them for many formerly men-only jobs: Can you imagine what would have happened if women would be crawling up ladders or under sinks with skirts?! But to this day, if a guy lets everyone know he wears “women’s” tights to keep warm in the winter he instantly gets labeled a crossdresser even if it may simply be just to stay warm! (Just as 1 example.) Where did this huge double standard ever start? :/
You see, this is a point I’ve always made. If you look back at history men and women always wore their own clothes, which were usually totally different. It’s only really since about the 60s that women started wearing men’s styles, and now it’s so common that we are just used to it and don’t really notice. But it wasn’t always like this, because when some women back in the 20s started wearing men’s suits, it was seen as outrageous, unacceptable, and a threat to society – they were in effect seen as crossdressers.
Society as just become used to seeing women walking around in their husbands sweater or boyfriends tee shirt.
Hello
My name is Jasmine. I do look as myself to be transgender. I live full time as a women.Like a lot of the other girls. It was a battle when I was younger. In my case it was not the norm. People thought you were sick and made fun of us. Through out the years it has been much easier(Still not where it should be but better). The best advice that I would give is to always be true to yourself and to others. On who your are. And most of all help others. Way to many people think of themself as sick. And not get help. Please LOVE and BE LOVED. Best of luck to all my sister’s out there. And thanks a ton Lucille for all you do.
Luv
Jasmine
I am a transgender woman. I live as a woman full time and totally. I am a man’s wife and a housewife and my Husband and I are legally married but its ‘Same Sex’ and it is legal. We do not consider it same sex and as a marriage between a man and a woman, I am the woman. I function as a woman in every way. We married at a gay wedding chapel in Las Vegas and had our honeymoon there. I was a bride in a white wedding dress. I love being a ‘married woman’, for 4 years now almost 5.
All my life I felt feminine but it was difficult. I went from being a girl when I was younger on into womanhood after I got older. I still have my male genitals but I also have breasts, 38C bra size. I do not have anything male left anymore, at all. When I get dressed I ‘HAVE’ to get dressed as a woman cuz that’s all the clothes I have. I am totally committed to being a woman.
I am happy in my life and would not do anything to change it! Husband takes me out and I always pass as a woman and no one has ever questioned my true bio gender. To me my true gender is female.
Hi Julie_Lisa I envy the fact that you have breast. Something I’ve been wanting for a long while. Having someone that supports you is so important to your well being. That’s something I wish I had but all I get is ridecule from my family. If it wasn’t for my daughter I’d be the loneliest person on the planet. You have inspired me to be me and be happy, thank you. Love Lillian!
Sounds like you have it made! Lucky for you and your husband. I’m not married, but have been dating a guy who treats me like a queen. I am always in female attire when we go out. So much fun!
I’m very happy for you. You are a very lucky woman. Wish I’d had half the courage you have years ago. I would have loved to be the wife of a caring husband.
Brilliant, love the story….
Thanks so much; Lillian, Suzy, Ellie and Bev. I deeply appreciate your your comments, they make me feel so much more like a woman.
Hello ,
I am a 65 year old transgendered woman. This label comes after a period of reflection on whether i’m Simply a crossdresser or indeed transgendered. I love being and going out as Michelle. I love shopping, I love getting professionally made up and hanging out with trans friends. And yet I still work as a man and keep my feminine side from family. In a perfect world I would be Michelle most of the time but I don’t feel that happening.
Not exactly sure how to go forward.
Michelle
I know exactly how you feel. It’s my same situation.
Hi Michelle!
Now that you mention it, one time I complimented my boss on how lovely her heels were and she gave me an odd look. Felt pretty embarrassed.
Hello Ellie,
Do you find your girl side blending into your male side? I do. It doesn’t upset me but I wonder how it effects my co-workers. Right now I would love some girlfriends to hang out with
Michelle
I am a crossdresser. I love wearing womens clothes and occasionally get professional make up. I met a group of girls at a skin studio that accept me and love to help me. I walk in as a guy ans walk out as a beautiful woman. Yes its sexual to a degree but its so much more than that its unexplainable. I just have to dress whether full or partial all the time. When i go out in public i will wear skinny jeans, waist trainer, and a girls top not to mention the panties and on occasion a bra. The only time i wear a dress in public is when i get my pro makeup and then my only exposure is to my new girl friends and they do a photo shoot for me, then the challenge of driving home and walking to my apartment. Exciting. I am not gay, am married and have 2 sons. I have a great career. My wife and I dont always see eye to eye. I am hoping to find a girl who will want to spend some intimate time with a person like me. I am attaching a pic from a recent makeup session. Thank you for giving people like us a sounding board to unload and get the facts out.
Rainey
Hey Rainey, You are very pretty you look so awesome. I have to put up with a lot of comments from my ex. I have not come out into the open as a crossdresser but to one friend. She’s such a dear for accepting me as I am. She’s the one person I can talk to and feel open to. I wish I looked as beautiful as yourself but I would need a lot of facial work to look as pretty. If it wasn’t for Lucille I would be alone except for having that one friend. Love Lillian!