Have you ever felt misunderstood?
Sadly, there’s a lot of ignorance out there! That’s why in this blog post, I want to debunk common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
Let’s start with one of the biggest misconceptions that’s unfortunately still hanging around:
Myth: Transgender women, crossdressers, and drag queens are all the same.
While all these are valid ways of expressing one’s gender, they represent distinct groups, and it’s important not to use these terms interchangeably.
To clarify, here’s how the GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines some common transgender terms:
- Transgender women – People who were assigned male at birth but who identify as women. Many transgender women are prescribed hormones or undergo surgery, but transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.
- Crossdressers – Men, typically heterosexual men, who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories associated with women. This activity is a form of gender expression and is not done for entertainment purposes. Crossdressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.
- Drag queens – Men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment.
- Gender non-conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.
- Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of male and female. The term is not a synonym for transgender and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
Now that the record has been set straight, let’s look at some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
7 Myths About Transgender Women
- Being transgender is a choice.
- Transgender people are gay.
- Transgender women aren’t “real” women.
- Your sex is defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
- You have to have surgery to be a “real” transgender person.
- You aren’t transgender until you start hormone therapy.
- Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender.
7 Myths About Crossdressers
- Crossdressers are gay.
- Crossdressers are perverts.
- Crossdressing is a psychological problem.
- Crossdressing can be cured.
- Crossdressers want to change their sex.
- Crossdressing is a destructive addiction.
- Crossdressers can’t be good husbands or fathers.
Have you heard any of these myths before? They’re frustrating and hurtful, aren’t they? It’s time for the world to wake up and realize this truth:
Your gender is who you are on the inside. There are countless ways to express your gender, and all are completely valid!
To help spread this truth, check out these excellent resources from GLAAD below. They’re a great way to increase awareness about transgender issues.
Recommended Resources from GLAAD
Now let’s hear from you…
What’s the truth that YOU’D like to set straight? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
Thanks for the clear and insightful clarification. I’m a man who likes to wear feminine clothes on occasion, and I feel much better about it having read this blog. Thanks again!
I liked your post. I fooled myself for years running from who I really am. I would dress and then feel guilty, until the next day. I realized I wanted to fit who I am and finally admitted I am happily transgender and would love more than having a woman’s body. Enjoy you fun
Hi Lucille. I am new here so let me begin by saying that I still don’t even know how I would classify myself. I am 50 years old, very athletic, very muscular, and by no means do I deny my masculinity. I have had a fascination with women’s clothing since I was a small child, but I have spent a lifetime trying to deny my femininity. Yes, there have always been times when I indulged in my desires to feel like a woman, but they were always followed by feelings of extreme guilt and shame. As my need to feel my femininity progressed into adulthood I began to buy women’s clothing and lingerie to fulfill that inner need to express my femininity but always ended up throwing these items away vowing to never do it again. I was miserable. So, for the past two years I have vowed to let my womanhood exist peacefully and even gave myself the name Annie. My newfound freedom has brought me the happiness that I have denied myself for so long. I have also accepted the fact that I am bisexual and although my first preference is still my attraction to females, I do love the attention of men. When a man compliments me, or better yet flirts with me, I feel sexy and beautiful. So I have never felt the desire to make the complete change into womanhood, but recently I have found myself thinking about it. I do know if I really want to say goodbye to my male self, but nothing compares to how I feel when I am Annie. I am not confused. My life as a cross dresser has been a progression and and if there ever comes a time when I feel that a transformation is the right thing, then I will follow my heart. I’m not sure if there’s a label for that.
Hi Annie! First of all you look so beautiful and so sweet. I can’t believe you are 50 years old. 🙂 I’m 24 years old and I have been denying my feminine self since I was 11 years old. Especially after my ejaculation i feel so shame and I want to forget my girly side.. I wanted to comment just because I feel we are experiencing the same thing.. nowadays I found a sissy course that helps me to embrace my real self and I follow all the instructions as they tell me. I’m so curious where that all will lead me but I’m so happy expressing myself in the girly mode. Hope I will find the strength to accept who I am before I lost more years of my life. Xx
Hi Annie, Hey gurl love your pics here, very pretty and sexy lady you are… (smiling)
Hugs and Kisses,
Harry
I have been attracted to feminine attributes all my life, and as i got older I gave myself permission to explore my female side. I present myself as a male in open society and at work, while being female once or twice a week in public and in private. I have a Boy Friend and have been together for 14 years, while I have a Girl Friend for over 10. So who or what is normal? Certainly no sane person would ever choose to be both. as it is way too much work. I do know expressing my feminine side has made me a better person, especially a better male.
Joyce
Two simultaneous relationships: One as Male and One as Female.
(Both as YOU)
Touche’
Lucille,
Unfortunately, you comments are correct. I have been a crossdresser since I was a young boy. I felt happy (still do) “dressing up”. But when my aunt saw me, her response was typical for where I lived. I was judged and asked “What is wrong with you!” It is far easier for our culture to judge a person than it is to try and understand and love them. I have learned from that experience. Crossdressing has made me more understanding, and far less judgmental.
Thanks for this great site!
Barbara Jane
I am happy to be back and trade story’s with my friends
I am a heterosexual Male. A few months ago I lost my best friend, she was very sick for many years and I was her sole caretaker. After she died the part of me that was left behind disgusted me and only dug me deeper into depression. I searched a long time looking for something that made me feel better about myself. Forget about pleasing everybody else, I did that my entire life. Now it was my turn to make me happy. I searched entire web sites looking at mens clothing and hating everything. So I started looking thru womans clothing sites and it sparked an interest so I ran with it. I have acquired a fair collection of clothing and shoes. I particularly love the shoes. I taught myself to do my pedi’s and now I proudly go out in public dressed in clothes prettier than myself. To date I have had no negative comments only positive. Occassionally I get a look but it just makes me laugh. I do suppress this side for work although I still keep my earrings in. But my time is My Time and I feel good about myself now. I take much better care of myself because of it. To me this is a win win.
Dear Lucille & Trans friends: The first book that I read related to the myths about Crossdressers, Transgenderism was called: True Selves by Mildred L. Brown & Chloe Ann Rounsley. Understanding Transexualism. I read it twice, covers The Transexual dilemma, Childhood, teen,Adult years, Getting Therapy,beginning the transition, transition in the work place, Bringing the news home ( coming out) to friends & relatives, Medical & Surgical Options, Guidelines for support & finally “In their own Words plus a resource guide. I hope that this & other textbooks are a helpful resource to all. Robin Jennifer: Wilmington, Delaware
Wow, I just spent about 30 minutes making a post about age and being who you are. I sent it and got an error message saying my e mail address was not legit ….Ouch. The same address is included in this message.