Have you ever felt misunderstood?
Sadly, there’s a lot of ignorance out there! That’s why in this blog post, I want to debunk common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
Let’s start with one of the biggest misconceptions that’s unfortunately still hanging around:
Myth: Transgender women, crossdressers, and drag queens are all the same.
While all these are valid ways of expressing one’s gender, they represent distinct groups, and it’s important not to use these terms interchangeably.
To clarify, here’s how the GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines some common transgender terms:
- Transgender women – People who were assigned male at birth but who identify as women. Many transgender women are prescribed hormones or undergo surgery, but transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.
- Crossdressers – Men, typically heterosexual men, who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories associated with women. This activity is a form of gender expression and is not done for entertainment purposes. Crossdressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.
- Drag queens – Men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment.
- Gender non-conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.
- Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of male and female. The term is not a synonym for transgender and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
Now that the record has been set straight, let’s look at some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
7 Myths About Transgender Women
- Being transgender is a choice.
- Transgender people are gay.
- Transgender women aren’t “real” women.
- Your sex is defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
- You have to have surgery to be a “real” transgender person.
- You aren’t transgender until you start hormone therapy.
- Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender.
7 Myths About Crossdressers
- Crossdressers are gay.
- Crossdressers are perverts.
- Crossdressing is a psychological problem.
- Crossdressing can be cured.
- Crossdressers want to change their sex.
- Crossdressing is a destructive addiction.
- Crossdressers can’t be good husbands or fathers.
Have you heard any of these myths before? They’re frustrating and hurtful, aren’t they? It’s time for the world to wake up and realize this truth:
Your gender is who you are on the inside. There are countless ways to express your gender, and all are completely valid!
To help spread this truth, check out these excellent resources from GLAAD below. They’re a great way to increase awareness about transgender issues.
Recommended Resources from GLAAD
Now let’s hear from you…
What’s the truth that YOU’D like to set straight? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
Hi Lucille, It is sometimes a brutal world out there so many people cannot accept a person as they are. I have been crossdressing since I was 6 . I love to be dressed as a woman and treated as one when I do. I can be very rugged also I do drive a truck for the past 34 years LOL. dont let people bully you or put you down I have seen it happen to women and men alike. If i see it happening I will approach a person and ask what they are doing. they stop afterwards. They are aggressive because they had things happen to them growing up.I think people should be able to live without scorn and putting down . I frimly believe in karma. and what goes around comes around I have 3 beautiful grown kids I had with my first wife. I met my second wife doing a show for a friend still married happily . Each of us have to find that beauty in us and try to love ourselves as we are we can change ourselves to love ourselves and others as we are or walk away not putting down a person. Life is to short to focus on negativity.Focus on positive things you willnot use so much energy and have that extra energy to try on clothes . Yes womens clothes I find it hard to get my nails or pedicure done or an arm waxing LOL.Forget myths dont focus on the negativity of others just positive . If a person has nothing nice they should keep it to themselves.To everyone Happiest Safe beautiful holiday season.Love to all Mandy
I hate all myths, what I am is a straight woman in a man’s body. And Cassandra got it spot on. But if I met a man told him I was born a man it would be like all the stupid things that society do when they don’t understand. Wish that it would be possible to teach people about it and they would be more accepting.
Obviously, I hate all the myths, but the one that constantly bugs me (maybe because it’s the one I live with every day, dressed or not) is the assumption that a man dressed like a woman or with feminine treats (like the painted nails, lipstick or earrings) likes men and want to get laid with every one they see.
I, personally, like women, I always have. And my gender identity is not tied to it. You may consider me a lesbian, ironically.
It seems that in the mind of people, if a man dresses as a woman, then it’s because he likes men and try to compensate the difference (by assuming a feminine role). Wich, by the way, it’s not true; in my experience, being woman (in MtF case) is something so natural, that it doesn’t touch at all the orientation, because I may like women or men, or both, or none, and it doesn’t mean I’m not a girl.
The sad thing is, even other transgender people also believe this myth, as I found many assumed by default that I like men just because I dress as a woman.
“Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender”
Ohh boy, I knew I was since I was 6 years old. And many other transgendered people I know (even crossdressers) knew it also since they were kids.
I think we all know what we are since early our childhood. The real problem here is that there is not ….. education …. ont his matter, and (as a kid) the conflict between the “i feel like this” that you have, and the “you were born [boy/girl] and you should behave like it” that we are imposed is really difficult to sort out. It’s not that kids doesn’t know if they are transgender, it’s that most times we don’t know there’s something called “gender identity” and that any person can be transgender.
Well you made some good points. For me it is about when you are watching some event on TV where some girl is getting or presenting an award and you say that looks just like a man also I see it in everyday life where I come across women who have short hair and what there wearing looks like it came from the men’s section of the store. That is just the way I feel. Like you said there are many reasons why a woman whear’s something that look like it is for a man.
Well said The one thing that bother’s me is if a Girl dresses up as a man the world does not do or say a thing Why can’t it go both ways.
That is a little tricky matter.
Women that dress like man can be took in different ways in society, depending on the explicit intention of the particular person.
I mean, if the woman in question uses clothing designed for women but that looks like men clothing (like suits or neckties and such), it will be all right, because “she” isn’t trying to be a man, “it’s just some kind of fashion”.
On the other hand, I have a FtM friend, and he told me that a couple times he tried to buy men clothing (designed for men and supposed to be wore by men) and met negative reactions. One time he tried to buy some underwear on a flea market, and the clerk said “that’s for men, FOR MEN, not for you” [you may guess he went out of there instantly].
If people think that a girl that uses men clothes is NOT trying to be a men, depending on the person, they may consider her just a woman using clothing similar to a man’s; but if for some reason they think “she” is trying to be a man, then they may call that woman by any insult they may think.
Same can be said the other way around (think that a man dressing as a woman is not always seen with bad eyes, like a comedy resource or for an actor on a stage play or movie), it all comes to the “explicit intention” people judge on other people upon seeing them.
Obviously, for MtF the cases in which is accepted to see a “crossdressed” person [I mean, even if that particular individual is transgender instead] are more limited than those for FtM, but I think it still boils down to what people think is your motivation for doing it (which is why they usually judge us wrong, after all, what the *bleep* wil they know about our motivation?).
Anyway, thanks for your reply 🙂 and have a nice day.
Education. Totally spot on. I also knew when I was younger that I was different to everyone else that I knew but I didn’t know how to deal with it. So I did what I thought was appropriate, denial and lie not just to myself but to everyone else as well.
Society is slowly (very slowly) accepting transgender now that it has come more open to the public but there I am sure still many young children out there that could have the same issue that I had when growing up. Not knowing that being this is acceptable and that something can be done about it.
This could be addressed in like Sex Ed or something at school because for me learning all about sex really wasn’t an issue at that age but if they added on to the program other things for example homosexuality and transgenderism. I am sure a lot more kids would benefit from this learning. It could also help those who do not have either etc to understand these much better.
I can totally relate to that! [Well I’m sure a big portion of us will].
I knew I wanted to use cute dresses and wear make up since I was 6, and constantly I daydreamed about ways I could become a woman [from the classic “I whish I was born a girl”, to the “I need a genie right now” and things like that].
One day I saw a tv show in which they had an interview with a transexual person, to talk about the SRS. That day changed me for ever, because until then I didn’t know there actually was a procedure to become a woman. I believe that happened about 6 or 7 years after I started dressing.
But the problem always were that it “wasn’t natural for men to try to be women” because you’re told that if you have a pennis you are a boy and you have to use boy’s clothes, and you have to play with boy’s toys, and you have to do what boys do, and you can’t use girl’s clothes, or play with girl’s toys or do what girls do.
And so, I wasted almost 20 years of my life rejecting who I really am. Until one day, 2 years and a half ago, in which it exploded in my face and I had to accept myself (the happiest decision I ever made).
BTW, I agree with you, if it depended on me I would include in the sexual education program several lessons about sexual orientation and gender identity.
But the sad thing is (besides the fact it doesn’t depend on me) that people is soooooo coward and ignorant, that a large majority of parents (and teachers) would fear that just by telling the kids about the existence of homosexuality and transgenderism/transexualism would make them “go gay” or “become crossdresser” [understand it as a fear that just telling them may “change” them from “normal” kids to “derailed” kids or something].
We know that doesn’t work that way, we are what we are, and it’s better if we understand it ASAP, but sadly people blindly believes the first myth: they think above all that this is a choice, and they aren’t willing to give their children that choice.
I don’t believe I’ll live to see the day when I would see the class roll for my kids and look they’re seeing transgenderism on school, but all in all I think people is quickly accepting the idea now [just remember that in thousands of years it wasn’t really any acceptance for crossdressing, and in just some decades there’s been enough advance for me to go to the market completely en femme without being burned for heresy].
Very well said Cassandra. It’s nice to know there is someone else out there like me. I deeply thank you.
There’s nothing to be thanked 🙂
Im sure we aren’t the only ones out there 😉
Seems everyone hates being labelled, seems everyone hates being judged, but we allways seem to judge & label someone. Why?
Lucille, I love what you try to achieve, but most of us girls are to chicken to be a chick. We can only change opinions when we are there. Out there, on the streets, in supermarkets, gardens, bars, restaurants and at home opening the door as we are.
Transgenders don’t want the world to know they are transgender. Crossdressers don’t want the world to know they are crossdressing.
Even normal people don’t want the world to know they are who or what they are.
Thank me I’m proud for being what I am. Not normal
Lucille, I love you for saying this! Thank you!! XO 🙂
In case these haven’t been mentioned yet, may I suggest a couple more Top Myths?
re M2F trans and CDs:
That we want to rape or molest (or ogle in the ladies’/locker room) cisgender women or girls while “in disguise;” or trick them — or straight men — into having sex with us.
And, re trans women:
That we only want to transition because we couldn’t “cut it as men” or are nothing more complicated or worthy than “failed men.”
That we represent all but a few trans people; i.e., that nearly all trans people are M2Fs, ignoring F2Ms. [This one tends to reinforce the one above.]
That any men we might date are, unbeknownst to themselves, gay men. And if they’re not, they’re entirely justified in harming us in any way they wish, up to and including death and desecration in cold blood.
That as trans we’re inherently mentally ill, unstable, promiscuous or unacceptably mercenary; suicidal, “tragic,” and/or unhealthily secretive … rather than persecuted and just trying to survive (on a good day).
That surgical transition is something new since the 1960s or 1900s, “The Sexual Revolution,” or “radicalism;” experimental, not very helpful, even “enabling,” inordinately risky, “merely cosmetic,” even usually disfiguring, “addictive,” ripe for outlawing, an inappropriate danger to insurers’ profit margins or other customers’ premiums or the solvency of social healthcare programs or government budgets, impulsive, kinky, usually or unacceptably-frequently regretted, or usually/always deserving of judgment or micro-managing by gatekeepers/politicians/opposition groups/prurient newsmedia/strangers on the street/online/in-print.
————————-
This last one might not be a Top one necessarily, but it’s fresh in my mind since being recently brought home to me by http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/24/jennifer-gable-transgender_n_6212900.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592:
****That our next-of-kin are and even should be free to dispose of our mortal remains as they see fit, even if it clearly contradicts our wishes; or that we should have to “lawyer up” in preparation for dying! The Final Insult/Rejection/Denial/Disownment!!
It even inspired a Comment and a fascinating link from yours truly if anyone’s interested:
Here’s another myth that I loathe: men who date trans-women are gay. A man who’s only turned on by a woman’s body is straight, until he sleeps with a woman who used to have a male body? Stupidity certainly isn’t in short supply on this planet! I think this myth is one of the things that make men fear dating trans-women, as they’re obssessed with their perceived heterosexuality in society.
Watch a movie “A soldier’s girl” with a beautiful Calpernia Adams in the main role. It based on real events.
“Pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere out in space,
‘cos there’s bugger all down here on Earth”
– Monty Python, Galaxy Song from The Meaning of Life.
Well I’m very impressed by all of the spot on comments. Who better than us has any way of knowing what is right for us and how we feel. Thank you Lucille for getting the discussion going on this subject you are a God send to us all. I would give anything to have been born in the body that matches my mind and soul. There is only one thing worse than having to deal with the challenges of being born a woman and that is being born a woman in a man’s body. My every day starts with regret once I look in the mirror.
Having lived a life ruled by these “Myths” has robbed me of many years that could have been happier and more fulfilling. I am now changing the mistakes that have held me back. Good luck to all of us girls and may the new year bring much happiness to all.
You go gurl don’t be imprisoned by what others think. After all who knows what is right for you better than you.
Thanks for the kind thoughts, but as so many others have stated, all of us are struggling to break free. I see it this way, we are not trapped in a single cell but in a series of cells that require more and more strength to rid our self the myths that have been beaten into us all our lives. Not only do we have to overcome our fears about all the people in our lives and how they will react but we must also have to overcome all the conditioning that has held us back to this point. The support we get from Lucille and the other girls on this blog are a great source of strength in our fight to be who we really are inside and out.