What’s the secret to creating a convincing feminine image?
Clothes, shoes, hair, and makeup are important, but my #1 femininity tip has nothing to do with ANY of these.
I’ll give you one clue …
It’s something you should be doing ALL the time (even if you are in guy mode).
Curious?
My #1 femininity tip for crossdressers and MTF transgender women is to STUDY OTHER WOMEN.
Your best femininity teachers are the women around you. You should constantly observe women when you are out in public – as well as when you watch TV or movies.
The more you study women, the more you’ll pick up on the subtle things that make somebody feminine and attractive.
Pay extra close attention when a woman catches your eye in a positive way. (Without creeping her out, of course!) Try to pinpoint what it is that makes her so appealing.
Specifically notice:
- What she’s wearing. (A dress, pants, flats, heels, etc.)
- What her style is. (Classic, trendy, girly, etc.)
- How much makeup she’s wearing. (Is she wearing lipstick? How heavy is her eye makeup?)
- Her body language. (Does she cross her legs or place her hands on her hips? How’s her posture?)
- How she moves her body. (Are her movements soft and subtle or big and bold?)
- How she interacts with others. (Is she bubbly and outgoing or quiet and mysterious?)
Aside from picking up femininity cues that you can incorporate into your own behavior, use this as a guideline for how women in your area present themselves.
Remember, if you want to “blend in” with the women around you, your clothes, hair, and makeup should be a similar style.
I also suggest paying attention to women who attract your attention in a BAD way. Notice what turns you off so you can avoid this in your own behavior and appearance.
(Who knows? Maybe some of these women will later look to you as an example of ladylike beauty!)
Now I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on this topic. What have you learned from observing other women?
Please share with me in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. Want to learn 10 more ways to become more feminine? Click here for free instant access to my Top 10 Secrets for Passing or Blending In as a Woman video.
Hardly an overlooked tip as it comes up fairly frequently on the TG forums and probably needs to be qualified, Lucille. My wife and I were people watching at the mall the other day (this was a luxury mall)and maybe one in every ten women was well put together. You know it when you see it. Many times you can tell when an outfit doesn’t resonate – you just don’t know why.
Better idea would be to create a look book of outfits that you like. Maybe compare it to what you see around you. Probably your better dressed women are the sales girls in the shops’
For years I subscribed to the philosophy to blend in. Not so much now because we may not anyway. Better to stand out in a good way and be the person they admired for being a sharp dresser whatever your personal style may be
I don’t think it’s an overlooked tip either, but a lot of times people don’t know what to look for. That’s why I broke it down into specifics and suggested noticing what attracts your attention in a good *and* bad way.
And I agree about standing out in a good way! I actually talk about the “blending in” vs. “standing out” debate here:
https://feminizationsecrets.com/transgender-blend-in-stand-out-woman/
Thanks for the enlightening thoughts! 🙂
But you didn’t take a position 🙂
I remember you giving this tip before and it is so true that even Ciswomen and Cisgirls are always checking each other out. The worse group are teenage girls and that is because they are trying to learn how to be a women themselves. Lets face it who is the most apt to out you in public but a teenage girl. I found that I am always looking and learning on how to be a woman and I have now been living full time for over three years. I will say it is not much more easy for me to be that woman I truly am.
Great advise… Thanks Lucille!
And… Don’t forget, if your happy, a spring in your step, a smile on your face, and confident, you’ll do great, no mater how you present. Most everyone loves a happy person. It’s a positive energy that can help change another person’s day for the better.
I couldn’t agree more, Steve!
Even though we are no longer together, I have taken wardrobe tips from my ex. She was always dressed tastefully and elegantly outside the house, whether is was a pair of slacks and a silk blouse or a dress and heels she was polished, fashionable and refined. And yes, she even had many different pairs of shoes with colors and styles to match a particular outfit. In fact, in the 80’s when they were available, she even had her daywear match an outfit. She had bras, panties and slips in colors such as peach, lavender, red, of course, navy, etc. etc. In building my wardrobe, I have taken points from her’s.
I have found that going to the mall gives you the opportunity to “girl watch” to see how they carry themselves. Of course you can tell immediately the well dressed and elegant person from the “slob.” It kills me inside to see a genetic woman who doesn’t take the time or the effort to take care of herself. Typically, when a woman goes through the effort to look and dress nicely, their confidence and self esteem goes through the roof! I hope I am able to emulate that type of woman.
Thank you Lucille for your effort in providing these tips and products to help us transition.
Deb
Yeah Baby ! That’s how always did it. My wife even said I had good taste. Maybe that’s why there’s so many men designers.
I agree it’s the best type of schooling for trans-women. For me personally a lot of my being feminine is attributed to my observation of genetic females. Many of my best relationships have been with women, platonic and respectful. I have had women even give me outfits and jewelry.
Thanks Lucille for this most overlooked tip which I have been fortunate enough to use myself, and continue to do it everyday.
You are looking stylish and pretty!
Thanks Holly!
That is a great tip.
Before, during, and after my transition I was lucky enough to work in offices where the men outnumbered women at least three to one. So I got lots of good and a few not so good examples of what to adopt in my own presentation.
By watching other women, I learned that there is a way to be casual, but stylish. I also learned that if you are tall, act like you’re proud of it. One of the best compliments I ever got came from a young woman in an aerobics class who told me “you’re the envy of everyone in here!”
How fun, you look great. I would of never know you transitioned from your picture. At what age did you transition? might be hope for me yet someday.
Thank you.
And I meant that the women outnumbered the men three to one at places where I worked.
I started my transition at the age of 28, but it took me a long time because I was so scared.
Lucille, that is a marvelous tip and it is something I always try to do!!
Thank you, and that’s great! 🙂