Becoming your best female self is more than just your clothes, hair, and makeup. It’s also about how you talk, walk, and carry yourself with confidence.
That’s why I wanted to share some crossdressing / transgender tips that go beyond the basics.
In this blog post, I’ll share 10 dos and don’ts to help make your MTF transformation or transition a success. Let’s dive in!
1. DON’T Compare Yourself to Others
There’s no winning the comparison game. Comparing yourself to cisgender women or other trans women or crossdressers will only make you miserable.
This isn’t a competition. Instead, focus on being your own best female self.
2. DO Find Female Role Models
While you shouldn’t compare yourself to other transgender or cisgender women, it IS a good idea to observe and learn from them.
When you see somebody who looks especially good, observe the details. How does she dress, speak, move, and behave?
You don’t want to be a copycat, but it can be helpful to incorporate some of these details into your own image.
3. DO Invest in Great Shapewear
The shape of your body broadcasts your gender, so it’s a great idea to invest in quality shapewear. This is even more important than splurging on expensive clothes!
Here are the essential shapewear pieces you may want to own:
- Breast forms in an ideal shape/size for your body
- Waist cincher or corset
- Padded panties (with butt and hip padding)
- Control top pantyhose
4. DON’T Forget Your Voice
There’s nothing quite as jarring as a beautifully made up woman with a voice that doesn’t match.
While you don’t need to have a perfect voice, working on improving your feminine voice can help you create a more congruent image.
Check out my blog post on Top 12 MTF Voice Training Resources For Your Transgender Voice Transition to learn more.
5. DO Dress Age Appropriately
It’s always a good idea to dress appropriately for your age, but this does NOT mean you have to look boring or frumpy after a certain age.
The key is to choose clothes and accessories that make you look your best – without looking too young or too mature.
To learn more, check out my post on How to Dress Sexy at Any Age: 3 Crossdressing / MTF Fashion Tips.
6. DON’T Overdo It
The biggest mistake you can make is overdoing it. This applies to all women!
Wearing too much makeup, dressing too sexily, and over-exaggerating your body movements are mistakes that can attract the wrong kind of attention. Instead, think subtle and stylish.
7. DO Get a Second Opinion
Seeing ourselves objectively can be tough. That’s why having a trusted friend for a second opinion is important.
If you don’t have a friend nearby, consider checking out transgender or crossdressing forums, or Facebook groups. They’re great places to ask questions and receive helpful feedback.
And guess what? Our blog has an amazing, supportive community too! Feel free to share your photos or questions below – the lovely ladies here would be happy to provide feedback.
8. DO Seek Support
Whether you crossdress in private or live as a woman full time, you deserve to be supported.
This could mean a lot of different things – from coming out to a partner, joining a support or peer group, finding a therapist, or just connecting with others online.
Being supported makes the journey a lot less lonely – and way more fun!
9. DO Practice Your Moves
Your body language and movements communicate more about you than almost anything else. Pay attention to your movements by keeping them fluid and feminine.
Check out these articles for more tips:
- 7 Tips for Feminizing Your Body Movements
- Trans / Crossdresser Heels: How to Walk in High Heels (7 Dos and Don’ts)
10. DON’T Forget To Have Fun
Whether you’re at home or in public, being a woman is supposed to be fun!
Drop the guilt, the comparisons, and the need for perfection and enjoy being the fabulous woman that you are!
What are YOUR top dos and don’ts?
Now that you’ve seen my list, what are YOUR top dos and don’ts? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
Well for me I have been full time female séance 2010 2011 and everything is all natural for me now. But the thing I hate the most I see almost on an every day basis, is people sis gendered or not is showing of to much of your bodies. Especially the breasts people showing to much these days. Even wearing to tight clothing even when someone has a few extra pounds on there bodies. Dress fore your are age not the age you want to be is how I feel. There is a saying a quote I heard many years ago back in December 2012.
” Your dress should be tight enough to show you’re a women and loose enough to show you’re a lady.” -Edith Head
And that’s how I feel all women should dress. The people I have seen dressed like that look so much sexier, cute, And modest but not to the point its to fare. So about me this is how I look now séance being on 6mg of estradiol 200mg of spironolactone 10mg of midroxy progesterone acetate for ten days of the month this to create a normal female hormone cycle last year in my pic.
Hello, I do live as a woman full time and totally. I pass in everyday life as a woman. I have friends that are like me and we are women in our circle. I have been living as a female as much as I can much of my life. I have learned many things about being a woman from cis women. I am legally married (same sex) to a man and I am his wife. I think of myself as a woman even though I am a transwoman. All my habits and things I do; mannerisms, gestures and motions are as a woman.
I would like to offer some comments based on my experiences as a woman.
1: All that I know about being a woman I have learned from as I already said, from cis women. I was first feminized by my babysitter when I was 6, which gave me my start and affected my life forever. There was nothing sexual, she just made me into a girl when I was staying at her house and this continued until I was 7. My parents were divorced and I lived with my mom.
Mom never knew of what my babysitter did with me, I was sworn to secrecy and if I ever told our special fun play would stop, which I loved and did not want to stop. When I was 8 and until I was about 11, mom had female roommates with teenage daughters. I lived in a house full of females; my mom, 2 adult women that she worked with and each one of them had a teen age daughter. All in a 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom house, so things could be a bit congested sometimes. I had a bedroom to myself but it was in the basement. I was the only male in the house and never got to be a girl then but I watched and paid close attention to the females and learned much from them. They had a very strong influence on me as I watched them and how they did things. I wanted to be a female just to fit in. It didn’t seem to me that much attention was given to me just because I was a boy. Kind of like on the outside looking in. The only one that showed any modesty around me was mom. The rest I saw in various stages of dress and undress.
I DO compare myself to cisgender women and strive to be like them. That is what makes me better at achieving my own goals of being feminine. Just remember that I do go out in public as a woman cuz I live as a woman. I have no male clothing left at all or anything else male. I wear only clothes that are made for a woman to wear and buy products that a woman would use, (makeup, deodorants, perfume, etc.) I do use squirt on female pheromones to give me the scent of a woman.
If one goes through a full transformation and completes SRS aka GRS, also known as a sex change operation, then that new woman needs to compare herself to cisgender women. If one just dresses for fun and self entertainment then maybe they should not compare themselves to cisgender women.
2: This I completely agree with! I have had many female role models that I wanted to emulate. When I was still a young male that bordered the line between wanting to be male or female, I saw many women that I was attracted to. Some I wanted to be intimate with but mostly I envied them, wanted to be like them or be them. Not all were celebrities and some were just women I saw in everyday life.
3: Yes I do invest heavily into foundation and shapewear garments to help achieve the body that I want as a woman and the image I want to project. One of the worst things that I did for myself when I was in denial of my feminine side when I was younger I was very athletic as a male. I acquired too much male muscle mass and that is very hard to get rid of; it doesn’t just go away and takes a lot of time! It can be very discouraging wanting to wear a certain style of dress and one wants to have arms and shoulders of a woman but they have male muscle tone instead. For example, I luv wearing halter dresses and swimsuits to narrow my shoulders and do not want any male form at all.
Years back and until just several years ago I used breast forms of some sort to help achieve my look as a woman. My younger years when dressing in my mom’s clothes I would use different items such as rolled up socks in a ball and also other things to stuff in my bra cups to create breasts. When I moved out on my own when I was 18 and started building my own female wardrobe I used Nerf and foam rubber balls to stuff in my bra cups. As time went on I bought items that were made to physically simulate breasts. More recently after they were developed I bought the lifelike attachable breast forms so I could go braless.
Several years ago I started developing my own breasts and now my boobs are a C cup. My last bras I bought are a 38C. The 38 band size is a bit tight on me and I probably should have a bit larger size but sometimes larger band sizes come along with bigger cup sizes. Some places I have shopped, on line and in stores both a bigger band size sometimes comes along with a D cup. I luv the snugness of a bra cup covering my own breasts.
When developing my breasts I went on an estrogen diet and also took supplements to elevate my estrogen levels. The supplements I took and still take also include progesterone and other female hormones. I also took and still take a testosterone blocker called Spironolactone; we users that use it call it Spiro or Spirno. With my diet and estrogen regimen it created gynecomastia, which to some males is a curse because it develops female breast tissue in males, mostly young boys but to me it was a gift that I was thankful for. I did what I could to promote my breast development and did many things but I do not really know what did and didn’t work. I included breast massage in my routine. But I would say to include an estrogen and progesterone regimen in one’s diet and also breast massage. My boobs are now my own and are natural hormone induced breasts without any fillers or additives (silicone or saline) and are still perky with a natural hang to them. I have yet to try the Sublime Bust but I do plan on trying it to see if it will further enhance my ‘girls’.
I do wear waist cinchers, corsets and garter belts almost daily because I am a garters and hose girl. I have about a dozen waist cinchers and corsets with attached or attachable garters. If I am going out for an evening with my husband I will wear a corset or waist cincher under my LBD or dress that I am wearing to give me the hourglass shape of a woman.
I wear a butt shaper panty often and sometimes even under jeans or shorts but it is not padded. It does though have a molded seat and with a center back seam that is designed to lift and separate the buttocks giving the wearer a shapelier, sexier and womanly bottom. I have enough butt that I don’t need any padding; in fact padding gives me too much butt. The thing is made of elastane and spandex with the crotch kind of a silky satiny material. It is like a no leg panty girdle being it is the same style of cut and design as a woman’s full cut brief. With the material it is made of and with the tummy control panel on the front there is no need for control top pantyhose. I have 8 of these and in 3 different colors; black, white and beige (nude). The only pads I use are thin hip pads to widen my hips that I place under my butt shaper panty on the side over my hips. Too much padding does not look right and looks fake and fonie or like a deformed woman.
I still have my male genitals so I tuck. I tuck very well and so that I look like a woman in the crotch. I have recently started a new way of tucking by using a new surgical glue for an adhesive. This is what many surgeons use now instead of sutures, staples or steristrips for closing up a wound or surgical opening. I place my testicles back up inside my body where they originally came from and if done carefully do not cause any discomfort. If someone is seeing me nude and looking straight at me I do look like a woman with vagina lips. The rest of my male business is snugly glued up back between my legs and cannot be seen in that position. I can still pee but of course I have to sit like a female to tinkle. This medical grade adhesive does last for about 5 days but can be removed with Vaseline. I am like this all the time now being that I live as a full time woman but sometimes remove the glue while my husband is at work so I can clean and maintain the area. Usually I leave some pubic hair down there around the lips so I can look natural but sometimes at my husband’s request I will shave the whole area.
I do wear women’s one piece swimsuits and look like a woman wearing one if I use the right foundation garments under the suit. That also makes me look like a woman down there if I’m wearing panties. I do wear fairly conservative swimsuits that do hide what I don’t want showing. My cleavage now is my own!
4: I moved from moms into an apartment that was ½ of a duplex so I could be female whenever I wanted and even having a male job to support myself I spent much of my own time as a female. This was in the 1970s and I bought a reel to reel tape recorder. I spent many hours practicing my female voice. I would write down phrases that I wanted to say and they would be things that a girl might say in a conversation and speak into the microphone. As I went through life I learned to use my female voice when I wanted. It got to be automatic that I used my female voice when I was being fem. Now I use my woman voice all the time and have not spoke like a male in several years.
5: I do not dress as provocative as I did when I was younger and wear the same sexy clothing and short skirts and dresses but I still wear skirts and dresses that come several inches above my knees. Being I have a nice rack (from what my husband and others tell me) so I do display my cleavage somewhat. I mean I do have boobs and they are natural and mine and I am proud of them so why not show them off a little. I do wear an LBD (lil’ black dress) or a cocktail dress of a different color when my husband takes me out for an evening. As I mentioned I am a garters and hose girl and wear a garter belt or corset/cincher with garter straps almost daily. My husband likes me wearing back seamed stockings and also fishnets sometimes and needless to say I do wear back seamed fishnets often. My under garments are pretty much retro style like from the 40s, 50s and 60s era style. My bras are all back hook or fasten, and my dresses and skirts are mostly back zip and I even have women’s pants and shorts that are back zip. I do not have any male clothing left at all and only wear clothes made for a woman to wear. With the way I tuck my groin I can wear women’s panties without any problems at all and they fit just fine. That also goes for my women’s swimsuits that I can display my cleavage created by my own boobs. I do have jeans and athletic shoes but they are women’s. My wedding dress was a white satin and lace cocktail dress with long puffy sheer chiffon sleeves.
I do have a beautician/cosmetologist that keeps my hair and nails done for me. She is a cis woman that knows what I really am and she has her own one woman full service beauty salon. She does it all. Her other patrons think that I am a real woman.
6: I try to pass a real cis woman and when others see me I want them to think of me and that they are looking at a real woman. I strive to be like a real and natural woman and do not try to stand out but more like to blend in. But yes I want to be an attractive woman also. I am not a Ru Paul type drag queen! I am not loud, shrill and flamboyant with over done eye makeup with pink or purple hair and gaudy clothing. I think of myself as a woman. For heels I usually wear 3 inch heel ankle strap sandals but have some 4 inch for special occasions. I’m usually in heels but sometimes around the house I might wear 2 inch heels. I do my makeup daily and check it several times a day and do not over do it. I do it about the same as a business woman or housewife does (which I am a housewife). By the time I moved out from mom when I was 18 I was already very good at doing my makeup. This was due to much practice and a strong desire to be a woman. I guess it could be said that I was born in the wrong body.
7: I first went out in public when I was 18 and went out at night for a drive in my car stopping to get gas and then again to get a pack of cigarettes. My neighbors in the other half of the duplex were 2 hippie couples that shared the 2 bedrooms 1 bath apartment. They were true hippies that were mostly into the peace and love and the live and let live culture more than they were into the drug culture. They did smoke a little pot and drank some cheap wine but were not into hard drugs. They were very open minded and knew about my female side. Before I went out in public the first time I got dolled up and madeup I went next door to ask them how I looked. They told me that I would not have any problem passing as a young woman and was cute and pretty. The 3 people I encountered that night on my drive, 2 males and a woman all thought I was a real female. I was called ‘miss’ and ‘young lady’.
8: Even though I pass as woman, when I was younger I would usually go out to places that were gay TG friendly just in case of an incident. As my confidence grew I did start going to many other straight establishments. I never did have any problems with someone doubting that I was not a female, not even once. But it is good practice to go places were one feels safe. Not all gay bars or clubs are TG friendly! In the bigger cities there are gay leather bars that transwomen and Tgirls are not welcome and it could be dangerous. It’s a different type of crowd.
9: I did practice my feminine side as much as I could starting at about 12. Mom worked days and without her knowing I would use her spare makeup and clothing, including bras, panties and stockings to be a girl while she was at work. I would go off into a world of my own in which I was a female. I had about 6 good years of practice before I moved out on my own.
10: I enjoy being a woman! What my babysitter did to me when I was 6 may be the reason and this has had long term and lifelong effects on me. The men I had relationships with have always treated me like I’m a woman. When my husband takes me out for an evening at a nightclub we dance and I dance like a woman. Since Miley Cyrus did her dance on TV, husband and I now twerk dance with my bottom pressed against his groin as we grind against each other. During slow dancing I have learned to follow my husband’s lead like a woman does. I have learned to sway and move my hips and wiggle my butt like a woman. I walk like a woman with a hip roll and butt wiggle with one foot in front of the other. Not only my husband tells but other men and women both tell me I am just like a real woman. I do know that I love being a wife and a housewife and I try to be the best wife I can be to my husband!
I had 3 bridesmaids at my wedding. One moved to Las Vegas with her boyfriend and they plan to be wed at the same wedding chapel that my husband and I were married at. I will a bridesmaid at her wedding. The other 2 still live in Reno and they and their men, one is legally married and the other shacks up with her boyfriend. The 3 of us couples all hang together and we 3 girls are the women in our circle and we live as women.
There are many transwomen that pass as cis women. The internet and websites have many of them. The earlier and sooner in life that one starts on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) the better the results are.
Hi Julie Lisa, what fabulous comments and divine to read. I think you are so right ” I do know that I love being a wife and a housewife and I try to be the best wife I can be to my husband!” He is a lucky man and so special to be loved as the woman you that you are. I wish that we could all be in your position and yes, I agree the longing desire to start HRT sooner than later is a must.
I support you’re comment on the topic, I’ve had some great times in clubs and sports bars when everyone thought I was over dressed but I didn’t think so and I was getting all the attention from the guys, and it wasn’t the low life guys either, pick and choose who you want to be seen with. Lol but don’t be rude, it’s not lady-like.
Express yourself with confidence. Believe. Don’t be afraid of experimenting and finding yourself. Their is no write or wrong. And love yourself.
Joyce
I agree girlfriend! Go for it and be the best you can be! I live full time totally 24/7/365 as a woman!
That’s wonderful that your full time. I working towards full time. The transition at work is the last big step. Perhaps within 2018
Joyce :
Amen , Enjoy being You!
T.J. opinions on photos encouraged.be kind, I’m 71YO! !
Always looking good TJ! You look like the perfect woman out and about!
Lucille,
Comparing my self to cis women is my biggest problem. Not being born female really has me upset. So it eats at me from the inside, I do know how harmful and hurtful this can be, but for some reason I can not let go of it and I am 65
Me too, live in toronto.Married with kids.Love to find someone else who is mature enough to understand my feelings.Love to speak with someone who have successfully bieng feminized.
I am 45 male.
Cheers
Jayson
Jessica, I think the idea is not to compare yourself to anyone else, but to observe how others dress and move and then incorporate these into your personal style.
I wish you joy in your journey.
WOW! Thanks for reminding me of how many DONTs I do. It sure is fun, though (tip 10). I can’t help doing # 1. I get SO envious, but at least it’s inspiring. Re #s 2 & 7, I really do use role models, and just LOVE feedback from my wonderful cis sisters, keeps me humble. And sometimes I even dress appropriately for my age (#5). I was amused by #9, thinking about when I wore skinny 3″ heels a few weeks ago, a really rare occasion. I THINK my moves were ok, but it was a serious struggle.
Thank you for those delicious tips!
Hi, again.
Can’t stop babbling. Just have to relate that once I went into Forever 21 (I’m really old) and asked if they were going to card me. They got a kick out of that.
Lucille,
Thanks for all your tips, they are all great!
I agree with being aware of situational context. I never feel comfortable dressing girly in the ranching/logging/farming communities. And I am very careful when on the dark side of the tracks no matter how I am dressed.
I have always observed how other women dress and move for tips. I got a lot of help from my older Sis and my Mom early in life. I could pass with minimal effort until about age 40, now it is pretty obvious that I am crossed. I am NOT going to let that change me!
Number 10 is the most important, be confident and HAVE FUN!
Love you all,
Jin
I just realized that I used a bad choice of words yesterday. My comment about the “dark side” has nothing to do with anyone’s ethnic origin or skin pigmentation. It is strictly a metaphor for the morally corrupt districts that are in Satan’s thrall.
I apologize if I offended anyone.
One more thing, I always cheat a bit on the age thing. I do look a bit younger than my drivers license says I am. The more informal the setting, the more I cheat.
All very good advice. For me, most important is to just try and blend in and dress and act like any normal woman when out and about. I’m 72 and never have a problem with being accepted as a lady where ever I go. Here is a photo of me out recently. What do you think?
Hello Suzy,
You looks beautiful.Wondering if you have any tips for a married man to get feminized.jayson5060 at aol dot com
Cheers
Jayson