So many things go into being a woman… makeup and clothing are just the beginning!
To help you be your best feminine self, here are my top 10 dos and don’ts for your male to female transformation.
1. DON’T Compare Yourself to Others
There’s no winning the comparison game. Comparing yourself to cisgender women or other trans women is a misery-inducing habit.
This isn’t a competition. Instead, focus on being the best version of YOU.
2. DO Find Female Role Models
While you shouldn’t compare yourself to other women, it IS a good idea to observe and learn from them.
When you see somebody who looks especially good, observe the details. How does she dress, speak, move, and behave? You don’t need to be a copycat, but incorporate some of these details into your own image.
3. DO Invest in Great Shaping Wear
The shape of your body broadcasts your gender, so one of the most important items to invest in is great shapewear. This is even more essential than spending money on expensive clothing!
Depending on your natural shape, you may want to invest in the following:
- Breast forms in an ideal shape/size for your body
- Waist cincher
- Padded panties (with butt and hip padding)
- Control top pantyhose
4. DON’T Forget Your Voice
There’s nothing quite as jarring as a beautifully made up woman with a voice that doesn’t match.
While it’s not essential to have the most perfectly pitched voice, putting some effort into a congruent voice will have a big impact on your image. I recommend EvaF online voice feminization training.
5. DO Dress Age Appropriately
Dressing appropriately for your age is a style must for every woman.
This is NOT to suggest that you have to look boring or frumpy above a certain age. You simply need to choose pieces that reflect the best version of you without looking too young or too old. See my 3 Rules for Dressing Sexy at Any Age for more on this topic.
6. DON’T Overdo It
The biggest mistake you can make is overdoing it. This applies to all women!
Wearing too much makeup, dressing too sexily, and over-exaggerating your movements are all no-nos. These big mistakes attract the wrong kind of attention. Instead, think subtle and stylish.
7. DO Get a Second Opinion
It’s hard to see ourselves objectively. That’s why everybody needs a trusted friend for a second opinion. If you don’t have a girlfriend you trust nearby, find a forum or even post your images in the comments section here for an objective opinion on your image.
8. DO Seek Support
Whether you crossdress in private or live as a woman full time, you deserve to be supported. This could mean a lot of different things – from coming out to a partner, joining a support or peer group, finding a therapist, or just connecting with others online. Either way, being supported make the journey a lot less lonely – and way more fun!
9. DO Practice Your Moves
Your body language and movements communicate more about you than almost anything else. Pay attention to your movements by keeping them fluid and feminine. Check out these articles for more tips:
- 7 Tips for Feminizing Your Body Movements
- How to Walk in Heels: 7 Dos and Don’ts for Crossdressers and Transgender Women
10. DON’T Forget To Have Fun
Whether you’re at home or in public, being a woman is supposed to be fun! Drop the guilt, the comparisons, and the need for perfection and enjoy being the woman that you are!
What are YOUR top dos and don’ts?
Now that you’ve seen my list, what are YOUR top dos and don’ts? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
transformation tips?
I really like suggestion #1, which I will reword this way: Be your own woman. Like any other woman, I have my assets and limitations. So, I rock what I’ve got and don’t obsess over what I don’t.
I am a female person who was assigned male at birth. I will never be a natal woman, and didn’t have a girlhood. Neither am I really a natal male, and my upbringing was pretty gender neutral. But I am most authentically, comfortably and joyfully expressed as a woman (albeit one who posses the minor superpower of transsexuality!!).
So, I will be my own version of a woman because I am a unique person, and I am still learning how my innate femininity combined with my history and biology translates into being the best human I can be, a woman who happens to be transgender. 🙂
I love how you put this Brettany!
Thank You!! 🙂
Right now my wife is my only girlfriend and sounding board, so I am always afraid she is a little bias.
Hello Lucille,
If you don’t mind I’m going to be a little bitchy. I really do appreciate your efforts towards us, wannabewomanguys, or wannalooklikeguys. But, what you are suggesting is all about being becoming what you are not, if I followed your rules, and I would get away with it, then I would NOT be the person I want to be. I would be fooling people and me. I am me, and I want to stay that way. Obviously a guy in a dress, but I’m more respected for being what I am, then for trying to be what I’m not.
Stick to the person you are. And to hell with those who won’t accept you, but don’t become the person you can’t be. Be proud, glorious and foremost YOU!
This is me, I’m very proud, but I’m not going to change my voice, or have my jawline operated, or, or, this is ME. Love me or love me.
Given those two choices, I choose to Love You!.
You look fab just the way you are and I am sure you are fun to hang out with.
Keep being you.
You have very sexy legs!!!
Chantelle:
GIRL, YOU GOT NO REASONS TO APOLOGIZE to aNY one for anything. ..you look Fabulous! But, you already knew that if you own a full length mirror!
Enjoy being You! T.J
P.S….at 71 I don’t have too many more years to dress, so I enjoy every moment
This is a continuation from #3. DO invest in good accessories such as wigs. No cheap wigs. No cheap shoes. Inexpensive, yes. cheap NO.
I agree with all of the advice I have received from you thus far. Certainly you have pointed out some things I may have otherwise overlooked. I am new to this but have given my endeavor a great deal of consideration. One very important thing seemingly overlooked by the community I find alarming.
I have invested alot of time exercising and resculpting my physique. For many reasons : foremost is the future surgery but also it helps feminize my posture and movements if I have developed the muscles required. While there is no difference in the muscles we have, there is a significant difference in the way we use them. I have not started hrt but i have in the past year (through diet and exercise) changed from 180lbs 37-32-33 to 155lbs 34-27-35.
For the timid..i used only bodyweight exercises and yoga.
I also eat 4-5 meals a day.
That will certainly be lower when i do the hrt. What mtf women should understand is they can develop faster while they have the androgen production, in terms of muscle mass. Which ofcourse reduces body fat leaving the newborn woman substantially ahead.
I hope I havent bored you but if this helps anyone at all, it is time well invested.
*hugs*
Deeners
Nadine K, this is more of a question than a comment, but the changes you mentioned are quite an achievement. Would you mind telling me how tall you are, and how often you exercise and how long per session ? I’m 5’11” and have dropped from 183lbs to 165lbs in a year only through dieting, albeit not severely. However, my dimensions don’t seem to have changed so drastically as yours. Of course, I haven’t exercised — not laziness, but no time and no precise knowledge of what to do. Also, how do you assess the benefits of eating 4-5 meals vs eating 2 or 3 (as I do, on account of work) ? Thanks. Claudia
Hi,
While those are great tips, I may have a problem with n°8.
While it is possible to choose when you are the occasional crossdresser, it is not always possible for a full-time trans.
Just wanted to point it out.
I’m fine with the rest.
Yuna
Yuna, some places are not safe not matter how you are dressed. I just avoid those places as a matter of course.
Hi Yuna,
I agree with you about no.8, when you are full time trans it is not always possible or practical. However, it is wise to avoid places that could/would be dangerous.
I agree it is wise to avoid possible dangerous places.
But it is a statement valid for everybody.
A phrasing I can use is : “Be prepared. You may not always find yourself in the safest place possible.”
For some that would mean behind the curtains all their life. It starts with building confidence, ask a friend to come with you, introduce yourself in a shop male first, and make an appointment to come female. Take a workshop concerning make-up, and foremost ask your female neighbour for approval.
I was chicken too, but, nobody else can set you free, you have to do that. and you alone.
That’s a good point Yuna! How do you deal with this? Has your environment ever been an issue for you (safety or otherwise)?
I have not yet encountered dangerous situation (safetywise). However I have encountered people with low acceptance.
For some, a quick talk can lead them to at least reconsider their beliefs. For others, well… if they won’t change no matter what, they’re not worth my time.
So, be prepared (but not paranoid)
When choosing a wig, do get one that’s appropriate for your age. Long hair is lovely on a young girl, but more mature ladies (generally) pass better with shorter hair – no more than shoulder length.
38yo 5’7″ 150ish…Is this a good start? My first attempt at daily wear.