What would you do if you had NO FEAR?
- Would you plan a fabulous femme outing?
- Would you share your feminine side with somebody important?
- Would you live as a woman full time, haters be damned?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – whether it’s our age, our family obligations, or a lack of money – but the truth is, it usually boils down to FEAR.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are my best tips for conquering your fear so you can express yourself as the fab female you truly are.
1. Accept your Fear
What you resist persists. But when you accept your fear, it has a funny way of dissipating.
The thing is, our minds are wired to help us survive. Whenever you face an unknown situation – or risk facing disapproval from others – the default response is fear.
Accepting your fear as a built-in biological response also helps you realize that your fear is NOT a sign that you are weak or that you are NOT supposed to do something. (Note: I am not suggesting that you ignore fear when it comes to your physical safety. You should obviously use common sense when putting yourself out there.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever been afraid something terrible would happen … only it never happened? That’s because most fear comes from your thinking, not the reality of the situation.
It is not possible to think two thoughts at one – therefore, if you think a positive thought, it is literally impossible to think a negative or fearful thought at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The premise of the book is that the only way to get over a particular fear is to face your fear and DO IT. Then there is no longer anything to be afraid of! What a concept, huh?
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid doing something, the scarier it seems? Avoiding something doesn’t make the fear go away … it only builds anticipation, which is usually worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action in spite of them, the stronger and more confident you become.
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
P.S. I am going to be facing one of MY biggest fears ever by going SKYDIVING this month – eeek! Any girls here make the big leap? I’d love to hear any tips or words of encouragement you might have. 😉
My confidence is up and down. The more I get to go out in this world, the more I feel like I belong and am confortable and its a wonderful natural feeling. When there are streches of time I can’t be myself, the lack of confidence returns. People figure me out easily when i get nervous like this. I must remember to try and set my mind , hold my head high and say to myself, I belong in this world too!
Fear is a big issue for me. I haven’t gone out in a few months, but I have gone out more this year than any before, BY FAR.
“Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear, and I will let it pass through me.” – Arther C. Clark, Dune.
I couldn’t agree more facing your fears is hard but once you accept that it is really none of anyone elseses business it really is quite easy. The sky dive is one of the most exillerating experiences just enjoy every moment of it.Really the only thing to be afraid of is the ground!
The greatest thing that holds most of us back is the fear of other people’s opinions. I’ve learned to say be dammed with other peoples opinions. I’m accepted and much happier now as I am. I say be at peace with yourself and do it responsibly and be real and natural. Don’t try to stand out too much.
I have NEVER been afraid to go out en femme from the start, actually about my third time dressed. I figured that if I put in all the effort to get ready and look good, then why stay in the closet. Yes, deportment and confidence are very important, per Sandy’s answer, but if you do not go out how are you going to evolve and learn? I recommend going to a shopping mall. Most people won’t even notice you as they are too hung up on themselves and what store they are going to visit next. So go for it…Love, CC
Love the blog! while I do understand the concept behind it all.for me it still really doesnt help. my fear is not what others think of me.it is none of my business.reality is,there are Alot of people everywhere in this world who would love nothing more than Kill a member of the LGBT community.this is a reality that is VERY REAL.this is a crazy world we Live in.it could be anyone of us making a quick trip to the store to pick up milk,get shot,stabbed and never make it back to our loved ones again.I am Trans,I was diaognosed with gender dysphoria when i was younger.started HRT 3 months ago today.I also have a very supportive and loving wife.it is that fear that stops me from being who i know i am inside..even more so when me and my wife are out together because it is also putting her Life in danger.if someone shot me they more than likely would not leave her alive ethier. I for one know first hand how society is being an officer on the street for 5yrs which I left in 2008 due to job stresses.I live in a city that has a very low hate crime rate.I know it is something I need to get over,but it is hard. Thank you for all your wonderful Blogs!
The #1 thing that holds us back is fear (deportment & grace come in a close 2nd) The ans. is confidence. Know that you belong. Be self assured.It’s easy to act normal when you know it’s normal.
I’ve made 55 jumps myself, many years ago. Your fear is in your mind. You will remember very little about the first one because your fear blocks your mind. The second is fantastic because you know what is coming and the fear is minimized. Be very careful as you can become hooked on the sport very easily. Have lots of fun and enjoy!
WOW Cheryl, 55 jumps! That’s awesome!
I’m doing this more as a way to expand my comfort zone than anything else. I figure if I can jump out of a plane, I can do anything. 😉 But who knows, maybe I just will become addicted to skydiving.