Embracing your true self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can be challenging to say the least. It’s no surprise that fear often stands in the way of taking the next step!
Have you ever considered what you would do if fear didn’t hold you back?
- Would you plan an exciting femme outing?
- Would you confidently reveal your feminine side to someone significant?
- Would you embrace living as a woman, regardless of naysayers?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – be it our age, family responsibilities, or finances.
But the truth is, it usually boils down to fear.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
Lucille, You are right.FEar leads to procrastination which leads one not to reach their goals in life.WE all have unfounded fears.
I do believe that discretion is often better than valor.I see nothing wrong with keeping thins private.Why does everyone have to know things about us.
Myself I love wearing female clothes and accessories.I do not wan
t most people in the world knowing this.For they have unfouned fears and prejudices about it.
the main thing people should get from your blog is yes to acheive success do not allow fear to make you procrastinate.Get out of one’s comfort zone and do what you fear and you would be amazed at how natural it becomes.Thank-you Lucille.
A big step… I’ve been living as a woman since 1996. It’s been VERY educational, finding out how women get treated in today’s scoiety.
What have I done in these 16 years? Became an insurance Agent. Been hospitalized several times. Been to three (so far) high school reunions in my small home town. Played golf. Joined the NRA and regularly go to the shooting range. Worked at several different jobs until I retired in 1999.
Oh! Well, I guess I haven’t really done anything that any woman would have done.
It’s a great life!
Gerri
I learned the long hard way the truth in this quote by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right!” I thought I couldn’t. I thought it was impractical. I thought it would never work for me. I thought it wouldn’t be worth the effort. I resigned myself to living as a depressed and hopeless man who wished he were a woman. It seemed as if I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t, a no win situation.
Regardless of what I thought I guess it could not be suppressed forever. I could not take it to the grave with me. It wasn’t enough for Shirley just to escape her prison. She piled up tons of dynamite, pushed the attitude plunger and blew it completely to smithereens then smiled her charming smile with satisfaction. I’ve been living full time as Shirley 8 months now, the happiest 8 months of my life. So guess what. Yes I can despite being over 6’4”, 235 lbs and easily read face to face. It’s remarkable considering I started deep in the closet, hiding in the dark scared to death anyone would find out. If you’d like to read a little more of my story check out the article titled “An Unusual Success Story” at crossdresserheaven.com There’s also success stories by others. Here’s the link:
http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/category/advice-and-encouragement/crossdressing-success-stories/
I’m also on Facebook and AOL. So what’s your excuse and how long are you going to live like that?
Just one of the girls. Hugs,
Shirley Corning
I have a parachute I could sell ya. It was my friends. Never used, small blood stain. Lol jk =) I do have to say though. Going out in public femme is a lot harder when 1: you live on a military base, and 2: you look like a guy in drag. When I go out for the second time, the first time it was 2 in the morning, dark and a weeknight, I will at least have a girlish figure. But still at night when everyone is asleep hahaha. =)
Hi Nicole
I too spent many years in the military, and know what you mean. But even in 1981 basic training, we were told of an E-9 who was caught dressed up. So we know it was happening way long ago. Personally as I am married I couldn’t get out dressed completely. (She doesn’t approve). Anyway it’s now 2017 and I have slightly more freedom to explore. I do have to say though, your picture is beautiful. I see no reason for you to try to hide your femininity from the world.
Much love ❤
Tina D. H.
OMG! Really? I’m totally blushing right now. Thank you so much =) And yes that picture really is me
If that picture is really you I wouldn’t hesitate to watch you walk down the street. And I would be afraid to try to start a conversation out of fear of you rejecting me straight away.
Thank you, but I think you have the wrong post =) I’m a guy in a wig who hasn’t even started the transition yet =/
You are gorgeous. 🙂
being ex Air Force I have been in many fast airplanes and gone through a lot of procedures for jumping out in case of an emergency. I have been a few situations where jumping out came close as an option but someone told me once that you never jump out of a good airplane. Flying over the Dakotas looking down I would smile and cringe at the thought of even having to jump out and so I would just whisper “there’s no place like home” turn around and head safely home. The thing about jumping out is that when the time comes and you have to do it you just do with out thinking. The fear goes away and then you say “why haven’t I done this before. Jumping out is difficult; floating down is great; it’s the landing that counts;-)
It is the same with going out. Just before going out my first time someone told me that no one paid attention anyway because they were all caught up in their own thoughts and concentrating on their thing and would not notice. She was right I stepped out into the world and no one cared. People walked past with out looking up. Even someone I worked with passed and since I was not me he did not see me as me either.
Now I have a different fear. I want to go out wearing little or no make up. Maybe a top that exposes a little of my cleavage, a skirt and a pair of flats. I want the ultimate now to be a woman like any other out in the world just doing my thing. The thing is I’m no longer as thin as the photo I posted but I’m working hard to get back to that. I do go out; in and around the house, in the car to pick someone up or drop them off. These are safe zones to me. people see me in this element all the time. The post man nods his head, the UPS guy just says sign here and all is well. My fear now is what happens when I step out into the world now with nothing ore than my new feminine attributes to tell the world that I am woman. I think that they will just go on about their business but the fear is I don’t know.
One day I will just jump out of that plane and find out.
This is good advise. I personally found it easiest to face one fear at a time. I’ve seen and heard others try to face more than one and fail. Sometimes they get discouraged but I always say. Take these things one at a time not all at once.
Wise advice. We used to call it ‘reverse psychology’. It worked back then, and it works now!
I wanted to post something about fear again. Do you know what the 5th most deadly thing for humans is? A car. Yet we get into a car daily and we drive here, there and everywhere. Why do we do it if they are inherently so dangerous? Simple, we manage that risk with things like seatbelts, headlights, mirrors. We have ways to manage that risk. We use whatever is available to make it as safe as possible and easier for us to navigate a vehicle. Why can’t you do the same with your trips out? Bring a friend. Carry some protection. I carry a stun gun and pepper spray at all times when out as a woman. It is dangerous enough as a GG, it compounds even more for us. I have 2 blades at my home for protection. I always have some form of defense with me. I manage the risk. Never let them see you sweat.