Embracing your true self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can be challenging to say the least. It’s no surprise that fear often stands in the way of taking the next step!
Have you ever considered what you would do if fear didn’t hold you back?
- Would you plan an exciting femme outing?
- Would you confidently reveal your feminine side to someone significant?
- Would you embrace living as a woman, regardless of naysayers?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – be it our age, family responsibilities, or finances.
But the truth is, it usually boils down to fear.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
Lucille,
Thank you for your thoughts and advise when dealing with fear in our lives. Fear should never be ignored as it protects us, protects me. But I refuse to let it control or paralyze my life from being happy and from doing what I want to do.
Personally… I had to answer one very important question of myself… my fears. Could I accept never being myself, showing who I am, my feminine side to the world, hiding my gifts and talents for the rest of my days in this life from those who I meet?
Life is too short and I wish to live with no regrets. I can not ignore my dreams or just keep acting and dressing in a way society might like to see. I must express my feminine side to the world or feel as if I am forever wearing a mask.
I face these fears and gain confidence from each step I take, every place I go. The days in this life are not unlimited. Every day is an adventure and I must make the most of it. Clothing will never stand in the way of being who I am or wish to be.
Hi Lucille,
You are right. Most of the times, your worse enemy is yourself. At beginning of this year, I wrote my target for this year. I wanted to life in my femenine side as long as possible. I promised myself that at léase would lead lingerie every day to remind me the somanta I am! … the woman in me. Now, I can see that 85% of the days (so far) I have gotten it. I had fear, so fear… now, it has become in a habit, I feel very well, so well and proud.
Thanks Lucille and thanks to all people for your comments.
Best regards.
Laura.
LOL That made perfect sence to me and yes, I know I have to simply step out of that door and get on with it. mAfter all, I am going to have to do it one day soon, I do know that. So why not tomorrow? MMmm Watch this space, I’ll let you know!!!
And as for jumping out of a perfectly good airoplane, no THANKS!!!!! But I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you find the expirience all you hoped it would be and more.
OMG Lucille! Everything you preach is true. I have become so bold thanks to you and your encouagement. The women in dress shops and even Bridal salons today are so different than say 5-6 years ago. They ENCOURAGE me to stay and just “be a girl” for as long as I want. I use to feel that I was a bother to them and made a quick exit. NOW, I am totally part of the female set and love every second of it!
LOVE,
Angie Renee Rineheart
You look lovely. You are the woman many of us long to be keep up the great job.
wow you look great !
I am afraid that I will not aceptted as a woman, and getting a job. I must get divorce and maybe gender change. but I love to crossdress and play fem. wear makeup. I have a boyfreind. he loves me and all my fem features. I should have stept out 30yrs. ago but didnot, so what will I do now. I really want to be a female, help me. I have natural breast but man boobs. I want to be a woman and feel loved for my naturalself. can you help!
Hi Lucille,
I thought I would add a picture of what I looked like when I first started out. I soon realized that no one really paid much attention to how I looked.
Hi Lucille,
I started out going in public by riding my motorcycle, then driving my car. Now,I show my real self to all the world as the woman I am. I wear jeans and tee shirts but you can tell I’m a woman. I don’t go around waving a flag saying I’m transgender. I do my best to act like a natural woman. One thing that helps remove some fear is to remind myself that, I no longer have to pretend being a man.
You are going to love skydiving it is a blast. It’s not near as scary as it looks. Much more relaxing actually, enjoy and thank you for the insights in to fear, they are right on the money.