I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
age seven
Hi Lucille!
I’m almost 63 now and I’d have to say I found myself less than a year ago! Dressing in my older sisters clothes started when I was 9…got caught…then puting it behind me thru my teenage years, when I was married with 2 children and then divorced! Dressing was not the reason for the marital disintegration! My life continued, bringing my children up as a single dad. That’s what I was focused on! Sure, I had hoped to find another partner in life but that didn’t happen. Then the female side of me started 21 years ago and I was able to be a closet crossdresser not knowing why! I felt great being in womens clothes. I knew I was not gay because I hated seeing 2 men kissing or holding hands and it just upset me! I was perplexed with a double standard! The female in me wished she were a 100% born genetic female! I was seeing myself as a female, not a man! Men were an option! I saw a gender therapist twice with not so good results and found your breast program last June. Since I started the herbal program, I also immersed myself into 2 books…”True Selves” and “She’s Not There”. Only after the herbs and researching did I realize I couldn’t wait any longer. I finally asked my doctor, admitting I was a probable transexual. He referred me to a Boston, Mass. health care facility where I was able to seek treatment! I’m happy to say I’m now on an HRT program under the scrutiny of the doctor at that facility. I started my hormone therapy at the beginning of May, 2011.
This is a bit more than a short reply and I must thank you, Lucille, for being there sharing your knowledge of feminization!
Lisa Alexia
I first knew I was a girl at the age of 10, My sister used to dress me up when my parents were not there which was lots of fun, My mother dressed me up at 15 as a girl for haloween, whenever nobody was in the house I crossdressed alot, my brother caught me with my sisters clothes in my dresser once, I begged him not to say anything, i still don’t know if he did, unfortunately it did not blossom yet
I was four, I was playing ‘let’s pretend’ and as always… I was a girl. Maybe I had played the role before, when I was younger, but the occasion that sticks in mind as the ‘first’ was memorable for two reasons.
One… I realised I was not really a ‘proper’ boy deep down inside, and I chose the name Caroline for myself, I stuck with Caroline until I was 23, and then dated a Caroline, after that it felt kinda odd.
Two… I ended up in hospital for three weeks as part of the little scenario I was playing through that night related to me being a good girl, and talking my medicine before going to bed… I must have run through the little play eight or nine or more times before actually falling asleep wearing my sisters clothes (I’ll spare you the details, but I do remember the outfit), and having taken a massive overdose of whatever it was the doctors had handed to my mum that was supposed to prevent my bed wetting.
I’ve long since given up trying to reason it all out, I’m thankfully happy as I am, and some things are best left well enough alone.
Imogen.
Sometime around the age of 9 I started to realize that I was different from the other boys in the neighborhood as I always wanted to do the more girl things like play with dolls and dress up and wear my mothers clothes. I was so happy then. I did not know what it was or what I was until I saw the story about Christine Jorgenson. Then I knew who or what I was. I started learning more and more. The internet was not around then so all we had were the libraries and newspaper articles. Look and gather them I did. I remember telling my mother about it and then receiving a rather discerning talk from both parents which resultd in going into hiding. In college I started experimenting and even won a most beautiful legs contest wearing stockings and garters and heels, a skirt and a bag over the upper portion of my body dressing the same as all the other contestants. Some of the GG’s were rather disgusted others were more encouraging. I kind of came out but went back in when I went to work and kept it somewhat hidden for years only to have it surface much more intensly in later life. If I were not married now, I would be going through some sort of life transition. As it is now I dress as often as time, job and family commitments permit. It is OK and does help, but I still feel trapped and do fervently hope to one day become the woman of my dreams. Lisa is a major part of my life and she has had some very interesting experiences along the way.
I am so glad for all you do for our community. Please continue to offer and help those who need. Thank you.
Lisa
Lucille, it would take to long! I wrote 2 chapters of a book about that but shredded it out of fear someone would read it and destroy me! Someday I would LOVE to publish my story but for now nope to long! Any how love you Lucille. Lori
I knew very early but I was afraid to let anyone know. It was a long and frustrating journey during which I was traumatized into thinking I should hate myself for being born in the wrong body.
At one point about 20 years ago, I took the first timid steps “out”. I had to stop hiding from myself and stop using potential family rejection as a reason to remain chained. In March of this year (going into age 40) I decided to be the woman I was meant to be.
My one regret: I didn’t start the transition sooner.
<3 Tori
Wow, I just got done watching both stories of transgendered people and I think it is wonderful that Jackie has such loving and understanding friends and family, Kane on the other hand is sooooooo far off base. How can anyone who went through a SRS on a “whim” because he was getting divorced and had some transgendered friends and happened to find a quack who obviously knew nothing about being transgendered give him hormones. I have known for years that something wasnt right within me, i went through the whole series of thoughts, denial, and self hate, am i gay, im just wrong and so on. Do i think kids know deep inside them who and what they are? YES I DO, and here is why. If you want a honest opinion on any topic, ask a 2-4 year old, they havent been influenced on or biased by what society deems “normal” yet. Ask them how they feel about themselves and they will tell you without wondering if they are hurting your feelings or if what they are saying is ok in the publics eye. Sorry ranted for too long. Ive lived my life, and have finally found what makes me happy, being Melissa and still having my loving wife is all i will ever need in this life or the next.