I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
Looking back, I believe I first had the thoughts about liking girly things was when I was 5 yrs. old. I can remember being in kindergarden and wishing that I could wear dresses like the girls. It sounds funny now, but I can remember the teacher always counting the number of students (i.e. # of boys and girls) and I would think that “they’re doing this so that they can get girls clothes for the boys!” Needless to say, that never happened, but for some reason it has stuck in my mind for all these years–I’m now 62 and I LOVE wearing women’s clothes.
I first knew I was to be a girl at age 7. My cousin and I were playing with her barbie dolls. We played for hours like two girls would. Then we decited to play with her tea set and we talked about our hair styles, dresses, and also try on makeup that she had. At age 12 I was trying on my sisters dresses,bras, and shoes.
Then i would walk arround the inside of our home( when no one arround). It felt so comfortable thats when i figgured out I was more female than male. I did tell some members of my family and I get mixed feelings form them.
thx to all
dannielle
Hi Lucille,
I new I was different from other boys at about 10. In fact I don’t remember having any maile friends at that time; they were all girls. As with any group of girls that age we traded clothes all the time. I was accepted as “one of athe girls.” My parents didn’t mine and in fact encouraged it. In my mid teems I was dressing as a girl (unisex outer clothes) at school. by age twenty I had more dresses,bras, skirts etc. than my two year younger sister. We still borrow each others clothes occationally. My family accepts me as I am. I would dearly love to have the final surgery; but cost is a mojor factor in why I haven’t. YET~
Love Mya
i knew i was to be a girl when i was 5 years old. by the time i reached my 6th birthday i had experienced several events that led to my being a girl.
My baby sister died 2 months after her birth and my mother said how much she missed her baby girl and she wished that i had been a girl. It was during my kindergarten year that i absolutely fell in love with a dress worn by a classmate. It was royal blue, and made of satin. It had lace around the neck and the hem. It was very soft and wonderful to touch.
Later this same classmate and i headed foe a deserted area a few yards deep in the woods for a little you show me yours and i’ll show you mine. At her direction i pulled my boy underwear down and she said what an ugly little peepee. When it came time for her turn she showed me her panties and said this is what real girls wear. She let me touch the material and a bolt hit me from somewhere. It was made of nylon and it felt wonderful. She never did show me hers but just seeing and feeling her panties convinced me i wanted more.
i cried to my mother when she said that boys wore boys underwear and girls wore girl underwear. From that point on i had to do what ever i could to touch, feel and wear my favorite underwear. That with satin and lace and elastic and dresses and my new found passion girdles. i would find a girdle in the laundry and rush out to the clearing in the woods and put it on. Oh, it felt so wonderful and so confinning and it held my little peepee. sissyyvonne
Lucille, I would surmise that I knew I was female from about age 4. I always wanted to be around my mother and do the things she did. I wanted to look like her and would sneak into her room when I was young and put on her shoes and night gown.I would ask her why I could not be like her and she would say I was a boy and should act like one. By the time I was a teen I had few friends and was socialy akward to a point where I was with drawn. I came from a large family 5 boys and two girls. When my first sister was born I was six and kept asking why I did not look like her and what was that thing between my legs and why she didn’t have one . The response was always the same and as I grew older I found it harder to hide from who I was.I kept to my self and my parents always wanted to know why I was so miserable.Well I told my self no matter what I was going to be just what they kept preaching the fact I was a boy and I should act like on.When I first heard about Christene Jorgenson and Renne Richards I was in my late teens and realized that they were like me.It now was harder for me to hide my self and the harder I tried the more withdrawn I became.I married in my mid twenties and seven years later had my first child a son my daughter was born two years later.Although I resolved to live my life as best as possible it was hard and my wife and children suffered needlessly, because I refused to tell anyone. I lived this way for many years and things kept getting worse I would try to be come my true self when no one was around, almost getting discovered more than a few times. Finally one day the facade came crashing down just before my daughters wedding. For months I had been trying to tempt fate and end it all, I did not want any one to know.Some how I stumbled into a wealth of information on the internet and was saved by a gracious women in a support group Tina I owe you my life. I been in transition for about a year and a half and in therapy for almost two. There is still a lot of baggage I have to get rid of, but I’m living my life as my true self and have a suppoting wife children and some family members and friends as well. I’m still married and intend to stay that way, my wife is looking foward to our new life together. I’ve set the wheels in motion for a legal name change, and have had hours of electrolsis. Thru all of this I could not be happier even with all the ups and downs it is still a million times better than living a lie. Lucille your site has been a wonderful help and all the others who are doing so much for the transgendered community. I will be living full time before years end and loving every minute of it. All my best CarolAnn
I remember at age 4 being caught by my mom playing in her clothes. Growing up in a strict Italian Catholic family of 5 boys (me being # 4) , my mom chastise me and told me not do to this again and we would keep this a secret! It was devastating.
As the years lingered with this silent struggle and reaching my teens, as my body changed opposite to my gender self, I struggled and feared all repercussions for my feelings. This led to drug abuse, depression, self harming with suicidal tendencies. I remained hurting, alone and unable to accept and express my true self. My teen years were spent hiding and wearing my fem clothing always in secret.
In my mid twenties, after a divorce and being exposed by my ex, I lost all friendships. I began HRT and my transition would move forward with small steps, and often huge setbacks. The frustration was again leading to devastating behavior. In 1986 I openly spoke to my parents, who again failed to accept my dilemma and asked never to see my true self.
My eldest son on the other hand always defended me, and to this day supports my transition.
Going back to when my parents passed away in 2000 I stopped my HRT and tried to live as a male. After 6 years of unhappiness and the realization I am living for myself and not my parents I restarted my HRT, Legally changed my name and am transitioning successfully. My self acceptance outweighs those of my brothers, I am so much happier with myself, have remained clean and sober since 2001. I am accepted in my community and am working towards my GRS and ridding myself of the masculine habits which were my safest and best defense mechanisms.
I am so very grateful for your website Lucille as it has been an inspiration for me in my journey.Thank you for your information and support to all of us in the trans community.
Though I feel I have less setbacks and am moving forward, I will always turn to your site and programs to uplift my spirits and revitalize my strength when in doubt.
Thank You Lucille once again.
I remember when I was little playing dress up with my Sister, I did that once, maybe twice. It was like a rush. I just remember knowing I was a boy and wondering what it was like to be a woman. I talked to my mother about it once and she said being a woman was a bum deal because all they got to do is have kids, cook meals and do laundry. She told me to be glad I was a man, because men have better lives. They do not have to have babies and she told me to try and imagine having a baby is like pooping a bowling ball.
That one comment kind of got me experimenting with my bottom and wondering how big of an item I could get up there, but that is another story.
Anyway, I hung on to my male side, and grew up some more, got molested by my older brother, came into puberty, became a sexual pervert and then lead a very broken and messed up life. Became a Christian over 20 years ago, and that gave me a crutch to keep on going. People say Jesus is just a crutch, I say yes he is, and so I am still going.
About 5 years ago, became totally discussed with sex and having male parts. Wanted to get everything taken off. My research led me to study Eunuchs and then that got me into studying SRS. I started cross dressing here and there, and realized that I have been in the wrong body my whole life. Told my wife and she flipped out. Decided to cool my jets. Realized my wife, family and job were more important than my true identity.
Still cross dress a little, I shave my body, I have long hippy hair, and wear panties, but live as a man. I take a trans dermal estrogen that reduces the Men feelings that I hate (Sex, control and anger) and use saw pametto to reduce my testosterone and fennel for fuller breast. I got myself a Man-Bag but I know it is my purse. My wife has adjusted to that and we are doing fine. For now, life is good but I am as close to being a woman as I will be for now.
And Jesus, my best friend is still here holding me up. Love you all. I know that Jesus both loved Mathew and Luke, but Mathew could only write in the Gospel before the last supper that they went and found the man Jesus described, Luke the Greek was able to write ‘Go into the city and find the man carrying water’. This was a woman’s job, and that is why when the disciples saw this person, they knew exactly who it was. I believe this is the same as Jesus saying, ‘Go into the city and find the man wearing a dress’ today. This was a unique thing. Lessons learned. 1. Last supper was help at the house of a man who was ‘different’. 2. Mathew could not even bring himself to write the words in his gospel, but Luke could. 3. Jesus loved Mathew and Luke the same and chose both of them to write His story (yes i know Luke was not a disciple).
Anyway, I think Jesus loves us trannys, but he also loves the ones that can’t understand us, and we should too.
Love you all.
Timothea
I’m glad some people are finally doing something for there kids. If only it was like this when I was young.Iknow I would be a better person,instead of being frustated,and hiding. There still being teased, but a little more acceppted.