Wow, my previous blog post about GUILT struck a nerve with people.
If you feel guilty about crossdressing or being transgender, then maybe you consider the whole thing a “curse”.
But I believe there are some amazing benefits to being a “two-spirit” person.
In this post, I want to share what I believe are the hidden benefits of crossdressing or being transgender.
Some of these apply more to crossdressers, but the sentiment is the same: Being TG can make you a better person overall – in girl mode AND guy mode.
The Top 10 Hidden Benefits of Crossdressing or Being a Transgender Woman
1. It allows you to integrate the best of both genders into your personality.
2. It motivates you to stay in shape and take care of yourself. (A girl’s gotta look good, right?)
3. It makes you more empathetic towards women.
4. It brings you closer to the people who support you.
5. It’s easier to be faithful when *you* are the other woman (though I hope your empathy towards women would prevent you from cheating in the first place!).
6. It allows you to get to know yourself in a deep and meaningful way.
7. It makes you an interesting person. (Normal is boring!)
8. It gives you more compassion towards others who don’t fit the norms of society.
9. It offers a healthy and non-destructive way to relieve stress.
10. It makes you a more creative, resourceful, and courageous person than you might be otherwise.
So what do you think? Am I missing anything on this list?
I’d love to hear what YOU feel are the hidden benefits of crossdressing or being a TG woman.
Please leave me a comment below!
Love,
Lucille
I agree with all of the benefits to dressing that are listed here, but with a small caveat. The list seems to point to these actions “making” or “allowing” you to be more creative, empathic, caring, compassionate or interesting – as an effect. While I am sure that’s true for many, I have always had those qualities – long before I associated them with my inner femininity. I just knew I was different.
I am now in my late 60’s and dressing has only been a part of my life on a regular basis for about 10 years. I was a late bloomer to say the least.
To me, dressing was more like the effect of my being a two-spirit, more than dressing being the cause of these listed benefits. I feel that for me, it is more of a hand-in-hand or chicken-and-egg thing. One reinforces and deepens the other. Dressing keeps me feeling balanced, and comfortable being in relationship with myself, and with others, and I see it as a kind of meditation. I sometimes take hours getting ready, only to be dressed for a short time. The relaxing effect it gives me is a great way to “de-stress by saying yes to the dress”, but it is the dressing as much if not more than BEING dressed that puts me in that beautiful and relaxed headspace. Of course, YMMV.
While I do agree with the list in terms of benefits, for me the source of the feminine spark and the inspiration to be myself (caring, compassionate, interesting) came more from within than from the dressing itself. However the desire to dress did start me on a quest to discover my gender identity, and to distinguish between my inner feelings about my gender identity, versus free choice to declare to myself and to others who I truly am. This is not an easy journey, but it is a journey for sure, and not necessarily one to an exact or known destination. Thankfully, the wisdom of age gave me the permission to just be myself – first inwardly then outwardly, which culminated in dressing – mostly in private, because in truth I dress much more for me more than to express to anyone else, which I can freely do in whatever mode I choose to be in. In short, it matters more how I express myself to others, which is authentically, rather than how I dress. I can be authentic either in male or female attire.
To reinforce my duality visually, and give myself the gift of taking care of my appearance, I grew my hair out a few years back and now sport a ponytail, and wear pierced earrings even while in male mode. I get clear gel nails (no more split ones), which look great and I keep them fairly short and shaped, and I get compliments from women quite a bit. I am told I rock this overall metrosexual look, which does great things for my head. I even wear foundation and dye my lashes and brows, because as a blonde, they were always pretty invisible and not well defined. I dress more androgynously, enjoy the variation of men’s fashions that look good on me, eat sensibly and watch my weight. Of course, these actions all support my female mode as well. A win-win for sure. Three years ago, any of the above actions seemed terrifying to me. Not any more. Small, one at a time steps, and when I look back, I marvel at how far I have come. My advice is to start somewhere and see where it takes you. Just let it be.
Finally, I am not saying that dressing didn’t contribute to my inner transition and integrating my feminine side, because it most certainly served as a catalyst, and did that in a profound and unexpected way.
I had dressed at home, with no intention of going anywhere, and yet I certainly went through a doorway that night. Upon looking in the mirror so see how “put together” I was, and how well I had coordinated my makeup, jewelry and clothing – I saw not just a pretty older lady looking back. It was me looking back at myself and smiling with recognition of who I truly was, and in that moment my male side embraced her fully. It was a game changing moment that I will never forget, and I was suddenly feeling whole and compete and totally at peace with my two-spirit self for the first time. There was a duality of recognition reflected in that mirror and we merged into one being that night and have been together ever since. Kind of like Alice through the looking glass, and I had somehow magically stepped though it.
I hope this happens for every two-spirit out there, for it is your gift to others to be your true self, and by being your authentic self, ,you give others that same permission. I really encourage you to be proud of who you are, because it is a leadership role in being human, and challenges the myth of gender norms, which for the most part are purely a social construct. Now put on those heels, (which men invented for men for their own statue by the way) walk tall and be that compassionate leader, girlfriend!
what an amazing blog post! I really enjoyed reading all the positive things you mentioned, which I totally resonate with! Its great to have a nice reminder though from time to time. I’m 29 and gender fluid / transgender and has taken me awhile to embrace myself fully and love who I am! this blog post made my heart feel warm and cozy 🙂 If we all focus on the things we love about the way we are and accept them without guilt/shame we’ll all be much happier!! Where attention goes energy flows!!
Perhaps opposite of many cross dressers I only dress and get bedazzled when I go out in public. At home I’m me but have a strong sex drive still work and love to cook and go out sailing or just hanging out on the boat. (Bi sex is very good. Either or both) My daily life includes bras and makeup, feminine clothes not dresses, as I’m not really passable so I’m in between and with breasts that are difficult to conceal. I’m so happy and have found that the smiles are returned, joyful conversations are the norm and most people are truly good with who I am. (Boy it took a long time to get here.) Healthy happy loving life more than ever. Some people, usually men, stare a bit butt I can usually get a smile from them too. So for today all good, even great. Always nice to read how others are doing. Thank you for the forum. Lia
For me, being transgender and taking steps forward has been “freeing” from the gender binary that society has instructed us to adhere to. I’m somewhere between the gender roles, not masculine enough, not feminine enough. Conformity to one or the other was a facade, making me feel compromised and suppressed. For most of my life I felt confused, a fraud and living a lie. I think many of us who have been viewed as being nonconforming to society norms, can see the absurdity of the binary. Social binary is divisive of people. Divisiveness gives way to discrimination. Having experienced rejection from the social norm, trans people develop more empathy and understanding for those who are struggling. I am no longer confused, because I accept who I am and I can enjoy the variety of life that God has created.
Thank you for this.
I’am 62 and so far a closet cross dresser. I don have any affair with men or other women when dressed. I wont do that to my wife. But I have to get out of the closet and be free to dress when and how to dress. I do pass, treated as a woman when. I dress and I LOVE IT, Maryanne
I’ve heard these recommendations before and they are very true. I have been following them for over a year now and I been complimented by other women for being a classy lady. I absolutely love it. On the most important things that I do is to keep my joints tucked in and close together whether I’m standing, walking, or sitting. The next thing is keeping my shoulders down and back. The rest seems to come naturally. It’s so much fun being me.