I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
i have known that i was different from as early as i can remember, proberly about 5-6 years old. i wanted to play with my sisters toys & dolls rather than my own. when i got to around 9 years old i started to wear my mums clothes (i was as tall as my mum at this age) because it felt & looked right, but didnt tell anyone ( my parents were very strict & old fashioned) my mum & dad split up when i was 10 which made me the man of the house which i really didnt want to be & it made me even more confused about myself. my mum then got a boyfriend who abused my sister & myself which put me even more into my shell & even more confused. then they noticed that my mums clothes were not as they left them they asked if i was wearing them, to which i denied. when i was 11 years old my mum & her boyfriend asked me one day if i wanted to go to school the next day in a skirt, to which i said no, iv always considered this as my biggest regret as i really wanted to say yes, in fact i really wanted to shout YES but the way things were at the time they WOULD have sent me to school in a skirt & then THAT would have been my biggest regret so i was in a no win situation!!!
due to my confusion as to who i was & who i wanted to be i was always in trouble at home & at school, i was bullied & abused both at home & at school & i didnt want to be in either place. i tried running away when i was 14 but with no money & nowhere to go i had no choice but to go back home.
when i was 15 my sister & i told my mum what her boyfriend was doing to us & she called the police & he was arrested & charged, he only got a suspended sentance as i couldnt go to court so it was only my sisters evidence that they could take, (she was only 12) it was hard for her but i wasnt the kind of person who could go through with something like that, i wasnt strong enough, but he was out of our lives.
when i reached 17 my mum kicked me out as she had had enough of me being an ass, she was justified in this as i was an ass, a confused ass but an ass nonetheless.
i then moved into a bedsit, i was working so i had a little money which went on rent, alcohol & femme clothes. after a while i had a fair sized wardrobe which made me a bit happier, (the alcohol was to try to forget EVERYTING which didnt work!!!) i was sinking into depression day by day which got worse over the next 10 years then when i was 26 i sat down with 70 tablets & 2 pints of water & took the lot, i didnt feel that i could ever be me & i didnt want to live anymore, i had had enough… you would of thought that 70 tablets would have done the job but obviously not… iv thought about doint it 1000’s of times since but when my mum came to the hospital to see me, the look on her face & in her eyes made me promise myself that i would never do that to her again.
i moved away to another part of the country to try to get away from everything, i even got married which didnt help, she cheated on me with my best friend so i was back to being very depressed again. i carried on dressing after getting another flat & buying more femme clothes which made me feel a bit better again but still very depressed as i still couldnt be who i wanted to be.
i am now 41 coming on 42, still depressed but dealing with it, still dressing when not at work & on my own (which is a lot of the time) i always wear knickers to work tho which makes me feel better…
i know i will never be who i want to be or who i know i should be on the outside but on the inside i have always been what i should always have been…
a confused zoe…
Since as long as I can remember. I used to borrow my sisters clothes and dress at night in bed. For years I would tell my younger brother bedtimes storie, often they would have a TG twist until the day he asked why would I have that happen.
1980 when I was 12. I tried on one of my sisters bathing suits with a padded bra and just felt right..I never went through with it, the feelings have come and gone over the years. Stronger at some points, pushed aside at others. They have become much more focused with the internet. It made it easier to understand myself.
I was 5 years old when I new I was different. I wore my mom’s silk night gowns and it made me feel so good and girly. Interestingly enough I never thought of it even than as weird or bad. My mom and sister as I got older found it uncomfortable so I just stopped wearing what is considered girls clothes then and kept it to myself.
My first wife found it very uncomfortable as well as I wore mostly girls pants and tops which buy the way most people do not even notice. They fit well and often were cheaper than men’s clothes that were comparable. Sadly I am large and have big feet 15aa and it makes it very hard to get shoes that are not gaudy but comfortable lower heels. 3 inch or less is best as I am already 6.3 so I do not need the height at all. My new wife of 5 years is awesome and we share all our clothes. She is way bigger in the bust than me but that is no biggy she just teases me about as she likes my femme side if you will. Enough for no later all
Redd
I had my first inklings when I was quite young–about 7-9–; later, I worried that something was wrong with me and I did everything I could to hide my desires (probably overcompensating by getting very involved in typical male sports and other activities). But I just could not stop trying to express my female-ness. In the past ten years I have gone farther and farther along the path to reach satisfaction for what I believe to be expression of my true nature.
When I was about 6 or 7, I spent a few days with a cousin at her house, where she found for me an old dress that fit, plus Mary Jane shoes. She then went and put lipstick on me, but I bulked when she started with mascara, as I thought she was going to poke me eyes. Then as a teenager, I would spend time in the school library looking at Seventeen magazine, and trying to hide it from the other students. Years later while in the military, I had a long weekend off, and got the guts to go to a Merle Norman Studio where I was stationed nearby, and conned the owner it was part of an initiation and she gave me a complete makeover plus let me borrow a long blonde wig. With the advancement of the Internet, YouTube, and eBay, I have now a complete wardrobe in my size, plus all the cosmetics I would ever need.
I first realized i was a girl when I was 9. I used to try on my sister’s cloths and shoes. one day she walked in on me trying on her prom dress she. She was the first person I ever told I wanted to be the girl I was meant to be. My parents said it was just a phase but my mom came around and she is helping me get hormones
One of my earliest memories, was when I was about 4: We were living in Chicago, and it was the earlyish 70s, and I had somehow convinced my mom to do my hair like Kate Jackson from Charlie’s Angels. She did, and I felt pretty; moreover, I felt right.
Growing up, and even now, even when I had facial hair people called me “miss”,”she”, or “her”. I spent a lot of time in what I now call “guy drag”, trying to feel like a normal person, but there was always a psychic undercurrent of “you’re not the person you’re supposed to be”.
During my early 20s, I spent 3 years cross living and sought SRS, but the therapist to whom I’d been sent concluded that because my primary social/sexual/romantic attachment was towards women, I wasn’t truly gender dysphoric.
I’m now 43, and I’m in a committed relationship with a woman who’s my best friend, and loves me as I am for the past 8 years, but she says she wouldn’t be able to be with me in any capacity other than that of friendship, if I did have a full on change, so I dress in a somewhat feminized tomboyish gender neutral way, shave rigorously every day (I’m saving up to buy a NONO), and am thrilled whenever someone calls me “Miss”.