I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I knew I wanted to be a girl when I was 10 years old. I started crossdressing at the time, but I thought it was wrong so I hid. My feelings were still there but I surpressed them as long as I could. After high school, I won a makeover contest that a glamour studio was doing at a local mall. I won a free makeover and photo session. I had so much fun but I was still in the closet so I had to take off the makeup before I went home. Up until last April, I would very rarely dress. Since then though, I have been out and proud as a transwoman even though I haven’t started hormones yet. I plan on starting HRT this year.
First time? Well as I remember it so it happend when I was 7-8 years old.
Was at a cirkus show, realised that what a little ballerina in red petticoat was wearing was exactely what I wanted to have. Sad to say my pearents was absolutely NOT on that track. Instead they told me that it was absolutely forbidden for a boy and that I should not tell anybody about it. The rest is history. Just remember that the times was quite different in the acceptance of trans … ! It has turned in the right direction since then. 🙂
I believe I was about 6 or 8 years old. I was dressed in my younger sister’s clothes because we were on a family camping trip and I had gotten my clothes dirty playing on the beach in the mud. Once mom washed my clothes I was back in “normal” clothes again, but once back home, I started getting into the panty drawer. I mostly suppressed the urge during my teen years because of my involvement in sports, but when alone I would put on the panties and stockings. Sometimes sneaking some of my sister’s skirts or satin/nylon nighties. Now days I dress pretty much as I like. Relaxing at home I am fully dressed skin out in my feminine attire. I sleep in nightgowns or satin pj’s. I have about 50 pair of panties, 20 skirts 10 dresses, well the list goes on but you get the idea. My wife is very supportive and I love her dearly.
Abby
I have known of my feminine side for as long as I can remember…from the time when I could put logical thoughts together. One of my first memories is “what is this thing between my legs” when I thought it shouldn’t be there.
I have always felt more comfortable when around girls and the stuff the girls did. Anyway fast forward to today……what happens?
I don’t think there is a day that I haven’t worn something fem. When I am out early going for my morning walk it is always in my fem gear and I always wear fem underwear at work. I always volunteer for the roles traditionally given to the girls where I work and my mannerisms I have started to be more fem: the way I sit, the way I stand and the way I interact with team members & customers. I don’t care what people think of me if they think I am girly or not.
One thing I have noticed is the way customers interact with me, they are always passing compliments in subtle ways. Maybe that is more wishful thinking – I don’t know nor do I care.
Would I ever present as female in public – no. Although I did win a prize at a change of sex night, a lot of people asked me if I wore female clothing a lot as I wore a gown that fitted me, shoes that fitted and my (small) breasts were real with a bra that fitted.
I don’t know if I am a crossdresser, TV, TS or androgynous or just a bloke with feminine traits that is up to other people to decide. All I know is that I am comfortable in my skin and the lifestyle choice I have chosen.
I first dressed at age 11 for a Halloween party my neighbor who was a junior high cheerleader dressed me up in her uniform complete with pantyhose after the party ended I went
Directly home and called the neighbor to tell her I would return her uniform the next day. When I got home my first thought was to got to the bathroom to see how well she had dressed me . I must say it was exciting to see myself in the mirror all done up with makeup she had even curled my hair which was
Fairly long back the early seventies. My excuse to my brother
In the bunk above me was that I was to tired to change before
Going to bed when I really just wanted to stay all made up in the cheerleader outfit, Don’t think I slept a minute that night!
i knew around 8 years old start dress secretly at 10
Truly, I don’t remember a time when I did not have the wish that I had been born a girl.
My mother seemed to know more about how I felt than I did. When I was very young, perhaps four or five, she told me one day while we were in her bedroom that she had hoped before I was born that I would be a girl.
I asked her what name she would have given me if I had been born a girl.
She told me, Andrea.
Then she asked me if I would like to be called Andrea when I helped her with her house work. I was mesmerized! How did she know what I wanted? How did she know how to help me understand what I wanted?
Needless to say I was her helper and friend and she was my confidant after that.
It wasn’t the clothes that led me to my cross-dressing. It wasn’t something that someone forced me into. It was my idea….I think!
But mother did not try to talk me out of being her “good little girl”. She just led me where I already wanted to go.
Thank you for the forum and opportunity to express my story,Lucille! You have a great site! Love and gratitude from
Andrea Abstemius.
Interesting question Lucille. It be nice if it were a simple answer, but for me it is not. Was there any definitive time in my life that I actually thought “Yes, I know in my heart that I have feminine spirit and this is who I am”?
That realization didn’t happen until much later in my life, like maybe five years ago when it clicked. I think up until that point, I was, who everyone told me I was. I mean they could see me, so they must know! I just know I never felt like I thought I should feel the way they were telling me I should feel. All through out my life I experimented with wearing female clothing, I must have got caught at some point in my life and was told that that wasn’t appropriate. I just don’t remember, but how else would one learn that something that felt alright was wrong?
I do remember key moments fairly vividly and it is kind of funny that they have also been repeated by my mother. But as you can imagine the context in my mind was quite different than hers. There is one story that she loves to relate and this is one I remember quite clearly. I was about five or six, still in kindergarten. It was a Saturday, I know this as my dad always worked on the cars on Saturday, and I was out in the garage with him watching him work. I am not sure what prompted me to say this, maybe our little toy poodle walking into the garage from the back yard. But I said “Even the dog is a girl” You see, I had three older sisters and a brand new baby sister. When they relate the story it is out of frustration that it is just my dad and I that are the males, but that is not it at all. I know that statement was a proclamation of the confusion as to why I wasn’t a girl.
Another instance sticks in my head from a couple of years later. Mom was hosting an Avon party, anybody remember those? I happened to be just hanging out and watching; for the life of me I can’t think of why my mom and her friend did this, just goofing off I guess. But they put some foundation and a little blush and whatever, like I was a little movie actor on me. And I just remember how great I felt, and how hard I fought when mom insisted that she needed to wash it off. I don’t think she won until the next morning though :-P.
And another key moment to increasing my gender identity confusion was of course puberty. I was a late bloomer, way late, like almost 17 before any pubic or facial hair started coming in. Yah, try going through the last 5 years of k-12 with that going on in the 70’s. Not fun, needless to say I couldn’t wait, I prayed for puberty to happen. And when it finally did, I couldn’t stand it. I hated it. I hated all the body hair. I started frequently shaving everything again, well as soon as I didn’t have to do PE classes.
So long story short Lucille, I didn’t know – that I knew. Resources like this did not exist back then. As I reflect back now, I could probably go for another hour or so, but I think I’ve always known.
Thanks again for being here for us.