I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I have read posts from many transgendered women that they “knew they were a girl” at some early age, but I can’t say that’s true for me. I found female things irresistable at an early age. I would sneak into my mother’s dressing room and try on her things when I was 8 or 9. All I knew then was that there was something “wrong with me”. I was deeply ashamed of my feelings, and I tried desperately to suppress them.
I grew up playing sports, being a boy, and dating girls. Girls were attractive to me, but by my late teens and early 20s my feelings were very conflicted. I wanted girls, but I even more wanted to *be* a girl.
It wasn’t until I was in college and could do my own research in the university libraries that I could conceive of the concept of being “transsexual”. That was the best term that fit, but I still wasn’t sure that was me. It wasn’t until the last ten years or so, when the concept of transgenderedness appeared in popular culture, did I finally figured out that’s what I was. It explained everything.
So now I know. Does it “feel wonderful”? No. No one in their right mind would want to be transgendered. Nonetheless, I have decided to transition, knowing it may cost me my children and my career. I am hoping it will not come to that. I am 57, and I have done everything I was “supposed to do”: served my country, got married and had children, and had a career. Now I want a few good years for myself, as the women I always longed to be.
When I hit puberty at about ten as I Started to develop the wrong way
My journey has been interesting for sure, sad, but right now is going in the right direction.
The first “nudge” to my female self I can even remember was 4 years old, I was in pre-school and couldn’t fall asleep for nap time. The girl who was sleeping next to me had to go to the bathroom. I looked at her shoes and for some reason wanted to try them on, they fit and they felt better and more comfortable on me than the shoes I wore that day.
The next time was around 7, there were multiple cases that year of me preferring to play with a girl I was friends with and with her toys as well as getting caught dressing up in a princess outfit and being laughed at. I stopped myself for the next while cause it made me feel like I had done something wrong.
The problem though was I was very confused during my childhood. I was a boy, I was told I had to be a boy, but I never, ever understood why I wanted girl things or to do girl things.
Teenage years were the worst, I got my hands on some dresses and other clothes after I turned 13 and that’s also around the time I discovered the term Transgender. It was a bit of a eye opener and was the time where I finally started questioning my gender. Sadly that was short lived as I got caught cross dressing and my father, mostly in shock, yelled at me about it instead of talking to me about it. This made me think what I was doing was wrong and against everything I should be doing, so I buried myself in being a guy.
After I graduated high school, I went into a massive loooooong period of depression and complete uncertainty as to who I was. Now, 5 years later, I have come to terms with myself and accepted that this is who I am on the inside. I am sad I have a lot of work to do though. Even though my brain is already changing to match my real self and become more woman like, like a switch was flipped in my head, I have so many years of “being a guy” to get out of my system. 😛 It only has been a month since I came to terms with this after all so I know I shouldn’t feel too bad about it.
I am glad I have been able to come out at 23 years old though, because I don’t think I would have survived even another year being miserable at myself.
I am still new to all this and new to here, but thanks for listening to my story and thanks for having this website full of information and programs I can use to help make myself the woman I am on the inside.
ive known my hole life i was a girl but had to hide it.
ive started my transition over 5 yrs ago.
i now live full-time and have gone tru the full gender change.
im living a happy life 🙂
I kinda had the feeling when i was 5 or 6 years old i had what you would call an imagineneary friend when i was young and the persaunna i had of was when i was wonderwoman she was my imagineneary friend and i would play with the girls mostly in my neighborhood and i would play dolls with the neighborhood girls and i played house with my neighborhood girl friends that I was friends with and I would play girl games with them and i jump rope with the girls and play hopscotch and one day my friends ask me if i would play dress up with them and i did i was curious about wearing girl clothes and i would wear one of my friends dresses that they ask me to wear and play house with them and we would have a tea party and stuff like that then on chrismas my mother bought me my frist Barbie doll I dont know why my mother bought me a barbie doll for chismas and my father dint know why my mom gave me a barbie doll i guess my mother thought i look more like a girl than i did look like a boy i got my looks on my mothers side of her family and mothers friends always said i look just like her in every way and when mom wasnt home i would put my mothers clothes on when she and my dad was at work
sencerly
Rock Bass
When the results of my Blood work came back with a higher estrogen count then my testosterone count. And my testosterone count was normal for a male.
I’ve been dressing in girl clothes all my life as far back as my memory goes. never understood what I was and who I was.
But when my Doctor went over the results of my blood analysis and told me that “I suspect that you might even be XX chromosome”.
That was It!
That’s when I knew it wasn’t me. I’m not crazy. I really am a girl. This took place in Fall of 2010
So funny this came up because I just had this conversation with a friend this week. I was @ 5 when my mom caught a friend and myself prancing around in her heels and a hat. She laughed and watched for a bit finding it funny saying that all boys do that at some point. But I remembered it vividly for years, how great it felt, way more than a passing fancy . Then the big bomb dropped in my head. I found some old Penthouse and Playboys in my uncles basement at @ 13-14. I remember like yesterday the feelings I had. I was so confused, I know this is cliche but instead of wnting to be with the hot girls I so wanted to feel what it was like to be one of them in stockings and lace. I started sneaking around wearing my sisters panties and pantyhose after that. Not to long after that I saw some graphic porn…that is when I knew something was wired different. All my friends were talking about getting “it” from women like in the magazines but I had to hide the fact that I wanted to be in their shoes…it began a fixation I hid for years until I tried. Thank god I did because I found the true me afer being hidden and embarrassed about it for decades. I am finally happy with myself and my life…
Started about 10 would dress and play it was great, just got better as I got older, won’t bore you 68 now and girl all the way!! Thanks!!