Choosing the right words to describe your gender identity can feel tricky. For transgender and non-binary people, finding a label that fits is personal and important.
Using respectful language matters. Outdated or offensive terms can hurt, so it’s okay to set boundaries about how others address you.
At the same time, you are more than a label. What matters most is how you choose to define yourself, no matter where you are on the gender spectrum.
Do you have a label that feels right – like crossdresser, transgender woman, non-binary, or something else?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, so let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
Dear Lucille,
I really enjoy the opportunity to respond to your challenges.
I consider myself to be transgender. Now that western society has more or less come round to accepting us a normal part of the fabric of the societal spectrum, we can begin to live in harmony. Therefore, I don’t mind the label.
I believe that most Tgirls, to use a label that probably covers most of us, have a great admiration for genetic women and that maybe goes part of the way in explaining why we have a desire to emulate them. I consider it a blessing that I have this wondeful pleasure in life and would not want to be without it. If I had been born as a genetic female, applying makeup every day and wearing a beautiful dress would not have the same exciting appeal as it does for me.
My only regret is that I wasn’t born at least 30 years later than I was. The internet is a phenomenal benefit for the Tgirls of today, which we all should appreciate.
Love Davina
Hate the term “Transvestite” It’s cold and insensitive. I’m happy with Tranny but mostly prefer ” Transgendered”
I think I’m probably a cross dresser. but the more I cross dress, the more I feel cross gender. I think i’m basically male, but seem to be veering towards something else. It’s so exciting to be something else
Human we are if not seen as so by all , but my sex determination would have to be transgender, which the predictive text ignored till the very end, how surprising to be thought of last , hmmm . Reminds me no box for us to tick on most every web page and this is a modern world ?
I have always found ‘Transvestite’ to be cold and technical. I like Tranny but know find I’m now most comfortable as ‘Transgendered’. These are my thoughts for what they’re worth.
I identify as a woman, nothing more. If I have to use a T* term, I use transgender or sometimes transsexual, but I really prefer not to use either.
Siobhan
There are a couple of terms that I have always felt comfortable using to describe myself. The term that I have used most has been transgender. This fits as I currently live in both genders. I am most comfortable, most natural, and prefer, living as a woman. I truly believe that I was born with a female brain. The other terms that I am comfortable using are transwoman and transgendered woman since they do fit my status. The terms that I absolutely despise are transvestite and tranny as I consider myself neither. This is not about the outside package for me, rather, it is about who I am and how I feel. I also do not like the term crossdresser for the same reasons. Frankly, I am not crossdresssing when I am presenting in my true gender, I am dressing appropriately!
YOU LOOK VERY LOVELY AND THATS A VERY NICE PHOTO
HI Lucille,
I’m 62 and crossdressed at the early age of 10! Married and have children grown now! Divorced and in the solitude of my home 20 years ago I started “dressing” thinking of myself as a crossdresser but something in me said something differant. I knew I was more. Seeing a gender therapist she too labeled me as a transgendered person but stiil I knew there was more. Reading TRUE SELVES and SHE’S NOT THERE gave me the necessary research to find myself. The more I read, the more I was feeling comfortable with myself! Also, I’m preparing to start HRT under a doctor’s care! The flat2fem program helped so much! Transexual comes to mind but a woman clarifies the true me. I too have seen the awful prejudice of the other names stereo typing us girls as something other than human! it disgusts me but it’s the awful norm of our country!
Lisa