Have you noticed that all stunning women have one thing in common – besides their killer looks? It’s CONFIDENCE.
Confidence is also half the battle of passing or blending in as a woman. That’s why the best MTF advice I can give you is to develop your confidence!
Of course, I understand that it’s easier said than done. That’s why in this blog post, I share 3 ways to feel more confident as a crossdresser or transgender woman – starting right now!
1. Stop Criticizing Yourself
How can you expect to feel confident if you constantly put yourself down?
Most of us are so used to criticizing ourselves that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It’s a bad habit – but like all bad habits, it can be broken.
The first step to stopping the cycle is to interrupt your thoughts. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, literally tell yourself to STOP.
Next, find a way to reframe your thoughts into something more positive. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Look for progress rather than perfection.
This might sound like simple advice, but it works if you actually do it.
2. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Confidence is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. And just like your muscles, it’s something you can develop and improve.
One of the best ways to develop confidence is to take action. You’ll never build confidence if you stay in your comfort zone and do the same things you’ve always done.
So get out there and try something new! Take a few risks! For example, step out with painted toenails, book a makeup lesson, or join a crossdressing or transgender Meetup.
Once you do, you’ll be amazed at how confident you start to feel in situations that once terrified you.
3. Celebrate Your Successes
Appreciating your accomplishments is another great way to increase your confidence.
It’s easy to focus on the areas that still need improving, but don’t lose sight of how far you’ve come.
What risks did you take today? What did you do well? No matter how small, start to recognize these and celebrate them.
More confidence boosters
Confidence is one of the most important feminine qualities you can develop. These tips are a great starting point.
If you want to learn more, here are my favorite books for building confidence:
- Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Now let’s hear from you…
Where do YOU fall on the confidence scale? If you consider yourself a stunning, self-assured woman (and I hope you do!), what confidence boosting tips can you share?
Please leave your comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. One of my favorite confidence boosting tools is hypnosis. Want to try it for yourself?
Click here to sign up for my FREE 8 minute Unleash Your Inner Woman hypnosis mini session.
On a scale of 10 (hi) to 1 (lo) my self confidence is negative 12. Most people avoid me like the plague (my wife, kids, friends, neighbors, colleagues) and those that do approach are just interested in quick, risky nsa sex and lie to me then exploit me and ultimately discard me like subhuman garbage. My wife says it’s all my fault I’m all alone because I drive everyone away.
I agree that I am totally and utterly alone and isolated but disagree with the how and the why.
I dont have very much confidence in myself right now and my self-esteem is very low. I have tried wearing a bra and panty underneath my male clothes at times and I think that everyone sees me in them so I try and make sure i wear bulky clothes when I do that. I feel excited when wearing them out but also afraid to be made fun at. How can I make myself not care what everyone feels about my look.
I have read many of the girls comments and they all have two things in common. They all have a goodly amount of self confidence and they don’t overdress. I still have to work “male” but I do wear ladies pants, tops, and shoes without any harassment. My co workers just treat me as another worker. The ladies do take note of what I have on and give me nice kudos as I do with them. Standard workplace complements go a long way. Even though I don’t wear much makeup until weekends, when I go shopping at a grocery or other store I am addressed as a female. I love that and I do use a soft feminine voice as much as I can. During the weekends when I shop then I’m dressed up a little more and that’s when I notice getting looked at and believe it or not, I get more positive looks and comments from other ladies. Most of the guys just look and some even drool a little. Yep, I love that too!
Since the workers at stores have been calling me mam for a long time, I decided to just go for it and be a lady when I shop. Now I have befriended several folks that I probably would not have in guy mode. I actually have checkout ladies that if I don’t go thru their line get upset. If I don’t have my makeup and jewelry on they ask why not. That’s a confidence booster. They miss it cause they are used to seeing me dressed well. Simple but elegent is the best look ever. My grandmother told me that ladies do not leave the house without their hose, heels, and wearing a skirt or dress. Pants were a no no and so were sneakers and curlers. If you’re going to be female then be pretty and always try to act like a LADY. Go for it cause no one else out there really cares about what you look like. They have their own addenda. Have fun!!!!!! It’s great to be a lady!!!!!
B.J….
You look gorgeous! Love your style.
At 73 , I have been out in public since the 1960’s!!
Grandma hasn’t seen me in Pants…
Love the 1950′ s look….
ENJOY Being You…
Dr. T.J.
Pics for your evaluation….
Hi girls!
My name is Luciana. I am 26 years old and live in Argentina -South America-.
I have always been an androgynous boy and I took this to the next level 2 or 3 years ago when I decided to grow my hair. Now my hair is mid back length, I style it a lot so it looks feminine. I started to pluck my eyebrows a couple of months ago and that made a huge difference on the way I look. I use natural makeup every single day of my life – just foundation, concealer, pressed powder and thats it- even when I go to work (Sometimes when I go out to clubs I use lipstick too).
In a regular day, I go out wearing “unisex” clothing -more feminine than masculine- ( very tight jeans, tight feminine t-shirts, ladies boots, etc).
I get a lot of catcalls from men all the time in the streets. The other day I went to a store to buy a few things I needed. When I was at the checkout, I gave the cashier my credit card (with my male name on it) and she literally said: “Does this card belong to you?” and I said “Yes!”. I guess she did not understand what was going on, but that was okay. It actually made my day! The same happens when I am in line waiting for the bus to come. Many men let me get on the bus first, or they even offer me their seats if no seat is available and I am standing in the bus!
Back in November I visited NYC and was treated as a lady in most fast food places, airport, etc.
However, I still feel like I need some more confidence to go out . I recently purchased a pair of medical prosthetic boobs just to see how they looked. They were amazing! One weekend I decided to go out with my new boobs and the attention from men in the streets was incredible. Even those walking in the street with their girlfriends could not resist to look at me in the good way.
Based on my experience, I believe people see me as a girl and they expect no other thing from me than just being a girl. However, I sometimes put myself down and I am always afraid of looking like a guy trying to be a girl, when most people actually see a girl. I dont know why.
My goal for this 2015 is to start hormones soon and wearing more feminine clothing rather than “unisex”/androgynous clothes.
Hi Luciana,
About the name on your credit card, check with the credit card company to see if you can add “Luciana” as a second user on your credit card. I do not know about Argentina or your credit card company, but here in the US, all I had to do was get on the cards website and add “Robyn” as a second user and in a week or so I got a new card for “Robyn”.
Good Luck,
Robyn
Great advice and so simple! I’m not to that stage yet but if I ever get there….
Hi
I have been following this blog over the last few weeks and been finding it very helpful. So I thought that I would jump in with my own little confidence tip.
Over the years, I have introduced myself to the world in more of my feminine self. One of the things that I have done that has helped is to travel to Las Vegas where I then experiment with my latest project. Recently, I was in Vegas as a women for 3 days. During that time, I did a bunch of firsts like ordered food, and purchased clothes using my female voice. Now I have returned to my Canadian home confident that I can now do these activities up here without a lot of fuss. It is really a good way to build confidence and a lot of fun.
Anyways, just a quick thought. Thanks to all of the girls that have submitted. Your tips have been great.
Gerri
I wonder if my confidence shows. When I go out dressed I am just me.
I am in transition and Pre-everything.
You look great . Love the outfits, smile , and your Confidence!!!
Jessika
You look lovely!
As far as confidence, I kept getting “outed” as a female when dressed as a male, so I took the plunge and went full femme. I haven’t got an Adam’s apple, and have more than a little of an hourglass figure (which I hope not to lose during the holidays, LOL). Also, at 5’6″ I’m not as tall as the guys, and women’s size 8 shoes.
So when I got my femme clothes, they fit much better than the men’s (no surprise there), and I was so elated over the fit that I never thought about passing. My friend who was with me in the changing room remarked I had a better figure than she did, and with one look got my exact size. When I left I had an entire wardrobe, and never looked back.
I think it is beyond confidence–and the acknowledgement that this is who you are. IF you are comfortable in your own skin, and some women are not, then you exude a vibe that you are a woman that is at peace with who she is, and that vibe is what is picked up by others–and that means clothes that fit well, and do not require adjustment–including good fitting bras–and NO FIDGETING! Any kind of nervous repetitive activity is a signal that you really do not want to be where you are. So leggings that ride down and seams from a discount store that bite into your skin is a no-no, as are bras that either creak when you take a deep breath, or bras that have straps that want to migrate south for the winter (get racerbacks).
So learn what fits first, and style second (both are a necessity). It HAS to fit if you are going to feel confident. It also needs to be age appropriate, so a woman in her 50’s would not dare dress in a miniskirt. If you do this, and realize what you’ve done your ego will collapse like a bad soufflé. Dressing is like a chess game–it’s all about strategy. Guys just throw clothes on. Women carefully select what is appropriate for the given situation, like a good chess move. This means sifting through more variables than men do, but it must be done to do it right. That is why we have a larger wardrobe–it’s not about being a clothes horse. It’s fine tuning the outfit for a given situation.
Hope this helps. Thanks Lucille for all the great tips!
Eliza
Like other girls on this thread, I travel a lot and get out a lot. I’m hardly bashful about where I go. I attribute this to the idea that I’m tall (5’11” in stocking feet) and will be noticed regardless of whether I’m a boy or a girl AND that I know my money spends the same way, regardless of my mode.
I travel (fly) em femme for work. I’ve gotten to the point where I am wearing woman’s dress slacks to work. I already do eye makeup and powder for work; adding a new dimension – mixing femme bottoms with male tops and styling my longer hair in such a way that one can’t tell M from F – makes going to work fun and helps.
None of this would be possible if I weren’t confident that I can pull it off. Getting hit on by some very good looking men while I travel (including ‘can we sit together?’ offers) tells me that I’m doing something right.