Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I’m 64 and usually I’m just content to blend in, though there are times I like to stand out. It’s ironic that sometimes when I’m trying the least to “pass” is when I’m called ma’am, her, or she, and when I’m dressed to the nines someone will “read” me and call me sir. That’s just life. I will admit that I DO like it when someone sees me as a woman and compliments me on my appearance, or when my wife and I are out shopping and a clerk refers to us as, “You ladies.” Being in Central Texas, we’re all pretty casual during the summer, so even the men and women kind of blend into each other. When it’s 105 degrees and your makeup starts to melt as soon as you get out of an air conditioned car or building, it’s hard to think of much but comfort. 😉
For me, it’s become a combination of the two. You always want to blend in. The very nature of that statement denotes that you’ve been accepted to some extent. However, any girl out clubbing hardly spends hours on end in front of a mirror for the sole purpose of just blending in. I know I don’t! I would love to be noticed as a sensual and beautiful woman. After all, that IS what I aspire to be. 🙂
I like to blend in but realise how difficult and demanding that can be at times. My sister persuaded me to have my arms waxed a week ago – even though I am blonde and not that hairy. The beautician was great, as usual, and when she finished told how much more feminine that made me look. It did make a difference and she has suggested other treatments to make me more womanly. I just want to pass OK
When I dressed as a guy, I tried to blend in until I came to France, and the people there saw right through it and called me “Madam”. After that, I went into counseling, and got the go ahead to begin transition. That was over a year ago, and I never regretted one minute of that. I guess “transition” is not quite accurate, but it is what the process is called nevertheless.
As a guy, you don’t want to stand out. Blending in is the rule. As a woman, I blend in for business meetings, and quite likely stand out when I feel like it. As a guy, there is very little choice or creative expression in clothing. When I got my new wardrobe, my head spun with the combinations that were available, with not really much more than I had as a pseudo-male. If it’s hot, a guy just has a t-shirt, which I couldn’t do as it showed the Ace bandage underneath. As a woman, I can put a scarf tucked around my breasts with a light skirt, and I’m cooler than dressed as a male.
Invention is the keyword with a wardrobe. It can make you blend in or stand out–which really means personal expression.
This inventiveness extends to every part of a woman’s life, and we think outside the box as a result, and this drives the guys crazy. It’s not crazy–we are just more creative.
So stand out when you feel like it, or blend in if you feel like doing that. It’s all about choice!
Such an extremely interesting topic for us girls!! As a 6,3 ft high girl I dream about blending in, but will probably never succeed.. So this is my vote..
However also convinced that our self confidance is for 99% the factor that makes us pass or not! All the best, you great girls! Nina from Belgium Europe.
I don’t pass. I stand out as a x dresser. One look and they know
but here is the important part:
I don’t care
as I have only come out as a public sissy in the last 6 months
I have been to stores manicure ad make over
an I love it all
Donna
For a long time in my life I always was a master of disguise in male mode and that included not only looking like a man but acting like a man sometimes with rather crude behaviors. Now that I’m finally living 24/7 as a woman I feel much more like a woman and acting as one in my daily tasks around town. In stores and shops wherever I go I converse as a woman would such as giving compliments on that particular store’s contents to the owners and making fun light conversations. Thats how I blend in as a female. Makeup and clothing and hair can be the outwardly manifestation of my new femininity but its sooo important to develop ones inner female soul and then the blending into society is much more accepted. Love to all of you
Dana
I try to dress in good taste and avoid looking sloppy. I keep my hair nice and wear simple, comfortable skirts and tops. I have never taken HRT and so I don’t expect to pass, but surprisingly, many people are happy that I’m just being myself. Maybe they see the courage in just living as your true self. It seems to make them smile back.