It’s not easy being a crossdresser or transgender woman. When you add envy and comparison to the mix, it can make the journey even tougher.
The truth is, it’s all too common to fall into the comparison trap – whether it’s measuring up to cisgender women or looking at those girls who are further along in their MTF transitions.
Feeling jealous or envious every now and then is perfectly normal. But it doesn’t exactly feel great, does it? Plus, it can hinder your progress towards your own goals.
So, how can you manage these emotions? In this blog post on male to female tips, I’ll share 5 strategies to help you conquer envy and comparison.
1. Recognize That You Don’t See the Whole Picture
It’s easy to feel inadequate when scrolling through seemingly flawless Instagram photos. Social media can be a breeding ground for envy, but remember these two important things:
- Most people present an idealized version of themselves online. Those filtered photos may not accurately reflect their true appearance.
- You have no insight into what’s happening behind the scenes. Even those with seemingly perfect lives have their own issues and insecurities.
Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself scrolling through social media!
2. Let Envy Inspire You
Envy is a sign that someone has something you want for yourself, and that’s not a bad thing. Instead of letting envy make you feel down, use it as a source of inspiration.
Set achievable goals and direct your energy toward reaching them. Taking positive action feels incredible, and it can be a powerful way to turn envy into motivation.
3. Get Out and Live Your Life
If you find yourself spending too much time on social media or passively observing others, it can easily lead to negative thought patterns.
Simply put, you need to spend less time in your own head and more time enjoying your fabulous life!
When you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s less room for obsessive comparison.
4. Surround Yourself with Positivity
Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?
Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.
I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets, such as Meetup groups, support groups, or online communities that uplift your spirits.
5. Appreciate Yourself
Remember this: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” To overcome envy, shift the focus back to what makes you special, unique, and beautiful.
There’s no finite supply of beauty or success in the world, so keep reminding yourself of your strengths and attributes.
Is this advice clichéd? Perhaps, but it works!
How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?
Feeling envious or making comparisons is normal, but the sooner you shift the focus back to your own life and goals, the better.
Because, girlfriend, you are amazing just the way you are!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
There’s comparison for learning purposes which is Ok, but comparison combined with envy can be painful. If we compare ourselves with real women it is a house of cards. We must accept who we are and make the best of it. I sometimes look at women and think, ” wow, it would be nice to have that shape, ” but to be honest, It is a dream, a dream I’m sure most of us share. Take comfort in knowing that there are women out there that look at us and think, ” I would like to look that good. ” My x was intimidated because she thought I looked better the she did, I didn’t think that at all. Look and learn, but don’t compete. Envy will take you down.
Hi, I’m Lilly. I’m a 17 year old trans girl from Quebec, Canada.
I’ve been having trouble with confidence for years. I want to dress how I want and be who I really am. But my jawline is very… Defined… And I’m bad at makeup.
The fear of not passing prevents me from actually having the confidence to be Lilly. I hide under a hoodie to hide my breasts and only wear feminine clothes when I feel safe (on my room, despite my parents supporting me)
I would appreciate any help I can get. Ill keep browsing your site (that has already helped me acquire a very feminine body (thank you for that by the way))
Hi Lucille honey goodness girlfriend’s I wish I could be as confident as I used to be in my younger years of course I never looked as good as any of you I don’t think but then I’ve only been trying to transition the last couple of years without too much success except for achieving the small amount of breast development although for me it feels great to have my little Bcup breasts they are more than I did have just by taking fenugreek and somewhat of an hourglass figure I guess from crossdressing as long as I have lol I guess I’ll never give up on transitioning to full-time SRS is out of reach on my income being on disability benefits alone at 58 in a couple of weeks anyway I Love You Girlfriend’s Love M.J.
I have always felt as the world around me hated me. It was like as if they didn’t like me because I was who I was. So I started to envy other queens in the shows. wishing I was them.
I’ve been buried six feet deep in envy. I used to be lesbian and am still insatiably attracted to women, but I can’t be around them anymore because it hurts so much. I do have a lot of attractive attributes but I feel like they mean nothing because my height, or my hand or my shoulders, or just the intense look on my face gives me away. people stare at me, and I’m told that its because of my sense of style, but I’m ALWAYS always paranoid that they are trying to figure out my gender.
There is not a single day that goes by where my jealousy doesn’t drive me insane.
🙁
I try to not compare myself to others, but when I do, I just try to be that much better!
I deal with envy and jelousy by looking at myself and setting higher goals to reach a new level. It works quite well!
I love everything about Lucille she is totally awesome my male to female sex change last year changed my life for the better im who I am now 100 percent beautiful woman now and forever amen
Ur super hot. I’d take u out
I totally agree!!
I agree as well.