Do you ever feel misunderstood?
Sadly, there’s a lot of ignorance out there. That’s why I decided to put together a post debunking some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
Let’s start with one of the BIGGEST myths of all:
Transgender women, crossdressers, and drag queens are all the same.
I created this site to be a welcoming place for transgender women, crossdressers, and those on all sides of the gender spectrum. But as you know, these are distinct groups and the terms aren’t interchangeable.
Here’s how the GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines some common transgender terms:
- Transgender women – People who were assigned male at birth but who identify as women. Many transgender women are prescribed hormones or undergo surgery, but transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.
- Crossdressers – Men, typically heterosexual men, who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories associated with women. This activity is a form of gender expression and is not done for entertainment purposes. Crossdressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.
- Drag queens – Men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment.
- Gender non-conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming
- Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of man and woman. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
Now that the record has been set straight, let’s look at some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
7 Myths About Transgender Women
- Being transgender is a choice.
- Transgender people are gay.
- Transgender women aren’t “real” women.
- Your sex is defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
- You have to have surgery to be a “real” transgender person.
- You aren’t transgender until you start HRT.
- Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender.
7 Myths About Crossdressers
- Crossdressers are gay.
- Crossdressers are perverts.
- Crossdressing is a psychological problem.
- Crossdressing can be cured.
- Crossdressers want to change their sex.
- Crossdressing is a destructive addiction.
- Crossdressers can’t be good husbands or fathers.
Have you heard any of these myths before? They’re frustrating and hurtful, aren’t they?
It’s time for the world to wake up and realize this truth:
Your gender is who you are on the inside. There are infinite gender expressions and all are valid!
GLAAD has some excellent resources to spread awareness of transgender issues. I highly recommend checking them out.
Recommended Resources from GLAAD
- Transgender FAQ
- Tips for Allies
- GLAAD’s Work on Transgender Issues
- Report Defamation
- Transgender Resources
Now let’s hear from you…
What’s the truth that YOU’D like to set straight? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Perhaps the one thing I disagree with is the definition of the crossdresser. OK, I admit that most are straight, but many are gay or bisexual. Crossdressers ARE TRANSGENDERED. I think many transsexuals really start as crossdressers and then come to the realization that they really are women inside but have been suppressing their femininity so as to conform to what society expects of the male.
Why the myths about crossdresser or transsexuals, I think it goes to the issue of equality. Women say they want equality, but how can a woman be equal to the man if the man cannot be equal to the woman? It is not equality, but superiority that is desired. When the male enters the woman’s teritory he is promoting equality. Men don’t like the transgender because they have superiority and do not want to relenquish it. They see us as giving up superiority for equality.
Crossdressers aren’t transgender though and they don’t fall under the umbrella of transgender. You are right though that many trans* people start out as crossdressers, however,they are still trans* and just don’t realize it yet. One can not become transgender\transsexual it’s quite literally how one is born. And to
your point about males entering the territory of females I think has much more to do with patriarchy than females being upset that we are entering their space. In western societies like the US for example it’s perfectly acceptable for females to be bisexual, lesbian, and to also act and dress more masculine. It’s even encouraged.
However, when a male shows the slightest bit of femininity or being gay or bisexual the stigma attached to it by society and the repercussions and negativity around it are great. Females are just as capable of internalizing misogyny and anti-LGBT feelings and sentiments are males are. In fact, many females internalize misogynistic feelings and ideas without realizing it all. Those are just my thoughts on it, but crossdressers are definitely not transgender though as they aren’t crossdressing because they have questions about their gender orientation and gender identity, which is a person who is trans* may start out crossdressing or being a drag queen.
Everyday I fell womanly and want to dress like a woman and look like a woman on the outside but my friends and family don’t see it that way they think I need to stay a male in order to keep my family of 3 kids…..my kids don’t even know that I want to be the mommy full time instead of the dad…..I know I have gender dysphoria but don’t have the resources or the money to be a reality….I want to use your products but don’t know if they will work…..my male part is over running my decision to become female….any suggestions
Sadly I am not sure where I fit in cross-dresser or transgender
I am a woman on the inside should’ve been born female but I was sadly born a man a slender built not real masculine man. I am married I have children and I don’t plan to change my sex. In the perfect world I would’ve been born female but I have grown to accept that I am male. I find joy allowing myself to look how I feel on the inside occasionally and I enjoy the company of another male to be my company when I enjoy my female soul. Does this make me gay or bisexual I try to think that I am gay but I love my wife and I find women attractive as well but I’d rather be with a man therefore I don’t know if there is a category that I fit into but I just excepted who I am
Love yourself, be yourself,enjoy everything that this sweet gift of life has to offer. Love and aloha -Lulu
Hello in the medical term im a post op transgender woman
Although i feel as a woman from the inside
As a ex sexworker i sometimes got the question. Are you a real woman? My answer was. Yes im a real woman with real feminine feelings but if you want a child from me i cannot give you that . I can give you all pleasure a biological woman gives that i can
Hi Aaliyah I’m in one step to have got F64 for further actions. So if you are registered on PinkEssence find me here Margo Lunar. It will be very interesting to discuss these common problems.
Very beautifully stated, we are kindred spirits.
Easy to cast an idea of what a person is if you have no idea what that person is about. I try to reach out and let people know what I am, that I have found my happy place in life. Send out love and aloha -Lulu
Oh Lucille,here in italy it’s really hard.If i go out during the day people laugh or point at me because i’m a sissy transvestite .if i go out during the night for most of the people i’m a prostitute ..myths ? Here we are sissy or whores ..nothing more
Oh no! Sounds like a neighborhood of very rude people. That has to make you feel badly. That type of negative attitude comes from people that feel so poorly about themselves that they have to diminish someone else to make themselves feel better. Don’t ever accept poor behavior from people like that, just realize that they’re probably miserable about themselves, that you’re better and stronger than they are. Love and aloha -Lulu
If people perceive you as a sissy or prostitute, you may want to have a second look at how you dress. Standing out from the crowd creates attention. I don’t know what you are wearing when you go out, but maybe trying on some jeans, a nice top and leaving your high heels at home might help you blend in. Train your voice, go easy on makeup and see how it goes.
Gender identity is on a continuum and not strictly defined into one category in all cases. I consider myself bi-gender. I have two distinct and separate personas. One is female and one is male. I don’t consider myself a transgender woman, but think I am more than a crossdresser….perhaps “transgender light” or a “crossdresser on steroids”. LOL I don’t consider myself gay, but my female persona is very attracted to men and I date men as any heterosexual woman would. Oh, and I am a very good father! Just ask my daughter!!
“My female persona is very attracted to men and I date men as any heterosexual woman would.”
Very well put! That’s exactly the way I feel!
… and beside being a great father, you look awesome, too! 🙂
Isn’t incredible to be able to slide between either gender. It’s like having super powers! -Lulu
Hiya everyone, okay sooooo I’m, apparently, under the crossdressing bracket. Another point of view is this!! I actually consider myself transgender, my reasoning is this, I do identify as being more female than male however due to, in the past, not being able to accept this I tried hard to become more male, married, had kids, went on a body building frenzy, grew a beard, lol. It wasn’t until my marriage broke up that I accepted my true self and worked hard to be the person I am now. I have made a choice to remain in my male body and “crossdress” openly. My family, friends and kids all know and accept me for who I am. I cannot, in good consciousness deprive my children of their father. I’ve read stories from children saying how they feel that there father is dead and how a woman, who knows them intimately, has taken his place. Therefore I will for there sakes stay as I am. This is just my view of things, another thought to put in the pot so to speak, a trans woman who is still male but not trapped in a mans body but is accepting of being a part time girl and full time father. Love Davina xxx
Beautifully stated. -Lulu
Have 5 kids(now grown)& am still married& my kids(&my wife) accept my fem side just fine–Honest communication is the answer!