“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I will agree that blending is is much more imortant that simply passing. The older I get the harder it is for me to pass mainly because I still want to look like that 25 year old sex bomb.
But the key for me is dressing apropriatly to where your going. If you going to a Drag bar then does it realy matter just cake on the make up with loads of contrast. But if your going to the grocery store swap that mini skirt for a maxi skirt or pair of jeans and only use the bare mnimium of make up.
Dress for the opcaddion and the veue and you will be alright 90% of the time regardlest if your the ugliest duckling in the pond.
But buying quality products is important. Mascara the runs, skirts to tight, or unnatural synthetic wigs are the biggest give aways.
Hi Lucille
I have been cross-dressing for most of my life and have passed as a female
with confidants. I have gone shopping
at shopping malls to buy women’s clothing, makeup, ext…..
Love,
Urmas { Sarah }
Iam a crossdresser wanting more i do not pass. how do you ask a doctor for hrt i can’t be fultime but would like to have the body.thanks for all your help.
Hi Lucille,
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but passing as a woman is very difficult in Indian society because if a Female wear jeans & shirt then nobody has any objection even people say such a modern girl or other comments but if any Male wear Female dress then people laugh on them make & even our family members not support us & they never take it as serious & it is also a type of joke for them.It is true a crossdresser with a full time job and a family can’t manage all such things if not get support from family or from wife then it is difficult in Indian society.
Now I come to another factor which I think about afraid, wht is afraid it grow in our mind & heart.If anybody afraid to pass then never pass as women in public.We have to dare to pass as woman & if we well Dress & Makeup then nobody have dare to stop us to pass as women in public.According to me voice is not then factor because lots of female has hrash voice so if any crossdresser make voice soft then it is easy to pass a Women & once we Pass as Women in public then the afraid will gone & we pass easily at any place at any time, but the main factor is afraid 1st we remove afraid from our mind & heart.
hi Lucille and to all that read my post…i am just saying this and its for me to each is there Owen.oh my yes there is the biggest part of me that wishes to pass as it is said.. i thank and i watch all women and what i have learned from that is there is a lot of them that do not pass,so why should i??the only reason is that i am not one and to feel the best i can the more passable i am the less ill be made fun of yet on the other hand the more passable you become the more eyes that will be on you..blinding as it is being called is what Ive been doing but under another name and its being my self..the best i hope for when going out is to look and feel sexy,smell pretty and feel at ease..as odd as it my be the more i tried to be passable the less i got the attention i wanted and the more that im me more i get the attention the way i want…so good luck have fun be safe and thank you for letting me share and for reading my thoughts lace a.
Hello all!
Well, Lucille, you’re right on the money as usual. I do a pretty great job of passing and that’s not just me saying so because I don’t over or under dress enfemme. I just try to blend in by not being too flashy or ragged. The term “less is more” is really true when it comes to my style. I’ve gotten stares and when I go into a store to buy something, they’re really not sure if I am all female or not. I think it all passes but the voice and that’s my next step. It’s not important you pass to all. We never will. It’s important I pass to my liking and do the best I can with what I’ve got to work with. I am married and now am an empty nester. I am not approved of at home so it makes it really hard to do much in my femme role but I strive to do my best. I may be F/T femme someday and will deal with it as things come up. I be as practical as I can be.
Keep up the great work Lucille! I LOVE reading your articles.
Many hugs to all,
Crystal Kellilynne R. (Kelli for short)
As a mwm, bi, who enjoys dressing, and wearing all lingerie, do my best to dress with style, but feel I an not pass. I have never attempted to go out dressed, but have a desire to try.
Hi to everyone, it’s wonderful to read all the comments,I have been a crossdresser for a long time and always wanted to live as a woman and once I thought that I was the only one on the planet, and I turned to alcohol and became an alcoholic and not a nice person, until I accepted who I was,I urge others not to go down that path,but to accept who you are and love who you are. I will never “pass” as a woman but I do try to blend in and I have found that if you act confidently and as naturally as you can people don’t really pay much attention anyway, love to all and especially to Lucille for her understanding and caring and her flat to femme advice has helped me enormously…Peta from down under