“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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passing.. is ALL d way s far i m concerned but after a few incident.. d feeling of dejected is always there n cos living in d closet til now but above captioned do lightented up me n is a great pointer for me.. thz sis LS
This is a gr8 question for sure. I am slowly coming out. My voice was really the first thing I conquered because I could work it and still be slave to my daily existance. However I believe that us girls must come as close as we can to passing, in that we need to get past that initial oh wow she’s TG point.Once the public gets beyond that and gets to know the real you, passing becomes not your biggest issue. I also believe that real TG women shine from inside to out. If we are truely women, and believe it, it will show on the outside and that confidence goes a long way. Lastly, one of my mottos is,
“Be outstanding, don’t stand out.”
Huggs Kristine
Lucile, Ithink I pass pretty well.
First my wife has been a huge help in helping me dress appropriately.
second, I have had my beard totally removed by electrology, thus no beard shadow. My wife and I have been to the grocery store in jeans, tank top and tennis shoes or sandals
and only lipstick for mke-up. I believe, as you say, blending in is the key. Do not dress or act in any way that will draw attention to yourself. Some people may wonder about you. Are you a woman, a trans-woman or a man in a dress. I guess I look good enough that they have that question in their mind and just go about their business. I love my life.
I have been living as a woman with female ID for over 3 years.
To my knowledge I have only been read twice in that time.
My ID is female, I have been hired twice by the Census Bureau as a woman, and by my present employer as a woman.
I get lots of guy attention and some girl attention too whenever I am out usually to shop or eat.
Thanks to you Lucille, I have nice boobs and I frequently go braless in tank tops or other types of tops.
My gg gf of 20yrs actually forgot a week or two ago that I not a gg myself. We always go to ladies rooms together, I talk with other women in there and have no problem. One of them actually blew me a kiss last night when she passed my table (I left before she did). I had complemented her on her beautiful silky black dress.
I am very happy in my new life.
Now I am much older I know there is no way I would ever pass as a woman. Lucille you have been such a great help and the pleasure comes now in concentrating on parts of my body that can be encouraged to feel and look feminine. Nicely shaved legs with expensive stockings and high heels give me that wonderful girlie feeling. My breasts have grown thanks to your advice and the removal of a great piece of my prostate gland. The nipples enlarge wonderfully under with suckters. And though I would never be accepted in company as a woman my beautiful Mistress encourages these feminine feelings and loves to play at making me feel that I am a girl when we are together….I just love it.
Danielle
How do you get your nipples to enlarge. Did I miss something somewhere?
I have to say recently I’ve begun to care less and less about passing and/or being read. As a result I believe I pass more. I’ve been going shopping out on dates,etc and my attitude is demure but confident. I don’t feel I’m getting strange looks or double takes and it’s very liberating. For instance the other evening while at cvs picking up odds and ends several women smiled I smiled back felt natural and nice. A confident feminine walk not over the top(real women don’t swish all that much) along with good posture and a natural liquid flow I believe allows me to pass more effectivly. More importantly I don’t care if I’m read . Whether I am perceived as female or a transvestite either is fine with me. Upon leaving the store a group of young men felt it nessesary to say hello. I said hello back and it was cute how they were admiring my legs. So I guess my devil may care attitude along with my self confidence seems to be working. If not,the problem is theirs ,not mine.
Dear Lucille,- Your advice about passing is right on, as usual. I don’t go out and about much any more because I am old and sick, but for over 20 years I went everywhere all the time, often with friends who knew me, some times with friends who didn’t, and often alone (but always to safe places like shops, and church. I knew I looked OK (but always wishing in my heart I looked prettier). Usually no one paid any particular attention to me but a few times I felt I was being closly scrutinized – (mostly by other women who I felt were at least wondering. — while glances from men were typically brief, warm and positive and gave me a thrill- but I always kept moving) The secret, of course is as you say: be yourself, be confident, be happy, and move about with a certain lively, exuberent step. Any one who follows your advice about clothes, makeup and how to present in public needn’t worry about passing – and will just be happy being herself. Love, Melanie.
I agree with Jenypher Sarah McMicheals. It is all about self confident. If you project it. You will get it. I pass most of the time. I don’t put a percentage on it. I am me and if someone doesn’t like it. That is there problem.
🙂