“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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i have been crossdressing for a couple of years and still don’t go outside in fear that i will be noticed. sometimes at hotel late at night to go get ice , i will wear jeans and top and it fills so good. it is very hard for me.i have spent a lot of time and money on the best wigs, cloths, make up, breast not to happy with. it is great i found you because its like having a friend, and i thank you for that. do make up and every thing right, i think just don’t know. David
Passing isn’t that important to me but I haven’t had much of a problem with it. I get address as a female without doing too much. I’m told I have female looking skin and like features. I just live my life as me not someone that I want people to think I am. I don’t care what others thing but I also haven’t had nothing but positive reactions but I am sure my day is coming.
there are times I blend in more as a female when I am just out being in male mode rather than when I am in female mode. I would rather blend in full time as female, but this is just a stepping stone for me.
I wish I had started to make my self passable when I was a lot younger. My bigest promblem is getting rid of all my body hair.I mean my body is covered in hair. But I still love to dress as a female. So getting my breast to grow is the next best thing for me at this time.
i know i will never pass 100% but when i go out i go knowing i look as good as most women and just go and enjoy being me thanks for all your help ann coke
Hiya Lucille and to all you beautiful ladies. I am a transgender woman fully and thats fine with me. I go out and most of the time I am greated and treated like any other woman in the midwest. Trust me in the land of rednecks and bible thumpers to have them see me as a woman even with a low voice is a thrill above all. Lucille you have helped me alot with tricks and tips about being myself as a lady not trying to imposter a female and not being myself. Love ya gal for all you have done and the rest of you ladies who are you for the way you love yourself.
I do believe that a goal of passing as the gender that you feel yourself to be, is important for a person in transition. I say this from observation and experience. I have lived for thirty years as a male and almost equal number of years as a female.
I have had the privilege to know a few F2Ms and M2Fs in my life. The F2Ms are a bit luckier because of the changes that they experience are more dramatic while on hormone therapy. and it is easier to add mass to their frame. While for a M2F, it is much harder to lose the physical mass that we had to have in order to do the work that we did while living as a male. And for the majority of us, hormones do not reduce angular features that we may have in our faces, hands, legs and feet.
There IS a major flaw that both F2Ms and M2Fs do and that is to over exaggerate our genders. F2Ms go overboard, trying to be masculine. This can work to their advantage but too often it gets them into trouble. While the M2Fs try to be so feminine that it is sickening, this is a huge disadvantage for them. It draws too much attention to them.
You may say that I was one of the luckier M2Fs in my later male years because people would often mistake me for being a female in male clothes. The thing that made it hard for me was/is voice control. But having worked as a woman in a retail store. I have seen and heard women that you would have sworn were males. But they passed as women, not because of their looks but rather their self identity was so strong, and the way they carried themselves with confidence. No one mistook them for being a male.
That is the key to being able to pass. To HAVE the confidence and the unshakable knowledge for a F2M, that YOU ARE A MALE, and for a M2F, that YOU ARE A FEMALE. When I made my change over from male to female, I worried about my ability to pass. Having had an accident that messed-up my face as a child, my worries ran deep. But having known a woman who was disfigured but had the confidence that she was still a woman. It kind of showed me that looks are not everything. It is the self confidence and self acceptance that plays a major role in being able to face the public as either a male or as a female. Just don’t over exaggerate to where you become a caricature of what you feel yourself to be.
To sum it up: Be self assured, and confident in who and what you are but don’t over exaggerate to where you are a cartoon of what you are presenting yourself as.
Passing or not? I honestly to try to look lady like and I have had lots of help with hormones. I used to care what others thought of me , but I came to realize that it is ME I need to care about! I love Debbie and Debbie has a great time out and about! I am a woman inside and that is all that matters. I am 52 years young and feel like my 30’s! I try to blend, but ultimately I really do not care to think what others think or feel! I have been out literally 300 times enfemme and just worry about Debbie!