“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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Even after 55 years as a male. I love it when my girlfriends call me a bitch when I get my good outfits on and go out on my scooter or wheelchair!
Passing used to be my grail quest. Not any more. I’m full time for just over a year now. I blend in well and pass quite well until curiosity strikes the observer. But that does not matter. What does matter is acceptance. A heart felt smile fosters acceptance and this is way better than worrying about passing.
Passing used to be my grail quest. Not any more. I’m full time for just over a year now. I blend in well and pass quite well until curiosity strikes the observer. But that does not matter. What does matter is acceptance. A heart felt smile fosters acceptance and this is way better than worrying about passing.
I feel I’ve been very fortunate, I dress to blend in and have yet not to pass, have gone to gatherings with people that I know, and they made a connection. Have even gone to church- a large church that I had attended a couple of years ago. The church ladies were a bunch nicer to Jackie, and no one made a connection to me as a previous attend. If a gurl wants to pass as a lady, dressing to blend in and be confident in yourself!!!
Jackie
bad typing — the people that I know did NOT make a connection to my guy side
Jackie
Hi Lucille, I have actually come full circle on this one. At one point, I allowed my fear of not passing to dictate my actions of not going out. Let’s face it, I am 6’1″ in stockings, so people KNOW I am a guy. Now, I just smile a lot and have fun in my femme person and have a ball!
Hi Lucille, I at first worried about ‘Passing” and how people looked at me. I worked very hard to ‘Pass” as a woman and did it for the wrong reason and I dont think I did it well. Now I dress to be happy and be my femme self Robyn. Not to ‘pass’ or be accepted but for myself and it makes me whole and happy to be Robyn. It is still a lot of work but it is for me now so it makes it more fun and enjoyable. Thank you for everything Lucille there wouldn’t be a sexy good looking confident Robyn without you. Love and kisses Robyn.
Lucille is right about blending in with confindence. I gave it the test. I have body that needs no help passing it’s my face, i was blessed with a face i can work with but mostly boyish if not. I dressed as a woman, fixed my hair but used no make up at all, all i used was my confidence to pass. I went to a mall and watched for reactions. I believe my blend was 85%. So most of the time i blended since they saw the body first. if they looked closer they notice but its not hard to blend.
ANNIE
At 6’4″ I am always going to stand out and I accept that no matter how “authentic” I look I am likely to attract a second glance because it is very unusual to see such a tall lady.
My aim when I am out and about as Michelle is to look smart and appropriate for a 60-something lady. I love to dress and wear a dress or skirt and show off my legs (definitely my best feature – especially when clad in sheer nylon) but I never wear anything that would deliberately attract attention.
I am ambivalent about whether I like to “pass” – it is possibly rather more rewarding to be recognised as a crossdresser and complimented on my appearance – that has happened to me many times. I think it is a matter of self-confidence – I do not go out and feel apologetic or ashamed of who I am; I am happy to look at people face to face and smile and I believe the response I get is reflective of my positive attitude.
I actually think that, as a crossdresser, it is more important to be recognised and accepted as such rather than being mistaken for a woman.