“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I am older 55 have lost a lot if weight so I have wrinkles mixed with my very very thin hair and masculine face it’s really hard to be what I want to be past as a woman would be super exciting for me !! P.s. I have really nice legs though lol
Lucille,
Once again I would challenge all to set “passing” as a goal. It has taken me years, as you say to “master the subtleties” but it like being a runner. If you train and seek improve you can run the distance. I had a wonderful week. I had an opportunity to be Jane everyday. Went shopping everyday and was treated like a lady. Happiness is the only way to express the feeling of “passing”. It makes me feel whole!
Have fun!
Jane Weston
Hello I’m a 47 y.o. trans woman that has recently went through grs the pic I added was taken almost six months prior to surgeries and I’ve never really cared what anyone thinks about me when I did come out as trans I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders and found my sense of self confidence so passing or blending didn’t matter to me either way I was just happy about being undeniably me
Throughout my life I’ve battled with gender dysphoria. Trying unsuccessfully to be one or the other. I felt stuck in between. I finally found peace by accepting that I AM in between and now i embrace both. I don’t have to choose. I don’t have to convince anyone and I don’t have to be embarrassed to be who I am. They are now unable to misgender me. I let everyone have their own opinion. They can point and giggle, they can whisper behind my back, they can make snarling faces. To me thats a display of their ignorance, hatred or immaturity and at the end of the day, I’m still going to be me and they will still be ignorant, hateful and immature. I can only adjust my own perceptions. I’d be wasting my time trying to adjust theirs.
Although I crossdress mainly at home, I do try to look passable, although some efforts are better than others(!) Seriously though, due to feet problems (long story!), I am unable to be completely passable as I can’t wear heels. Tend to drift towards slippers!! However, how we present, surely we are the ones who should be critical of ourselves, never mind what other people think. Really interesting article
I would like to be passable but I only dress in private with my tg friend who helps me with my make up.
No, it doesn’t matter. Because “passing” would depend on everyone else’s opinion. I really don’t give a flying fart what their opinion of me is. 🙂
Interesting article, as I’m looking to make my public debut soon. I worry about “passing” or even “blending in” quite frequesting. Since I’m a tall CD (6’2″) heels aren’t really an option without drawing unwanted attention to myself. I feel like I’m getting a lot better with makeup, but my biggest fear is the attention I’ll get. Everyone says the first step is the hardest. And that was certainly true when I started shaving year round, but no one has noticed or said anything.