Do you think it’s important to “pass” as a woman? This is something a lot of crossdressers and transgender women think about.
Is passing really a goal worth pursuing?
I’ve shared my thoughts on whether or not I think passing matters in this blog post. (Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.)
But now, I’m curious to know what YOU think:
Do you care about passing as a woman? Or are you proud to be seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are?
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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As I approach 50, I find I care less and less what others think. I like to look and feel pretty, and I think I do all right. 🙂
Sometimes I am conscious of how I look, but I try not to worry too much. I pass more often than I don’t, and that’s just fine with me.
I love reading others’ thoughts and feelings in these polls, and I’m happy for all of us!
Tracy Leigh
Ellen I’m very much the same as you honey having to hide myself and true feelings we care for those around us it seems more than they for us I know how hard it is you may even see a man in a dress no matter what because you know that you are on the outside you have to see past your outer shell look for the woman in the man if that helps I see the same but I know inside is female Love M.J.
My goal is always to pass. Sometimes I know that I don’t, and I’m OK with that as long as I am accorded respect. Since one of my favorite places to visit is my local Nordstrom store, the sales ladies in one of the departments know that I’m trans, but they treat me with respect and rarely fail to mention how they like what I’m wearing. That is quite enough for me.
The former manager of said department pulled me aside one time and said she thinks I was put on this planet to be Suzy, and how I had completely changed the dynamic in her department, that the older ladies especially had never really encountered a trans woman before, but after seeing what a warm person I am and how good I looked (her words, not mine), that they quickly embraced me and look forward to my frequent visits to the store. I get the same treatment in my local Sephora.
Like one of the other respondents, I favor short skirts (even though I’m in my late 50s) because I have the legs for it. As long as I am accepted as a tasteful and classy trans person, that’s generally enough for me.
That’s wonderful, Suzy. I’m so happy for you!
Well, well, well…
I guess my comment was judged inappropriate for a forum for Transgender folks.
My apologies for being ‘real’.
Gerri
What an interesting topic. I myself have been out in public since Jan 2013. At 1st it was extremely terrifying , fearing that I would be criticized and laughed at by the shopkeepers, clerks, store management, etc. But I soon realized that in order to be happy for the rest of my life I had to overcome my fears by smiling at everyone and engaging in conversations and just being a pleasant person. My outward appearance would evolve up to the point that I always feel confident in my “femininessence” i.e. makeup, clothing, my growing breasts, my demeanor, my movements, my voice.
Today I am completely living as a woman, retired and no longer having to appear at work as a man. The many places I go in public I feel as though I have brought an awareness of the existence of transgender people in society to some people who seem to be caught off guard by my appearance, but I always leave with a positive feeling that society is suddenly becoming accepting. I feel it is my duty or place to be a positive symbol of the transgender presence in society.
So, to me, passing is just a state of mind. Be cheerful, smile, non-confrontational,…in other words…Act Like A Lady!
Being able to pass is my goal as I’m sure it is for most of us. My whole life has been lived trying to pass as something, male for the majority of my days. I never felt right as a man but had to hide and hold back any signs of femaleness. I was pushed into being aggressive, tough and never showing my true feelings. When I could stand it no longer and started dressing in secret I felt so alive, so free I could barely control myself. Then I looked in the mirror and saw a man in a dress. I need so much to not be just a man in a dress, so passing as the woman I know that I am is my top priority. I want the same acceptance from the World as a she that I got as a he.
Hi,
It used to be that i felt i both wanted and needed to pass. More and more, i don’t care, in fact i’m now directing my efforts to go out as myself without a wig, light makeup, women’s pants and top that parallel men’s clothing, and women’s flat shoes. Eventually, i hope to be confident enough to go out without a wig, in a dress and heels, full makeup and accessories. That’s me. i’m just worried abut how it will be received “out there.”
-linda
I’ve been living as a woman since August 1996, and have long since given up worrying about whether I am ‘passing’ or what other people think when they see me. I figure if someone has a problem with the way I live and dress, then it’s THEIR problem and not mine.
Currently I’m 68 and long retired, and tend to be a casual dresser. I don’t remember the last time I went anywhere in heels. Shorts and tshirts in the summer, jeans and casual tops in the winter. I hang out at the gun counter in a local store, listening to others and talking about pistols and rifles. At home I have flowers to take care of and am a great cook.
And, a few months ago, I joined “The Well Armed Woman” national group and also a local chapter. When we have our meetings and shoots, there’s usually 30-40 women in attendance. Some know, some don’t. I don’t worry about it.
I’ve learned to be comfortable, and happy, with myself.
Life is good.
Gerri