Do you think it’s important to “pass” as a woman? This is something a lot of crossdressers and transgender women think about.
Is passing really a goal worth pursuing?
I’ve shared my thoughts on whether or not I think passing matters in this blog post. (Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.)
But now, I’m curious to know what YOU think:
Do you care about passing as a woman? Or are you proud to be seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are?
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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To me it’s extremely important to feel and look pretty. This gives me the confidence to continue to work at keeping my feminine shape and appearance
Passing, now there is a subject and a half. I always present myself totally as a lady and dress appropriately for all circumstances, i.e. glam for evening and every day for daytime. My aim is always to pass and I do a lot of the time. BUT and here is the big but, no one ever totally passes noy even the most femme transgender women. I can walk down the street and people don’t give me a second glance but in all honesty close up and in speaking situations I am usually read. But my take on this is you have to get to the point where you just don’t care. In my experience if you present as a woman and behave properly these days people will just accept you whether they read you or not, well that is the current situation in the big cities in the UK. Recently I was in a Department store in Manchester and had to go to the ladies, but big queue. So there is me in a big queue of women waiting for a toilet, once upon a time that situation would have totally freaked me out, but I took it ion my stride. I guess to most of them who didn’t bother to look too closely I passed, I was behaving as a woman and even if a few may have guessed they either weren’t interested or accepted me, quite an experience that day. Incidentally passing in the straight everyday world is a lot easier than passing in the gay/transgender venues and area. My take on the is is in the straight world people aren’t looking or expecting to see tgirls or transgender women. In the gay/transgender areas like the Village in Manchester they are and you will be read every time. Strange that isn’t it? My advice just aim to pass but don’t care if you don’t. Its all great fun and such a big buzz. Its also nice to be noticed and get attention for as we all know as a man you are invisible. Rachel xxx
Passing is important however just being in full female attire and makeup feels fantastic for me. As long as I can enjoy my feminine side passing is not the most important part of my
Girly self expression.
Where I live, in the Senior Retirement Community, I’m accepted as female fully and completely. I usually have no issues when I’m out and about shopping either. It’s gotten to the point were I don’t think about if I’m a woman or not because I am!
I feel more comfortable and confident in myself with being passable. Hopefully, I do a fairly good job of it as well. I want to spend as much time as I can being Meryl and would love to more permanently alter my appearance. However, I just can’t bring myself to give up my career or hurt my family and friends. I very much feel trapped! Furthermore, I don’t have a significant other (girl friend) to share my intimate (very personal) thoughts and feelings with. Living full time would be awesome but not realistic.
Signed,
Very down (Meryl)
Meryl, If it helps at all, know that you are not alone in your feelings and thinking. I have a long time (7 yrs)very supportive GF that lets me explore my fem self. I sometimes go too far for her comfort zone and then have to pull back. It’s a fine line that I feel I have to walk. I want real breasts, and would like to go out more enfemme. I love shopping for clothes, makeup, and shoes! Lately, I have cut back even looking at these items because I don’t get to wear them so they are just filling a closet.
I could never bring myself to come out to my family or friends as Im pretty sure I would lose them all. Yes, I feel trapped and frustrated often. Never understand how a GG can wear mens clothes but I cant wear womens clothes and not be scoffed. Yes living full time would be awesome but not possible in my world either. UGH!
If you would like to correspond via email feel free to ask and I will supply an email address. Keep your chin high, HUGS, Holly.
I used to think that way. But at some point you need to set your self free. It will tear you up inside. Your family will love you. It doesn’t make you any less of a parent. It takes time. In this life we are young only for a short time. Make it what you want.
Sorry I forgot to leave my photo…
While passing and blending seem to be two different concepts, zi believe that are the two different sides to the same coin. Consider that a great many women are not really attractive (no finger pointing here, just stating a fact) but they do all blend in. In fact, some women prefer not to be too pretty so they don’t stand out but blend. For those of us who are simply gorgeous, passing is not an issue. But whether you pass, or blend, when, in the course of your daily public activities, you pass another woman on the street, or in the supermarket, and get that secret little smile we give to each other, or are just ignored, you know that somehow you have arrived. The results are plain, and one doesn’t have to worry whether they blend or pass. You have received a “passing” grade.
It use to be sort of a competition to me. To win meant I “passed.” That along with beginning to understand this “gift,” that I had so it became a work in progress, to integrate and understand the various aspects of this “gift.” The feminine aspect was simply to lay out clothes that I wanted to wear, depending on where I was going (and changing my mind three or four times as we are want to do). Putting on my make-up, dressing and out the door! The woman that now goes out the door is for all intentional purposes a woman, doing what women do, shopping, dining out with friends, going to a movie or concert, whatever. I reached a point many years ago that I was not concerned about passing, it actually never even enters my mind now. I am more inclined to look nice, be confident in who I am and have fun! So now it just smile, act like you belong where ever you are and have fun. AND I DO!
Go Forth Woman ….. and BE!
Thanks for your inspiring post. It’s helpful to know things can and will loosen up. : )
unfortunately, no matter how hard itry certain days, i just cant pass. even when the shoes and outfit seem so perfect. it definitely can be very depressing. at the same time ive been in stores buying clothes, wearing my daisy dukes and wearing kitten heels and ive had NATURAL women tell me i have great legs. but still it is depressing when the cashier says ok sir or ok man, etc. Lauralynn
That can be brutally hard when people call me sir. It happens less and less though and I work on my attitude to love and accept myself regardless of how people respond to me. I’m pretty comfortable presenting a female, but verbal engagements can be tricky and make me nervous. Sometimes I struggle with my voice. I’ve sought voice therapy but my insurance company denied the request because the provider used the diagnostic code for transexualism!