Do you feel like you don’t fit into traditional gender norms?
Whether you’re a crossdresser, a transgender woman, or someone who embraces a different gender identity, one thing is clear: society still has a lot to learn about gender non-conforming people.
Do you agree? If so, let’s talk about it!
What do you wish people understood about you?
Whether it’s the people closest to you or the world at large, what message would you like to share?
The more voices and perspectives out there, the more others will hopefully begin to understand.
I’d love to hear from you, so please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I wish people could understand that crossdressing is not about want or like. It is about Need.
I still very shy in going out as a woman. This is still hard for me, I think it is my age as I am in my middle age. If I was younger think it would be easer, as it is talk about more.
I wish people could. Understand that it is not us trying to be something we are not but that we are trying to be who we are. They don’t feel it so they don’t understand. Remember that to transition its not just you its everyone else too. Not their responsablity but yours. You want everyone to accept you and sometimes you have to be patient, the time is coming.
Like the comment from Dana above I also have been wrestling for over half a century with issues relating to my identity. Learning to be secretive becomes a standard survival mechanism, living with conflict, not of others towards me but of conflict within myself and a kind of passive aggression from me to me is a constant drain on ones energy and self esteem.
To a certain extent gender relies on stereotyping and I am very much aware that the real me has to manipulate the game of stereotyping depending on where I am and who I am with, sadly it seems to be the way the world works for the present. So I go out dressed as a man when with my wife and family, in privacy I wear feminine clothes and feel much happier and relaxed in this mode. But more than the clothing there are the inner feelings and identity and it is these that can cause the greatest confusion and emotional hurt. I believe I am feminine whether I am out working and dressed as a male or at home dressed as a female. In this way I have to play the stereotype game.
People say I am understanding, creative, compassionate, an excellent listener capable of great empathy; I say this not to promote myself but to make the point these are generally considered in the game of stereotyping to be feminine characteristics, yet I can use and display them wearing man-clothes and looking ‘man’ and ‘get away with it’, so it is possible to be partly feminine in the male world, but for me that is not enough. I want to be identified as, accepted as, a female, rather than a man who ‘unusually’ shows these characteristics. Its about authenticity, about being content and happy with the you that is known by the rest of the world. No one would choose the confusion and turmoil that such a state of inner conflict brings, and I do not believe that most thoughtful people would want those of us so afflicted to suffer as we do, but some how we all seem to be programmed with these stereotypical assumptions. To be confronted with something out of one’s comfort zone, to live with things and people that do not conform to the expected, can be very stressful. People notice differences and may feel unsure or even threatened by what they are unused to. Different of itself is neither bad nor good, just different. Regardless of our body’s bits and bobs, regardless of the clothes we wear, regardless of the role in life we live, please, can we just accept ourselves and each other as fellow humane beings just trying to live as satisfying a life as we can whilst having no wish or intention to hurt any one else. Live and let live, celebrate individuality and difference where it is accompanied by compassion and an open mind.
I agree with all the above and I too wish I would be accepted for wearing dresses, lingerie, etc. either in my own house or out in public. Just to be able to go shopping as a girl, try on dresses before I buy them would be lovely, thanks
Just because we dress differently dosen’t make us gay or queer. I find that it is expressing one self and find it no different than women wearing pants. We are born who we are and have little to say as to what one wears.
I so agree with you…when I tried to explain my thoughts the sight said they would not post it…I have been on this sight for years,my thoughts were very clean and resptful…I don’t under stand Lucy
I just wish that people knew that I’m not gay but I do like to crossdress. Although I’m in the early stages with just painting my toes and wearing panties. But I’m not gay by any means it just makes me feel sexy! I haven’t found anything in men’s clothing that makes me feel sexy.
I wish the people in my life that know about Lisa really understood the feelings and shame associated with being transgender and would stop thinking it’s just a fad and will go away.