Do you ever find yourself wondering if it’s okay to crossdress? Do you feel weighed down by society’s judgment and expectations?
Well, it’s time to shed that weight and liberate yourself! Let’s talk about why crossdressing is absolutely okay, and why you should embrace it without any guilt.
1. Self-Expression Matters
As humans, expressing ourselves is a basic core need.
Crossdressing is just one way to showcase your personality, tastes, and preferences through clothing. It’s an ideal outlet for creativity and individuality.
2. Fashion Has No Gender
Who says certain clothes are meant only for specific genders?
Clothes don’t have an inherent gender; they are pieces of fabric that can be enjoyed by anyone. So, wear what makes you feel confident and fabulous!
3. Breaking Free from Gender Norms
Crossdressing challenges outdated gender norms. It’s time to break free from rigid ideas of what’s “appropriate” to wear.
Crossdressing allows you to take a stand against society’s expectations and encourages others to do the same.
4. It’s Not Harmful
Let’s be clear – crossdressing is harmless. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, there’s no reason to feel bad about it.
Feeling guilty about expressing yourself through clothing is unnecessary and unproductive.
In conclusion
Being true to yourself is a beautiful thing, and it sets an example for others to do the same.
So, let go of the guilt, and embrace your fabulous, feminine side!
Now I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you ever feel guilty about crossdressing? If you’ve overcome feelings of guilt, how did you do so?
Please take my poll and leave me your comments below!
Love,
Lucille
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I grew up in a rather bizarre set of circumstances. From a very early age, my sister (12 years my senior), would dress me up as her little sister and take me out shopping with her. My mother always wanted another girl and from when I can remember, that fact was never too far away. So I suppose, least for me, the stigma attached, least in my early years, was not an issue.
Later through my teens, well after my sister had move out, I continued to enjoy playing dress-ups and spending literally hours exploring my sister’s wardrobe etc of girly items, she’d left behind. It was pretty obvious what I was doing and even though my mother would find my stashes, nothing was ever said.
Looking back, I wouldn’t say I ever felt guilty, more so, it was a feeling of confusion to why my Male body shared it with a female persona and visa versa. However it never stopped me doing what I enjoyed.
Not that I share my female persona with my male friends but my female friends, g/f’s and also my female partners, have all known about Lisa. None of them have every made me feel guilty or anything negative.
Though, if I like a woman, I’d always drop little innuendos and ask topical questions regarding views on TG topics etc., this was a good way to gauge whether or not she was TG friendly, so to speak. If I received negative feedback/opinions, then I knew it wouldn’t work and I’d end the relationship. No point in pursuing something which could very well become toxic per se.
My current female partner of 11 years, accepts Lisa, so it’s all good.
Besides, society is changing, albeit slowly. I find the pressures to fit into the stereo typical male role, these days, is far, far less, than it was in my 20’s (1980’s). EG – Malescaping is an accepted practice these days, so too is being metrosexual. Adding the younger generation; those in their teens and early 20’s, are publishing all kinds TG topical vids. It’s knida become trendy to be TG these days.
hugs
x
Lisa
Do I feel guilty? Yes and no. Becky_in_progress puts it quite right in saying the biggest issue is putting this problem on the shoulders of other people, especially loved ones like your wife and kids. I am not ashamed of who I am (though sometimes I wonder exactly what I am and how I can manage myself), but I feel bad at forcing this on them, to deal with it, possibly to be mocked because of me, and so on…
As for gender roles, yo nailed it: our society, though much less patriarchal nowadays, still fundamentally considers “masculine” as superior, hence excuses girls for wanting to be superior, but cannot accept boys to want to “demean” themselves, since that would essentially challenge the very tenet of male superiority… To an extent, transsexuals are more easily acceptable than gender fluid people like me, because they are not challenging the accepted order, just asking to be part of a different class. But we gender fluid persons, by claiming to be one or the other, or a mix, at various times, are basically denying the substance of these gender roles and hence classes. Hence the hate, rejection, mockery… 🙁
Yup. You spelled it out quite well as did Lucille.
It’s OK for girls to look masculine or wear masculine clothing because they are aspiring to be “better”, “stronger”, “superior”. But OH MY! If a male wears feminine clothing or looks feminine, they are “weak” and “inferior” and somehow “betraying” what it is to be male! Talk about complete gender bias!
Hell no I’m so proud of who I am. I do do regret no accepting my trans self sooner, I’m mid 30’s now married with 3 daughters. Perhaps life would have been different?? So everyone who I speak to is so accepting and super supportive, except for that is my own wife. She’s having a hard time coming to terms with my gender identity and only she makes me feel guilty for finding out who I really am inside.
I have been experiencing gender dysphoria off and on since I was young too. I finally started talking to a psychiatrist about it a year ago and she seemed more convinced than I am about the reality of an experience I’ve passed off as escapism, fantasy, delusion, perversion, denial, or self-sabotage / self-destruction. I started dressing and presenting as female in private (I’m a medical student that lives alone), but every time I try to convince myself to take that enormous step out of my front door, I get stuck with this thought:
“If I live with my own internalized dysphoria – it remains limited to being my problem alone, but if I step out of my front door, I’m making my problem into an issue where everyone I meet is forced to deal with. Is it fair for me to indiscriminately demand that my issues become issues for everyone else, if it is clear that many in society are frightened and confused by gender-variant / transgender phenomena?”
As a med student, I’m aware that all fetuses start out as female, and that there are multiple points along the course of differentiation that lead to male, or female, or some combination of the two. Speaking strictly of biology, gender is most likely the amalgamation of traits: neurological, endocrine, anatomical, and metabolic. So gender is probably more a “mosaic” than a rigid binary state determined only by chromosomes. But please note: I’m not a doc, so this isn’t meant to be taken as “true”, it’s just something that my current studies have “suggested” to me – which I relate here as a way that I’ve tried to understand myself, beyond the influences of religion, society, politics, psychologists, other trans* folks, and the ubiquitous mental prison of historical “common sense”.
Dealing with this in med school is also profoundly disheartening: I’m surrounded by highly competitive, image-conscious, largely obedient / conformist individuals (students, professors, attendings) who are profoundly intelligent, ambitious, and motivated. I fear that transitioning will imperil my ability to succeed and be of service to others as a physician. As well, my traditional father (his self-description, not mine) will not understand: when I was in the 4th grade my mother discovered that I had been using scissors to create my own secret girl’s wardrobe out of t-shirts and shorts, which catalyzed a militant program of “toughening” me up so I would become a normal boy: sports, serving as an altar boy, teaching me to be more aggressive, etc. It was unpleasant to feel that something must be so wrong with me that this type of drastic behavior modification was necessary. I interpreted it as though I “brought it on myself”, and have fought, denied, drugged, and tried to destroy it ever since.
I know most, if not all, of you have gone through things like this, or worse. My narrative isn’t meant to be comparative, but to merely add one more source of kindling in the path of the wild fire that has been suppressed and ignored for millennia.
But all that said, I’m still perplexed that I can’t find an option that makes sense for me. And I still go through periods of doubt, guilt, denial, or even internalized self-aggression in trying to find some way of integrating the experience of being a male medical student, and spending time studying in my room as a female (clothes, make-up, etc.) – fearing that I’m traveling down a dead-end road in life, because I can’t envision any path forward.
All the best to you all. Thanks for all the contributions and the hard work many of you have done to lay the groundwork for another great transformation in human society. This was my first comment, as I was moved by a lot of these experiences. I hope that I will somehow, someday be able to participating with you all in making a freer, happier, healthier, saner, and richer world for everyone.
Solidarity.
No guilt or shame. I’m nearly 65 and full time. Married for 44 years and my wife is totally supportive. We shop for clothes together and share some clothes (I’m not very big). Life is good. If I have any regret, it’s only that I didn’t transition when I was in my late teens or early twenties.
Yes, I feel guilty, for two main reasons:
1. I grew up in a very sheltered Catholic family, and despite the fact that I’ve more or less separated myself from it all, deep down I still have the feeling I’m sinning even though I can’t explain why.
2. I have a hard time treating myself to anything, particularly when I have to spend money on it. I’d love to go out and buy myself some nice outfits, but I just can’t bring myself to spend much money on any of it.
On the plus side, my wife is very supportive, and has no issues with me dressing up in private (though our kids must never find out).
I’m not ashamed to be trans. I never have been but when you live full time as yourself the general public make it so hard, you get insulted, hurt emotionally and you can feel that your life is a punchline of some twisted joke… You grow up hating yourself. The most basic ways of living can be the hardest and going to work can make you hate every day.. When all you want is to be left alone to do your job… And all you get is questions about your personal life… NO one deserves that…
Trans people have already gone through so much so why do the public make things worse… When they have no clue what it’s like to be trans…
I can totally relate to what Topanga has written. I never feel “guilty” about expressing my femininity. I would not hesitate to spend all the time I could as a girl in public. But it’s the “selfishness” issues, like having to dress “in secret” from family and having to “hide” money to support my femininity that cause guilt.
hi Gini , well yes if you get down to it is sinning , however it is up to the person to decide weather to pursue cross dressing . I have fought it for 30 some years. Purging then coming back and going farther than the previous time . When dolled up I am quite femme . But still battle my feelings of dressing daily !